Flying Variations

done for j.r.'s contest

Flying Variations

 

sevenling i

a flash of white, a smear of red, a ballet of black
across the sherbet morning sky:
mockingbird, cardinal, crow aflight,

sailing through the smog of dispersed clouds.
the sun peeks over the horizon, the moon lies late,  
and the worms burrow deep into the polluted earth.

the crack of glass, a neck broken.


sevenling ii

3, 2, 1…
lift off!
breaking the atmosphere in metal and fire

1, 2, 3…
the measured heartbeats of a condor
sailing thermals struck with solar light

great strides in aviation


sevenling iii

angel wings glide through celestial planes,
brush ascending souls,
bestow god's grace with a single white feather.

unearthly beings of ancient name: gabriel, michael, raphael,
heaven's eagles, pure and righteous,
cutting the sky with a sword and scepter.  

a warrior's cry breaks out --


sevenling iv

an untouchable sensation
freedom only a word
the boneless kiss of dry air

heat
ache
heartache

a completion of being

Reviews

[Devons]

Sylph-like imagery of nature in differing forms drifts analogously between harsher ("the crack of glass, a neck broken".."breaking the atmosphere in metal and fire"), and more mechanical and brutal evocations of life. This poem is a subtly abstract depiction of all that its title infers. And by seeing and feeling these implied visions, both the contrast and similarities are recognised somehow spiritually. It's hard to pin-down but the impression is there all the same. The last verse, for example, is an enigma in itself: but one which has a conglomerate feeling within it, and "a completion of being" seems to me to evoke all finally of this ambivalent and ambiguous 'sense' of life that the poem as a whole is conveying.
The descriptive and spiritual elements of this writing are I think what makes it a success in terms of poetry; raising it above the usual cryptic abstract form.
There is a certain ethereal intelligence in how this is made, and for me the phrase "a ballet of black" justifies this work's existence on its own.

[Jenny Nelson]

Wow. Very intriguing. Beautiful imagery. Awesome feel. Wonderfully done!

[James Paulin]

Remarkably creative and ethereal yet easy to comprehend. You have eluded gravity with pen in hand.

[Ed Hart]

you are not afraid to reach across the play of words to bring forth your flight toward freedom...imaginative, brave, well done

[Antonio Valentino]

Oh Sara, you had me at, "across the sherbet morning sky"

and then just poured it on with, "the boneless kiss of dry air"

The poem as a whole was a delight, but those two lines alone, were more then worth the price of admission!

Wonderful my friend!
Antonio xx