Rain of Blood

Now here is a poem that ACTUALLY didn't take me 30 minutes to write. Mostly because the lack of inspiration

A breeze is blowing slowly, on the wake of our destruction,

Thunder's roar is growing louder, with the flash of its conduction.

Sky is getting darker, with each second that passes,

Shadow covers cities, and their fearing masses.

My destiny embraced, the time is coming nigh,

The land will become red, when angels begin to cry.

Resistance seems futile, we get what we deserve,

Heaven's wrath's upon us, God does no longer observe.

Drops of red are washing away each and every sin,

Souls torn from bodies, emotions ripped through skin.

The purpose of existence, throughout time held in sway,

Now stands amiss, by rain of blood carried away.

Grasping for the last breath, my hand reaches for yours,

An act in vain before the closing of our lives' doors.

Earth cracks below us, revealing the depths of fire,

A portion of souls descend below, a portion raises higher.

Cataclysm rages on, unleashing its full power,

Afterwards a new world will bloom, like a spring flower.

And before forfeiting the strife, I saw a twinkle in your eye,

My last thought hurt the most: I'm not ready to die.

Author's Note

I thought about telling you guys how do I imagine the story here, but I'll leave that for you to interpret. Also, this is not meant to be a love poem, although it contains some motives that may give you the impression - that was just a scene that took place in my head and I thought that it would be cool.

Reviews

[forevermore1218]

This is really good man :)
I love how you formatted everything you wanted to say into these verses and made each one similar, yet made each one their own. I like specifically the last one "My last thought hurt the most: I'm not ready to die." I don't know if this was your intention, but I thought that gave a sign of hope showing that you aren't ready to give up.
Great Job!!!!!

btw, I think this would make a really good linkin park song. I am really tempted to steal this and send it to them jk jk :)

[♪The Girl Next Do..]

I love this peice. I can't find anything wrong with it! Your imagery is amazing- I felt like I was sitting their, wasting awy in the flames and blood pouring down. Awesome job!

[Mika Haruna]

i really liked this, the imagry and rhyming scheme was very captivating, wonderful imgainitive peice, great job :)

[Brandon S. Whitten]

Well done. More insight than I see in today's youth. No worries though, we don't really "die".

[Tomislav Petricevic]

Dear aram aram,
I'm usually polite, especially when I meet new people, but f**k you. I wouldn't expect mentally chalenged people like you to understand poetry. Your mother apparently let you have some fun on the internet, because of the tough life you led, being retarded. You have a nerve insulting me and my people like this, because you write some s****y short stories that anyone would like for you to erase. You say you'll write more stories for readers' entertainment, but spare us the horror. If you go on being a dickhead like this, you won't get far, so I suggest you just shut the f**k up and keep your head down. Learn from the people here, and improve that bullshit stories of yours. Your comment for my writing is probably the best story you'll ever write. And what's that thing about Croats being liers? Your withered mind must be imagining things. My poem has nothing to do with any of the bullshit you're talking about, so f**k off, b***h.

I apologize to other WritersCafe users for explicit language, but it had to be done.

[Kaylor Mason]

This is really good--I admire your vision of the apocalypse. Some souls go down, and some go up--I thought that part was really cool. The profoundest, truest and scariest thing is that on Judgement Day, a lot of people won't be ready to die. More than can be imagined, in fact. If there's one thing to be thankful for, it's that I'm saved; even if I'd rather not die just yet, I can still face it and know how I'll come out. A lot of people don't have that security, and when you see them, you can see how it tears them apart inside--the stress of being spiritually lost like that is mind-numbing.

[aram aram]

Heyley looks like the real Croat, So does Phil Jackson, I mean did the Bulls read this one when Dennis Rodman burrowed your mothers wedding dress to promote your poetry? Or did your Croat father steal Tony's performance gown from Micheal Jordans dream. Let's assume we're eagles without feathers on our left wing, do we than turn around and show our face through our anal blood dreep, I am curious as to what does sixteen years have in goat, sounds real pointed and bush wash jointed. Let me sum up what you may believe, that Croat's are layers they're not thieves.

[Hayley]

I am pretty impressed by your use of rhyme in this piece. Oftentimes it is hard not to be led entirely by the rhyme scheme, but it is not forced at all. I used to write pieces like this, so I know the style and the difficulty level, but you added new elements to it, such as the expressions in multiple scenes. My favorite part would have to be the last stanza. It's riveting. Excellent work!

[Rae Elizabeth]

Amazing. I'm simply speechless. I love how you used the things of mother nature to get your point across... lovely. :)

[xSamilynnx]

Wow this is really good!!!!! i like the details and the story!!!! if anything the only thing to change is how long it is.... id love to read more!!!!!