Please forgive me

I knew this is how it would end
found dead on a park bench
yesterday's news covering your cold
 stiff body

Was it my fault
I mean, I tried, didn't I
tried to help you
I went to AA meetings with you
I poured your vodka down the drain
even though I got a black eye for it
I tried I tried my best

Now a call, "Can you indentify a body, we found
your name and address in the victims pocket
it was a bit crumpled but we finally figured out the numbers
so can you please come look at this body'?

Could I
Could I

How come it has to be me
Why do I have to be the one to look at your dead body
Why did I have to be the one you chose
Why did I have to stay
Why did I stay

Shaking as I walk to the table you lie on
Looking at you
Memories fill my head

Click

You and me walking
hands clasped
the same music playing inside our heads
looking at each other with pure
unadulterated love
The future ...

Click

You look peaceful
not what  I expected
 better than you did the last time
I saw you
the day you picked up your knapsack
and begged one more time
for me to please let you stay

Be hard I tell myself
don't give in
peace at last
no more beatings
no more pleading with you
please don't
please don't drink
please get help

Did I forsake you?
Did God forsake you?
Did you forsake yourself?


I kiss your eyes
Wipe away the tears
and say,
"Please forgive me"

Click


 

Author's Note

partially fictional

Reviews

[Devons]

This is tragically beautiful and very sad indeed. I really like the way you separated sections of images with a *click* like a camera taking cold snapshots of a memory, conjuring up the idea of another cold camera - the one that snaps pictures of a corpse, cold and without humility...
It is something i have pondered at times.. running into someone again one day to find they have fallen to a low ebb - and its an image you do not wish to face.. The same way you would not wish to face that same image in your own reflection.. To compare faces between dates - and see the horrible difference the ravages of time and experience have written upon you. Like Dorian Gray's painting...
It is also a stark warning to alcholics - although i don't think it would make any difference to the outcome..

[Chloe..Across the Universe]

Devons we miss you here you were are one of the best writers and reviewers I hope you come back again thank you for this reviewh

[BlackHeart]

that was great i enjoyed it my boyfriend drinks too vodka as u put in your work so in some strange way i know how u feel except for the dead part i too am trying to help him.

♥ BlackHeart ♥

[Tai Chi Italy]

A real OUch read here Chloe, it brought tears to my eye's, and the thought that, 'no matter what you try to do for someone, only they can determine their own future, and if they want one.

You say this is partially fiction and yet I know, this comes from a very brave young heart.

May his soul now rest in peace.

Take care of you and yours Chloe, you did your best.

Hug from

Tai, back to test the waters literally. x

[Valentine]

This is the life I lived with my ex husband..I ran 1000 miles to be safe from him shooting me or my parents..I know all of these feelings but the dead thing..But there azre different kinds of death in a persons heart..God bless..Valentine

[FiNcHy]

this nearly made me cry. i was in those shoes once im glad i got out b4 it was to late.

[A.Low]

Wow i love it i almost cried

[Dalaina Renee]

That soo sad! So many people are lost to achol. It is so controlling. Wonderful poem, written from the heart.

[Dawn Davis]

Please tell me this is just a writing.... It is OMG WOW I am speech less its like your heart is aching for the writer so much and going through the movie clips of memories the two shared! but the peace on his face at the end showed he wasn't sick anymore from his disease of alcohol OUTSTANDING WRITE LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you so much for writing this but you much let me know was this a true write

[bob, small b. aka invs]

very simply written. but very deeply emotional. nice writing.

[Jason A. Kendrick]

I FEEL LIKE THIS POEM IS INCOMPLETE IN SOME WAY FOR SOME REASON AND NOT FOR THE FINAL CLICK. tHAT ACTUALLY MADE FOR A GOOD FINALITY. I FEEL THAT YOU WERE LEANING TOWARD HIM ASKING THE LAST DAY ON THIS PLANE FOR YOUR FORGIVENESS ONE LAST TIME BEFORE HIS FINAL HOUR AND IT SEEMED THAT YOU SWITCHED AWAY FROM THAT AND WENT TO THE MEMORIES TO SOON. ON A SCALE OF 1-10 I WILL GIVE THIS ONE AN 8 BECAUSE I CAN RELATE TO THIS AND THE WORDS THAT WERE WROTE AND THE FORMAT CHANGE WAS VERY WELL INBEDDED IN THIS POEM.

[Bubo]

Oh Chloe
This piece means so much to me, the demons of drink and how it just kills not only relationships, but the
loved one that cannot do without, I have experienced that on every level, I cannot begin to tell you, but finally we are now 11 months tee-total, so I pray each day he gains in strenght.........this is such a sad piece, so emotional,the guilt evident, but not warranted, for eventually they will bring you down with them........
bless you.