In the dark

Old poem I wrote in high school

 

Raindrops trickle
Down the pitch-black sheet
Of a changing night
Echoed laughter
Runs in circles around us
As the world centers between
Chipped, green metal
And wooden benches
Merry go’ round again
Backwards in the rain
Dragging through the wind
To the times before
We had to care
I raise my eyes
To the cloud draped skies
As a song of worship
Tears through my lips
To dance out of tune
In the rain drenched night
I cry out to be seen in the dark
Even though I know
God never looked away

Reviews

[Travis Lawrence]

This is terrific, I really love the obscure imagery, "tears from lips" for example. Truly supurb for High School. I will definitely come back to this one. Thank you!

[Shelly Wiseberg]

Very nice, deep and emotional, remembering. Shelly

[Jason]

This brought me back. Very nice.

[James K. Blaylock]

Wow, I really loved the whole feel of this wonderful piece!

jkb

[~crazy Beautiful~]

ok, i felt like i wrote this one, lol
i write VERY similar to this
and obviously so i enjoyed it very much
thank you for entering my contest

[Blackbirdsong]

Another lovely write from you. This was wonderful from beginning to end; especially the end. That really touched me. You write with such reverance and elegance too. Well done.

[SM Davis]

The lonliness of "never being alone" has been captured well here. Well Done!

[1809 Black Plague Decem..]

I love the whole essence of the poem, especially because in the end you acknowledge the presence of God, watching over you, :P ---mishel