Release to love (sadness is)

English [Shakespearean] Sonnet

Whilst life has gifted love so sweet as thee,

entwined down deep into my very core,

what choice but that it shall eternal be …

your breath's become my breath ~ forevermore.

 

Alas, sad 'tis not I (I must now face)

whose heart and soul for whom thine hopes await;

for, my deep love shall ne'er fulfill his place;

'tis true, the way life now has formed my fate.

 

When then, the four soft winds, like sorrow's tide,

come steal your love from me eternally,

I know he'll be there with his arms stretched wide,

in just the way I'd be ~ if I were he.

 

Tho' my soul's bent, like shadows 'cross the land,

doth prove my love … by letting loose thy hand.

Richard W. Jenkins

©2015

Author's Note

Honest, critical, and constructive reviews preferred, please.

Reviews

[Ardra]

Alas, sad 'tis not I (I must now face)
whose heart and soul for whom thine hopes await;
for, my deep love shall ne'er fulfill his place;
'tis true, the way life now has formed my fate.


...I felt the sadness of wanting to hold on yet to let go to
let the loved one find true happiness...

[Richard🖌]

It is written that when you love someone enough to let them go, and that if it's a true love meant to be, they'll return unto your arms.

You understood it perfectly, Dear Ria … warmest thank you hugs! ⁓ Richard : )

[Angelheart1]

Well Richard, I can only give my Honest thoughts in review of this exquisite piece of Poetry, for there are no critical or constructive comments to be made.

Many years ago, I started out writing of pain, sadness and heartbreak for that was all I knew. After many tears I came to terms with what Life had intended for me and began writing in terms of Fantasy versus Reality. Though I no longer write of Love and Romance of the real world I can and still do APPRECIATE when others share their words and feelings through their writing, such as you've done.

Your words have touched me deeply - leaving a sadness within my heart for I too had to "let go" and move on to keep my own sanity ... for wanting/yearning for something that will never be can take so much away from the Life that we have been dealt. : (

Only a person who has "been there" could write such a beautifully sad piece of Poetry.

Warm and understanding hugs,
Angelheart

[Richard🖌]

Oh-Goodnes-ME!
Angel, as a lad I was always taught that real men don't cry … now, I'm not so sure about that anymore, because I am definitely a "real" man, and you just made my heart turn beneath my breast until my eyes brimmed-over.

How insightful and understanding you truly are to perceive all you have from my poem, but in feeling deep sincerity from your words, there came a sort of knowing … we are much alike.

I love well struck fantasy poetry, as yours is, with the stirring sensuality from your enthralling pen to bring it so very much alive … well, with such welcome warmth, let's say. You touched me, as I felt the embers of inner romance glowing through your fingers as they guided your pen. See? You've gotten me carried-away.

Please, come back for more. : )
I loved your "warm and understanding hugs" — just what I needed … thank you ever-so genuinely, Dear Lady-Poet! ⁓ Richard

[softlyfall]

I could feel this, and not only because of my synesthesia, though that enhances my reading of your poetry because the rhythms, meters, gentle ebb and flow of tempo...just superb.
For my 10th birthday I was given The Complete Works of Shakespeare, The Collected Works of Emily Dickinson and a box full of blank paper of myriad textures. These things have always been my deepest understanding of myself and of poetry and art.
You are a master of classical form.
As for the content, traditional romantic but with all the artistry of a pre raphaelite painter.

[Richard🖌]

Hi, Amy! : )
It is wonderful to find you've been here.

How beautiful it is that we've touched through the emotional fervor of your synesthesia (such a deeply meaningful word) and my poetry, and to receive your gratifying praise truly inspires and encourages my ink to warm and flow.

Such is the moment of your emotion-blended accolades I'm swept-up in them, not in an unappealing way, especially with the sensation of gentle knowing from sharing your earlier days in learning the essence of poetry. It is no wonder you are such an accomplished artist.

A blush overtook me a couple of times while enjoying your beautiful review.
You are, indeed, a lovely lady, who knows how to please a bard.
Thank you ever-so warmly, Amy! ⁓ Richard

[terry smith]

very nice...if you wish for criticism ...i would say arms out-stretched wide..that's all i have for you,because this is very good !

[Richard🖌]

Thank you so very much, Terry, for selecting this piece to read and critique, for your praise and approval … I am honored, My Friend.

I very much like your suggestion, Terry … let's consider how it might work iambically:

"When then, the four soft winds, like sorrow's tide,
come steal your love from me eternally,
I know he'll be there with his arms stretched wide,
(i KNOW he'll BE there WITH his ARMS OUT-stretched WIDE)
in just the way I'd be ~ if I were he."

Well, as much as you and I like it, it is out of iambic beat and casts the line one syllable longer than the required ten for the English Sonnet. I would loved to have used it. Perhaps, I'll try in it a different form of verse, and let you know when I do.

Thank you sincerely for your excellent suggestion, Terry, and for gracing my pages … blessings to you, My Fine FriendI ⁓ Richard

[terry smith]

how about....I know he'll be there with arms out-stretched wide...:)

[Richard🖌]

Well, Terry, "ARMS out-STRETCHED WIDE" or "ARMS OUT-stretched WIDE" (either way) is still out of iambic beat.
The "iambic pentameter" beat/tempo/meter of the English Sonnet is what makes it such a tremendously challenging form to learn and master, and if you'd like, I can copy you on my lesson used when teaching this amazing form to my students.
Thanks again, for your excellent suggestion! ⁓ Richard

[terry smith]

yes please do i would love to try it :)

[Richard🖌]

I'll just send the entire lesson on The English Sonnet … hope you will learn this Roll Royce form of poetry, Terry … I know your Sonnets would be enthralling, and I'll be here to help when (if) needed.
Will, send posthaste!

[terry smith]

thank you so much!!

[Richard🖌]

Always, it my pleasure and honor to share with my fellow-poets, Terry … you are so very welcome, My friend! ⁓ RJ

[Tales Of A Dreamer]

Indeed, the poem portrayed sadness; yet I felt some sort of contentment.
As if, when you let your lover go into the arms of someone else- all you really want is for them to be happy.
Bittersweet? Quite touching, it's lovely.

[Richard🖌]

I do not know how I've missed your excellent review for all this time, but I should have my butt kicked for not finding ii and responding for you sooner … mia culpa, please, forgive!

Howe truly insightful you are to sense the sad contentment, sad joy to see her find love and happiness, even if it meant losing mine, but why now, when I could not be what she wanted and needed?

"Bittersweet" is a word not used enough in life and in poetry … than k you for using it so appropriately in recognizing my own sadness that composed this little English Sonnet, even though it came from my life's observances and fertile imagination.
I so often wish I could something worthwhile from my personal relationship, but truthfully, I'm a rather lackluster guy … er, sorry!

Thank you so sincerely for reading and reviewing my poetry … brightest blessings to you! ⁓ Richard

[Nadia B.]

Classical, how I have missed the touch of shakespeare in newly written poems, what wonder to find it here in your words! The depth of knowledge, the emotion hung on the sleeve for all to see, no curtains, no barriers, just pure transparent, what it means to be! Absolutely wonderful poem, thanks for sharing, please keep writing! The a,b,a,b rhythm does add a ballads hand but this only helps to mirror the sad sobbing tales of the man in the bar drowning himself in stale drink and thoughts of a lost love. You have captured a shakespearean woe of a love triangle that man still weeps for to this day. Honestly from the bottom of my heart thank you for not referring to it as being in the friend zone! Also your use of punctuation adds clarity, a unique texture to the text, and makes it so much easier to live as well as read. I also enjoyed the foreshadowing of the stanza's. The first three stanza's standing apart as the three lovers being spoken of, the triangle, and the last two sentences indicating how the one stanza has broken off, leaving two reciprocated lovers to enjoy what they have found in each other. Stunning!

[Richard🖌]

Brilliant, Nadia …
the way you seem to glide like silk on a soft summer's breeze through every nuance of this humble little English [Shakespearean] Sonnet, and how your words (themselves a poem) ignite the flame of joyful appreciation in all its facets, combined with yours, to make this truly bountiful sharing of poetic pleasure.
How may I find the words to adequately express how gratefully indebted I am to thee? I do not know, except to blush in my every fiber.

I (somehow) knew you'd find favor in this one.
Paint me melted – I love your review … my warmest hugs, Nadia! ~ Richard

[Richard Guimond]

good but slightly too lyric for me

[Richard🖌]

LOL!
I know just what you mean, Richard … it's one of my attempts to write in every style and genré, this (sort of) in the King's language – a bit syrupy, I'd call it!
Thanks, my friend, for the read and honest comments … I'll drop by to see you soon!
Thanks again! ~ Rascal

[jeannemarie coulter]

an excellent penning...thank you for the thoughtful read....

[Richard🖌]

Thank you ever-so warmly, dear lady-poet, for selecting one of my humble little piece to read, and for your lovely praise … so encouraging!

Hugs 'n blessings! ~ Richard

[Nerf]

The ability to let go and wish well from the heart. I love the words, the concept and the delivery. I think the olive text takes away from the heartfelt emotion of the text for I percieve the color to be more morose. All personal opinion. Great poem, one of my favorites on here!

[Richard🖌]

Hi, my new friend!
How very correct you are, Nerf … color has much to do with the mind's-eye's mood, and definitely effects how one's poetry is perceived.
I was able to change the color to a more peaceful easy feeling … let me know if it is better, or suggest one you feel will best suit this piece.
Many thanks, Nerf, for the honest review, reminder of proper color scheme, for your keen grasp of this piece, and for the inspiring praise and huge compliment.
A thousand thanks! ~ Richard

[Richard🖌]

Hey, Nerf!
How's the color now, my friend?

[Nerf]

You've done it sweet friend, you've given your piece a presentation fit for the words it houses

[Richard🖌]

Thumb-up thanks, Nerf!

[ANTO]

I wish I could write these with such loving sentiment. The whole poem builds up to that final line where the hands part - breathtaking

[Richard🖌]

Anto,
Seldom do my efforts receive such praise and expressed appreciation… and I cannot thank you enough for reading this sad little piece … blessings, my new friend! ~ Richard

[ANTO]

My best friend on here years ago was an amazing sonnet writer. Her words could turn me to jello/jelly. I have always admired the form and those who write them. You were always onto a winner with me Richard, my friend ;)

[Richard🖌]

Thanks again … what was her name?
I am familiar with most of the real Sonneteers on the poetry sites.
Do you know if she left any of her sonnets onsite, as I love reading good Sonnets.

[Richard🖌]

Have you written any Sonnets?
I've just been working with a good poet on here, Matavelli, on the Sonnet, and he's a whiz.

[ANTO]

Matavelli - ahh - will have a look - thank you
The sonneteer went by the pseudonym of SyberRose - her profile is closed while she works on her novel.

[ANTO]

I found this which ironically I wrote for Rose


A Sonnet for SyberRose
A Poem by ANTO
" An unashamed rip-off of Shakespeare's sonnet No.18 "
Shall I compare Rose to Summer bouquet?
She art more dazzling and more pleasing:
Dust and time upon a poesy's petals play,
And susceptible to extremes of heat and freezing:
Oft Some arrangement styles delight us less,
Subjective or individually aimed:
With resilience not primed for stress,
Rough trimming leave them dried and maimed:
But SyberRose doth improve with age,
Her flavors and her tastes accrued:
Delighting all with such romantic page,
As 'Scarlet winds','Blue jean sky' and 'Would you?'
So long as Internet does thrive and words transmit electronically
So long lives this, a testament, and this gives life to thee.

[Richard🖌]

Ah, not a rose I know by this name (pun intended), Anto … shame she closed her profile, but I hope she returns soon.

[Richard🖌]

Ah,
A very lovely and romantic poem from your gifted pen, and I can only imagine how wonderfully scintillating she found it to be.

Good stuff, Poet, good, indeed!
Thanks for sharing! ~ Richard

[ANTO]

That was my first and last. lol
Good to meet you Richard

[Richard🖌]

Same here, Anto.