Ask For Perfection To Reach For Death

A Poem by rose with love

In the beginning, right after all the rest had ended,

My little broken heart and I were laying

On the floor, next to each other,

Wondering

In silence.

No words spoken,

Eyes not blinking,

Mouth not breathing,

Just wondering

Through time of the past.

Days had passed,

Soon weeks flew by,

Than months.

In silence we sat,

Just my little broken heart and I.

Silence began to feel heavy,

I was still unsteady

But couldn't stand no more

The white room, with no windows, no doors.

I did not try to shout

Only slid a word to my little still broken heart:

"Why?"

She did not answer.

Suddenly words broke loose into my head

Therefore, unto my lips

And in the end appeared to look like questions,

True, questions that I might not be supposed to mention.

Face to face now,

Just my little broken heart and I.

Was it me?

Was it my brain that could not comprehend the right things of life that make two bodies melt into each other?

Was it me that could not hear the calling?

Or was it him that failed singing?

Or maybe it was you,

My little broken heart,

Maybe it was you that forgot how to build a fire into someone's chest...

And so I kept on asking and answering to myself,

She did not want to...do anything.

And so my wings were gone with the wind,

Were gone so far I forgot how to live,

Forgot how to breathe among the others,

Forgot how to say I DO and when not to say

Or how to say I DON'T and when to say.

Constant battle,

Neutral life,

Neutral soul,

Neutral mind.

And so me and my little broken heart

Decided to create The Dream.

If only we knew we were not supposed to say I DO,

If only we knew it was not the right thing to do.

Our search began,

Fields of time passed us by,

No hands we held,

No lips we kissed,

The only right thing to do was shed our tears,

Shed the sorrow out.

What we did not know was our soul that fell out

When we sent the sorrow on another path.

They ran together and we did not try to stop them...

Just me and my little broken heart.

If we only knew what we know today,

What a life with no soul has to bear.

So we walked and walked,

Blind, we walked

But did not care

For we met a blue pair

Of eyes, like the sky and the ocean,

That seemed to mean no harm

For me and my little broken heart.

Soon, we had the hands to hold,

Lips to kiss

And so, we built, brick by brick,

The House of Dreams.

If only we knew what we know today

What a soul does when he is not there.

Me and my little heart

Built years of happiness,

Built a warm touch around his life.

We were building our dream.

What we did not know was that we were building The Dark.

We forgot we were blinded,

We forgot we had no soul,

We only let our imagination flow;

Made him dream for bigger dreams

That could not include us all.

I still had the brain

So I knew what Realizing meant.

I realized there was only fantasy,

There were only fake words and fake feelings coming out of me.

I realized the house of dreams I've build was nothing but a fun house,

There was no real Shakespeare between us.

I realized I was selfish thinking ME, MYSELF and I could have it all;

That I could have the love I lost,

I realized I could not play with such things as humans,

That I could not create the love

For love is the one who creates us.

So I backed off.

How did I realize?

How did I know that there was no love for me to show?

It was those three words that say "I LOVE YOU"

And his eyes that were looking for mine

While I,

Every time,

I was looking for the sky.

© 2011 rose with love

Author's Note

I THINK THERE'S TIMES WHEN YOU LOSE AND FEEL LOST THAT SIMPLY MAKES YOU NOT YOURSELF, TURNS YOU INTO YOUR BIGGEST ENEMY, MAKES YOU LOOK FOR VENGEANCE, NOT FOR THE ONES AROUND YOU BUT FOR YOUR OWN PERSON BY USING THE ONES AROUND YOU, MAKES YOU FORGET WHO YOU REALLY ARE, MAKES YOU FORGET WHAT OTHERS MIGHT WANT AND THAT IS NOT JUST ABOUT YOU.