Chapter 1

I can’t do this, I just can’t. Every last piece of information I had crammed into my head these last few weeks has just disappeared. Now all I had left was a broken puzzle, missing all the pieces I needed. I need this, I need to pass. If I don’t then everything I have worked so hard for is wasted. All around me pencils are racing on the pages, everyone head down, too consumed by the questions. I dropped my pencil and as my clammy hands fumbled to reach for it I could feel my face burning up. Exams are really not my thing, Maths especially. I was fine back when it was just numbers but it’s all the letters and pi signs that confuse me. I wouldn’t be getting so worked up if I hadn’t of revised so much for this. I put my whole life on hold just to study and for what? Just to panic and forget it all when it mattered.
​Ollie looked up from his paper and caught my eye. He gave me one of his cute little smiles and he must of noticed how worked up I was because he was giving me the ‘Calm down it will all be okay’ look. This is why he is my best friend. He knows exactly the right things to do. He flipped over his exam booklet, allowing the back page of his paper to hang off the front of his desk. In the corner was a little cartoon smiley and underneath it said ‘You’ll do great, don’t worry’. Do you know what he’s right, I can do this. I don’t know whether it was because of his reassuring words or if it was because of his comforting smile but things were starting to make sense now. I gave him a little smile and then turned back to look at my paper. Rather than being fuzzy and jumbled like before, my eyes focused on the question. I could feel all the answers rush back into my head. Before I knew it I was scribbling them down and the puzzle rapidly became complete.

“You’re a lifesaver, thank you” I screamed at Ollie as he walked up to me after exiting the exam hall. He smiled and then hugged me. We must have hugged a thousand times before but this one felt different. It felt closer, tighter. It was like he was afraid to let go. A strange sensation formed in my stomach, something I wasn’t familiar with, a light tingling feeling. I was too worried about why I suddenly felt like this, I hadn’t realized how long we had been in this embrace. He must have come to the same realization as he quickly let me go and stepped back. I hastily looked around, checking if anyone else had noticed what had just happened but nobody seemed to. If they did then none of them cared. All I noticed was Maddie and Cassidy walking down the corridor towards us. Ollie gave them a quick wave then mentioned something about meeting Logan? He quickly rushed off in the opposite direction which I was slightly thankful for. I was not ready to talk about it.
​As if she had read my mind and deliberately ignored it, which wouldn’t be uncommon for her, Maddie ran up to me. “Erm Ami… What was all that about?”
“Nothing, he helped me out in the exam and then we hugged no big deal.” Technically I hadn’t lied, he did help me out and it was just a hug. I just left out the strange feelings and how different it felt. Maddie may be one of my closest friends but I was really not in the mood to bring it up. How could I expect her to understand when I hadn’t even figured it out myself? She and Cassidy exchanged suspicious glances. I knew they didn’t believe me but at the same time they weren’t about to question me either. Luckily the subject changed.
“So you both are coming to Eric’s party this Saturday?” Eric is Cassidy’s cousin and another of our friends. We have all been invited to Eric’s pool party this weekend which I’m particularly looking forward too, especially after today.
“Yes of course Cassy, do you think we’d miss that?” I said with a slight laugh.
“Yeah well if there is dancing, alcohol and cute guys in their swim trunks, you know I’ll be there” said Maddie admiring some of the boys walking past.
“Oi, what about Logan?” Cassidy questioned. Maddie’s smile dropped and her defensive mode kicked in.
“What about Logan? It’s been ages and nothing has happened so why do you expect it to now!” I decided it was probably for the best to change subject. Maddie has liked Logan for a long time. It went from a meaningless crush on a friend to something much more. It’s frustrating because i know he could feel the same way but neither of them will ever listen. As far as she’s aware she has no chance and should just give up.
“Have any of you got a free period?” I asked, trying to get off this topic. They both shook their heads. It looks like it’s just me then. I said my goodbyes and as I went to hug Maddie, I felt her whisper in my ear.
“Sweetie, you’re not fooling anyone, something happened earlier and you’re going to tell me. I’ll walk back with you later, we can talk then.” I knew she hadn’t dropped it. It was the last thing I wanted to do but I nodded and made my way to the Library.

​As I made my way into the Library and sat down on the only table that was partially free, there was only one thing on my mind. And he was sitting right in front of me. I looked up and sitting across from me was Ollie. He looked up and gave me a quick smile before returning his gaze to the book he seemed engulfed in. I grabbed my history book and pretending to read it as I subtlety studied him instead. Awkwardly I caught his stare, so I casually looked away. Going back to my book I could feel his eyes burning into my skin. His book didn’t seem so interesting now, did it? Several minutes later and he hadn’t seemed to look away once. I decided it was time to look up and as I did I could see his cheeks flush slightly pinker than normal.
“I was just..., I mean...” he stuttered as he tried to make sense of his sentence. He seemed to compose himself as he continued with “I had just never noticed how you bite the right corner of your lip when you think, or that you have a brown fleck in your left eye.” Looks like I wasn’t the only one doing some studying. He must have noticed what I was thinking as he quickly mumbled “I couldn’t help but notice.” I tried to give him a reassuring smile, as I could hear a trace of panic in his voice. Only to notice his eyes lock onto mine. “You have something on your cheek.” My hand fumbled onto my face trying to brush away whatever was there without my gaze leaving his. “Here, I’ll get it.” He leant over the small desk separating us. His face now inches away from mine. His warm breath against my neck sending what seemed like a million shivers down my spine. Our eyes not parting once. As his hand traced along my cheek, my skin tingled. His lips were just centimetres away from mine and I had an uncontrollable urge to unite them. He inched closer to me and I anticipated what was about to follow. A loud bang erupted from the table causing us both to jerk apart.
“Got it!” Ollie said overdramatically holding up a speck of makeup on his finger. I looked up to see Eric and Kyle had arrived at our table.
“Thanks” I muttered, smiling at the boys that were giving us a questionable look. They didn’t seem to have clicked to our previous situation but I left Ollie to continue the small talk with them. I don’t know about him, but I couldn’t stop replaying that moment in my mind. Making some excuse I made my goodbyes and rushed off only pausing to dart a quick look back. Ollie gave me one last glance before turning back to the guys. I really don’t know what just happened, but whatever it was, it probably wasn’t going to end well. Making my way to History I tried to put all these thoughts to the back of my mind. Only problem is it’s harder than I thought.

​I approached the classroom only to spot Maddie slumped against the wall. Her face was stained pink from previous tears and she had a worrying look on her face. “Mads, You okay?” I said nudging her. She jumped and wiped the depressed expression from her face, replacing it with a strong glare.
“Yes why wouldn’t I be?” she practically shouted with a harsh tone to her voice. She stormed into lesson leaving me with Cassidy who had just turned up.
“It’s Logan” she whispered. “She caught him with Ruby, and let’s just say she didn’t take it well.” Ruby was the pretentious b***h of the College. The ‘Brunette Barbie’ as she’s often called. Or ‘Local Bike’ as I prefer. It’s no surprise Logan got caught up with her. I just don’t understand Maddie, how she can pretend she doesn’t care when her tears say otherwise. Walking in to lesson you could see she was pissed, and there was no doubt about it.
​At least her drama took my mind off my own. Well that was before I noticed Oliver’s face poke through the door. He muttered something to the lecturer before stepping back outside. I sighed with relief and got back to my task, but not before looking over at Maddie. She seemed to be keeping herself composed, which was a start I guess. I must have sighed too soon as I was beckoned outside. Maybe I wasn’t so safe after all.
​“Ollie, why are you here? What’s happening? You’ve been acting so strange recently and I’m not sure how to feel about it anym-”
“-We were so close before, I just need to know” He blurted interrupting me before pressing his body against me, placing his lips on mine. Pinning me against the wall, he rested his hands on my waist. I could feel the passion racing through me, erupting through my veins. The only thing I could focus on was the softness of his lips and his heart throbbing against mine. The moment felt like it lasted a lifetime but before I knew it, he had released me from his grip and was heading in the opposite direction.
“Wait!” I shouted after him. “Needed to know what?”
​
Flustered and confused, I took a few moments to regain my breath before stumbling back into the classroom. Hopelessly trying to hide my face, which was still a similar shade of beetroot at the moment, I made my way back to my seat. Both Cassidy and Maddie seemed to have noticed and swivelled their chairs round to face me. Embarrassed I looked down at my paper and pretended to be catching up on the work I had just missed. Waiting until I gave it enough time, I decided it was probably safe to look up and luckily they seemed to have given up and got back on with their work. Or in Maddison’s case, back to having her head slumped down on the desk. Deciding to join her, I allowed my head to rest down against my arms on the cold, metal desk. I felt a cooling sensation against my inflamed cheeks which gave me slight relief. Yet nothing could cool what was going on in my head. Thankfully before I knew it the lesson had ended. I really needed to get out of here and get my head straight.