origami

i felt creative so i just started writing and this is the result. very rough draft. i think this came out of some difficult times both in my own life and in the lives of people close to me.

 

 

we are origami dreams.

folded reality;

the creases of worry lines

and sharp bends

around unforeseen corners,

shape our subconscious selves.

 

the crack and press of

god- sized fingers

on our souls

like a chiropractic’s skill,

straightening spines.

 

we hurt as we

learn how to stand

as our awkward angles

are artfully arranged.

 

in the end though,

our cracks and bent bits

become something beautiful.

 

our paper hearts

take flight.

Author's Note

remember, rough draft. be kind but honest. lol.

Reviews

[.]

. my goodness ... i still remember how someone had come from japan when i was in the fourth grade ... for an origami workshop ... but you took it to a whole new level ... i think origami artists would be overwhelmed to read this ... i am but a human ... what a brilliant poem this is ... yet, my favourite lines are ...

in the end though,

our cracks and bent bits

become something beautiful.



our paper hearts

take flight.

. so true ... and so beautifully said ... (and i loved the alliteration) ...

[Raef C. Boylan]

p.s. D'oh, just re-read serah's review and realised that what I said would f**k with the alliteration of that stanza. All the same, I think you're talented enough to be more than capable of simultaneously changing and preserving...

But it's all only a suggestion.

[Raef C. Boylan]

As much as I love "become something beautiful", I sense that your craftmanship with words can offer us an even more original way of saying this same thing.

Other than that, this piece struck me as perfect and finished.
Of course, as its poet, you know better than us. But I really like what you've done with this as an extended metaphor [/analogy?]; you've presented a fresh look at humanity in all its falws and wonder.
Pacing, rhythm and voice are great as always.

Thanks for sharing this with us on here.
Let me know if you make any changes?

[Sean Allen]

Wonderful concept, so happy that I took a look!