Divine Love

A long time have I been away,

Scurrying in the darkness of my mind,

Hiding from the light, from love!

 

A long time have I been lost,

Dwelling in the corners of my blackened heart

Hiding from the living, from life!

 

A long time have I been forgotten,

Wondering the corridors of my soul,

Hiding from the warmth, from Myself!

 

A long time have I been adrift,

Floating on the memories of my deeds,

Hiding from the truth, from judgement!

 

A long time have I been abandoned,

Searching for the way back home,

Hiding from the skeletons, from my past!

 

I have been lost to my own misery,

Wallowing in long forgotten sorrow,

Pulling on the chains that keep me down,

 

Keeping my face from divine light.

Imploding my soul!

To long has it been!

 

Set me free, I beg of thee!!

Break these chains! Wrap me up

Smother me with your love!

 

Turn me to light, let it burn the past off,

Let it crumble around my feet,

Let it give me life, or lead me to death!

Author's Note

Still trying to break out of my writers block, so please do bear with me.

Reviews

[Kaylor Mason]

This is good--it's a perfect double meaning. Not only does it describe the struggle to free ourselves from sin, severe depression and condemnation of our conscience, it also portrays the struggle every writer faces to overcome writer's block. Nicely done.

[Muse4apoem]

I think it's very captivating! :)

[DrumMajorPod]

"Smother me with your love" is a perfect line. Impressive! Thanks for sharing! I also noticed your repeated use of exclamation marks. I don't notice many exclamation marks in poems.. you used them really well, though. Great job!

[Mike Espinosa]

This is interesting. You captured an idea very well with this.

This is a personal thing, but I think it helps with the conciseness of the poem. "A long time have I been" sounds awkward to me. I'm sure it's grammatical in some sense, but it seems too long and clunky for my taste. I'd change it to "A long time I've been." You can still use it as a structuring device, I don't think it takes away any significance.

The last line of many of your beginning stanzas have the form "Verbing from X, from Y!" I think this should be broken into 2 likes: "Verbing from X, / from Y!" I think it reads a bit better in this way.

"To long has it been!" There's a small spelling error here. "To" should be "Too."

"Set me free, I beg of thee!!" I think you're going for a rhyming thing here, but it doesn't mesh with the rest of the poem well. Since you don't' use thine or any other Olde English words, I don't suggest using "thee." "I beg of you!!" works just as well.

Overall, this is a good start. Keep at it.

[J.Black]

The word divine always sticks out to me- so glad it brought me to this. Writers block? That's bs- this is wonderfully constructed.

[Katseye]

If this is writer's block can I have it? This is great.

[Bear]

WOW... this is incredible... did you "time-warp mind meld" with a past me? Not that I'm not very close to Bear Past but, Bear Present doesn't feel as lost, desperate, depressed, suicidal as the Bear Past I'm thnking 'bout. ;~)

I think you've punched a hole in that "writer's block"!! Keep on writing and the light will break through those pesky clouds.

[Jinx's Heart]

It was a lovely write. Very passionate and a feeling that many do feel. I admire the creativity in this poem. For someone who has a writer's block, this was very well done. :)