nostalgia and pain

a frantic head-wagger and . . . IT RHYMES! lol!

so I’m staring at stale pictures

with my mind in disarray.

just drinking a harsh mixture:

cold success and hot decay.

 

oh, the way becomes a question,

and the truth; a foreign dream.

all the answers are confessions

of hard trips to sick extremes.

 

I keep screaming out a love song,

but it echoes requiem.

this duality is so strong,

it rings like a battle hymn.

 

I am swimming in confusion

as I’m marching off to war

with an army of illusions

and a tired old rusty Ford.

 

now my sword is fairly flaccid,

and my breath is rather short.

angry words burn me like acid,

and I’ve lost my thirst for sport.

 

my cracked face is faded talcum,

and my hope is cloaked in dread.

I must close this dusty album,

put it back under my bed.

 

all this splashing and rehashing

has wrought havoc in my head.

I should halt this mental thrashing,

and just drink until it’s dead.

Author's Note

I'm not usually a rhymer...but sometimes the lines feel fine in rhymes and I lap with the swine at the old rhythmic shrine and we grind out the feelings as we're dealing with this life and the music and the lyrics and the beer get me right.

Reviews

[Bubo]

You certainly capture that torment that drives us mad......such a fabulous flow throughout and the last verse perfect. You are an outstanding writer, full of emotion, loved it.

all this splashing and rehashing
has wrought havoc in my head.
I should halt this mental thrashing,
and just drink until it’s dead.

[Michael X]

wow, this poem captures the reader, its old time classic approach
and mix od duality works wonders here, subtle in starkness, brilliant job

[Looouise]

One point of criticism: Use capital letters at the beginning of words after you've used a full stop. Namely, every First and third lines of the stanzas.

Aside for that, I really enjoyed reading this poem. The rhyme scheme really just helped with the flow and kind of helped to give emphasis on everything.

I think the last stanza was my favourite, just because it just sums up everything in such a perfect way. I love your word choices. :] And most of all, I love the last two lines - they pretty much give the aid to getting rid of the nostalgia. :]

Tis a nice write. :]

[Crowley]

You have beer....come on man, help a brother out. I like this alot, in fact, I like all of your stuff alot, I am officially training my #1 Fan on you, turning it on high and letting it blow your sweet words around the room. The rhyming worked pretty well in this, but its the odd images and harsh lines that you evoke that make your writing so edgy and fabulous. Keep it up.