Hidden

I see you.
You see me.
But you don't see the real me. 

 

I don't trust people enough to let them see my true self,
Why, you ask?
They won't like it.

 

It rears its ugly head from time to time,
Frightening people in the process.
"That isn't you!" they exclaim. Or "What's wrong?"

 

Nothing is wrong.
Don't be concerned about me.
I'm just visiting my real side,
My real mind. 

 

Nobody wants to see me.
So I don't let them.
They can be shallow fools all they want,
Thinking I'm bouncing with happiness all the time.
Well, newsflash: I'm not. 

 

Don't attempt to change me,
Don't try to help.
It won't aid me on my constant battle of keeping myself hidden.

 

I'd rather be a fake lie
Than let you see me.

Author's Note

Another okay piece.
Thanks for reading, leave a review!

Reviews

[Last Lying Look]

This wasn't bad. You released your emotion and thats one of the main parts of poetry.
"I'd rather be a fake lie,
Than let you see me."--- I liked that part.
Some times you should show your real side, not matter how scary. Because it is a part of you.
But I totally agree with you... it's pointless for people to try to change others. No one will change unless they want to.
Great piece :D

-Elissa

[Lost, n'MT]

I just finished this piece, and before I respond to the piece, I just wanted to say that it inspired me so much that I just wrote a "response" poem to this piece, and I hope you don't mind. I'll leave it at underneath my comments.

I found this piece to very powerful and very relatable. I feel the pain, the frustration, the anger, the feeling of not deserving any help, the what I feel is distrust and contempt toward humanity or perhaps just specific individuals whom have wronged and hurt you in some way... which I know we all can relate to in our own ways. The emotions expressed in this are haunting accurate to the point where it feels one just wishes to give up and treat from this world altogether. The ending is the best part IMO because it sums up the tone of this piece with a forceful dagger to heart as it just really hits home. I really enjoyed how you expressed yourself in this poem, and I hope that is cathartic to write. I also look forward to reading more of your writings as I catch and see the evolution of you writing over the years. I feel like these earlier works are still the foundation and building up to something really special as I assumed you've evolved and experienced much more since you wrote this piece back in 2010. It really speaks to me, so much so that I felt the need to write a poem in response to this.

I realize that you wrote this around 6 years ago, and the piece I wrote in response to this is a response to the 2010 version of you when you wrote this, I hope that you're in a much better place now.


"So Much To See"

Some do see you
Some see the good that you cannot see,
And some may wish to accept what you call your "real me"


Trust is to be earned instead of being given
Someone out there wants to know the real you
It's unfair to all, to assume what they will say and do.

People fear what they don't understand
Some of us have been to very dark places
And we too also wear our different faces

It goes beyond right and wrong
Concern is to be cherished
You have every right
What feels real, is not always true
Like thinking darkness cannot be filled with light

Somebody deserves a chance to know you
So is it fair to deny them?
Once you let go of their judgement, you will feel more alive
Their opportunity to grow hasn't yet arrived
But yours has come knocking and it's your chance to thrive.

We have no power to change anyone or anything except for our own ways
And you can use that power to overcome all the pain that you have felt
While still having others there to help, get you through those rough days

You have every right to choose who you want to be
I just hope you realize that there's so much good you have yet to see

[Kristen]

I saw this comment probably an hour after you posted it, but had no strength to come back and reply. Your response poem brought me to tears. First off, no one has ever written a response poem (to my knowledge): that s**t's for Robert Frost. Secondly, 6 years ago is yesterday to me. At least tonight it is. The scars have healed over and dreamed new dreams, but they will always be there. Hiding is my thing, or was my thing. I'm trying to overcome it, and I know that I will. Life's much too short to dwell on a subject such as this.

Just... wow. I can't get over the idea of someone being moved enough to write something in response to something I've written. It's so foreign to me. Thank you thank you and thank you again. I hope /you/ are in a better place than 1 day ago. That's all we can hope for.

[Lost, n'MT]

Honestly stunned it brought you to tears, I had seriously considered erasing out of fear it would scare you off. I honestly thought about for about two minutes and said just post it and see what happens, what's the worst that can happen. Totally surprised to hear it brought you to tears and moved you so much. I mean,it was emotional to write after reading your emotional piece but you never know how much you can really pick up from just reading words in a box on a page. I am glad you were able to feel the emotion behind it, and I glad I went with my gut instinct to hit post instead of overthinking like I tend to do. The Frost reference made me laugh, lol. I don't recall any response poems myself, but the closest I can think of would be the second rapper in a rap battle responding, but this would be the opposite side of that spectrum, clearly, lol.

I know what you mean, there's so many memories and instances where I can feel them as if they just happened and I'm right back in the moment. I've been hiding and isolating myself, and it's not a life but merely an existence that I wouldn't wish upon anyone. Although, I think you do learn to appreciate more during the struggles. I hope we're both able to overcome our desire to be invisible and hide.

I couldn't resist, I mean I almost deleted it but, I just felt so moved that I just impulsively responded and blindly clicked post with giving myself a chance to overthinking why it wouldn't be a good idea or helpful. I should really trust my gut instinct more often. I am definitely in a better place than the other day, thank you very much and you're very welcome. : )

[Frantzuu]

This is gorgeous, great descriptions, very well put together. :D

[VintageHottie]

I definately feel this way....
I liked how this is a description of the inside/real you. I enjoyed the way you seperated your stanzas as well.
Nice read!!