Chaos

Chaos embroiders the world on a daily basis; it somehow manages to creep into our lives like a newborn snake, slowly and deadly. Most of us consider Chaos to be blood melting pink in the snow, mass hysteria; people running and screaming, bodies lying twisted on the floor of the pavement. But, it has another definition too. Chaos can also be when you lose all sense of yourself, when you're not in control of your own life, your own body, your own actions, what you think or do. When you feel powerless, empty inside.

-Kristen Wallen

Author's Note

Guys, I wasn't asking for constructive criticism. I really don't even think it needs editing. I used this for an opening on this autobiography thing I wrote on another site. This is a poem that I was proud of then, still proud of now. If I change the format, I think I'll just hate it. So, I wont. And, I know, it doesn't flow like a poem. But it's still that: A poem. I've had this for awhile now and when I'm proud of something, I don't change it. But thanks, anyways. [:

Reviews

[EverEmma]

This is more like prose. To enhance it's poem like qualities, change the format. It'll help it flow a eensey teensey little bit. This would be a great prologue to a story about self destruction, eating disorders, cutting, or depression. It is slightly spiritual, good but it needs some work. Keep editing!

-EverEmma

[Bridget Mcmaken]

I dont think you should change anything. It sounds good. You have every right to be proud, this is great work! very nice job.
~Bridget~

[Kelly Taylor]

I don't think it needs changing. I think it's very true, and the fragmented sentences create minor chaos in itself.

[Legion]

Poem or prose. Depends on what one sees it as. It is a good message though.

[~Z]

I really don't think it needs changing and don't see why. *cunfuzzled*

~Z

[Cassiopia Summers]

I feel ya. I like it the way it is, it fits. And I follow it, It's touching. I have been touched, Great work.:)

[Gianna Perry]

You should be proud of this. It's powerful, meaningful, and overall an excellent piece of work.

[EverEmma]

Also this has a very powerful message. Work with that idea, let it grow in to something fantastic. :)

-EverEmma

[Alex Thomas]

It's good that you show both sides of chaos. Doesn't flow like a poem much. An excellent piece though.