Pull The Shades Please

Pull The Shades Please

A Poem by Chloe..Across the Universe
"

Sister, Mommy, Daddy and me

"

Pull the shades so we can
hide from the world
our dirty little secrets-

Sister is in her room cutting
herself not bad though no
just enough to feel the hurt

Pull the shades so we can
hide from the world
our dirty little secrets-

Daddy is in the closet
wearing mommy's garter-belt
stroking himself and saying.
" What a pretty girl am I "

Pull the shades so we can
hide from the world
our dirty little secrets-

Mommy is in the bath
vomiting her dinner
she thinks daddy will
love her more


Pull the shades so we can
hide from the world
our dirty little secrets-

I am spying on them all
plotting  revenge
death by - disclosure

Pull the shades please
so I can hide from the world
my dirty little secrets-

© 2010 Chloe..Across the Universe


Author's Note

Chloe..Across the Universe
no personal meaning just popped into my head as i sat here
and i need an ending used the suggestion by sera.... closure or disclosure i chose dis.. not dat haha

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...
... it's a vivid, telling, and compelling social comment ... absolutely brilliant ... "death by closure"? ... "death by disclosure"? ... also just popped in my head when i read that line ... "death by -" ... very powerful verse ... exceptionally skillful ... so much has been said with such few and simple words ... great verse ...

Posted 11 Years Ago


3 of 3 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

I like it. Conjures up a few things for me... experimenting with cutting in jr high with my friend who took it to a much deeper level. More so, though, it reminds me of working in an adolescent rehab in my early 20s and finding out way too much information about what had been going on behind closed doors. Really put a wake up call in my cushy little life. Yes... I was taught not to air the dirty linen, but I think the world is a bit more exhibitionists and voyeurs now than when I was young. Dirty little secrets... we can now tune in and watch someone elses on tv. to make a long story short... your little head pop got mine a thinkin!! Excellent write, and glad to know its not your reality!

Posted 11 Years Ago


Wow...this piece is really good. You really conjure so amazing imagery of what goes on behind closed doors. A powerful and emotionally charged write, very cleverly done.


Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Chloe, so much truth of what is going on in this world today in these few lines..Sad when I think of a child haveing to witness this type of abuse in front of them...lol and God bless..Kathie

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

A very powerful writing. Excellent in delivery and the message so profound. Very well done...

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Cleverly contrived... I liked very much the vignettes of dark and bizarre behaviour, of daddy stroking himself while wearing mummy's garter and mummy vomiting in the bath... There was a surrealism about it all that appalled and fascinated...

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Haha, I really liked this one, It's got a little shock value to it and a dark side that's real cool. It also reflects the reality of everyday life that's out there in somewhere U.S.A. It could also be an amalgam of many different families. Good one Chloe.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

We all have secrets...
A nice portrayal, somewhat scary but true, of many families throughout the world.
Nicely penned.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Wow! this is quite the write here. I laughed at the part of daddy
is in the closet. This is a powerful write really. Deep with meaning.
Very well written

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Extremely realistic and blunt. You really delve into the dark secrets that no one ever wants to hear about, even in poetry that is supposed to express dark secrets. I was really moved by the father one. The others were less in your face and pretty played out and done. No offense meant by that, they're just not as bold and I'm not saying they need to be. The chorus was my favorite part. It really fits and it flows nicely. Some of the verses... the wording is a little awkward and the rhythm is off, but overall, very good piece. Well done.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on May 14, 2010
Last Updated on May 14, 2010

Author

Chloe..Across the Universe
Chloe..Across the Universe

Smalltown, USA, AR



About
Sometimes i feel like an alien in a strange land..can you relate? I love people and friends are just that to me , friends-if you request me as a friend it would be nice if you read something I have .. more..

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