First Name: Smooth, Last Name: B

Cadillacs work odd hours.  Mostly at night.  They are self employed and set their own schedule.  Iceberg was typical.  The workday ended just before sunrise and the next one began whenever he felt like getting out of bed.  

There was one predictable part of Iceberg’s week.  Monday Night Football.  He was a diehard fan and never missed a Monday game.   The girls were on “automatic” while he watched TV.  Which meant they still had to pay him his cut, even though he wasn’t on the street, keeping an eye out for them.

Iceberg liked his rum.  Sassafras told Janus, “Monday nights are the best for his sallies, if his team wins and he drinks enough to pass out.  And the worst, if they lose and he drinks enough to be violent.”

It was just before kickoff one Monday when Iceberg’s phone rang.  It was Sassafras.  She’d turned a trick for a john who’d made a ton of cash on a stock deal.  He’d been celebrating.  He was so impressed with her services that he tipped her an extra $300.  

That was just a cover story.  Janus had given Sassafras the money.

According to Iceberg’s rules, the sallies had to split tips 50/50 with him.  When she mentioned the location of her next “date”, which happened to be near Iceberg’s apartment, he told her to stop by first and pay up.

She got there just after kickoff.  Iceberg planted his butt back in his chair as soon as he let her in the door.  Football was the one thing that might be as important to him as money.

He ignored the game for a moment, when she pulled the wad of twenties out of her purse and handed it to him.   He grinned and said, “That’s what I’m talking about.”  Then his eyes focused back on the game.  

He said, “Sure, whatever” when Sassafras asked, “I’ve got a few minutes before my date, mind if I mix up a rum and coke?”

The kitchen was just a few feet from the TV in the tiny apartment.  But Iceberg only had eyes for the game.  He had no idea Sassafras poured a vial of GHB into the bottle of rum after she mixed her drink.

Gamma-Hydroxybutyric acid is a central nervous system depressant and is known as Liquid X on the street.  In low doses it produces euphoria.  It is popular at raves.  Larger doses cause unconsciousness.  GHB is also used as a date rape drug.

Sassafras sat on the couch, sipped her drink and waited for the right moment, when Iceberg was distracted.  The man jumped out of his chair after the quarterback threw an interception.  While he screamed at the TV, she slipped something thin between the sofa cushions.  

The device was about the size of two credit cards.  It was a tiny radio station.  It had a microphone, a battery, and a transmitter.  Just powerful enough to broadcast a signal to Janus and Eddie.  They were in a van, parked outside of the apartment.

Iceberg barely noticed when Sassafras finished her drink and said, “Well I’m on my way.”

To the men listening in the van, her voice was thin and distant.  But the weak radio signal would serve its purpose.  Janus and Eddie waited.  From the TV, they could hear the roar of the crowd and the voices of the announcers.  The game wasn’t going Iceberg’s way and they heard him cussing out the players and giving the coaches advice.

The chair Iceberg sat in was old and made a squeaking sound every time he got up or sat down.  He was either going to the bathroom to pee, or going to the kitchen, to mix another drink.   Iceberg’s voice began to slur noticeably when he shouted at the game.  Before the clock wound down to zero, the men in the van heard snoring.

Eddie counted snores and looked at his watch.  As the rum and the GHB coursed through Iceberg’s intestines and liver, and finally into his blood, his breathing gradually slowed down.  After another 20 minutes, the snores were noticeably farther apart, and softer.  The drug was peaking.

Janus told Eddie to wait in the van.  He had a jimmy bar under his jacket if he needed it, but Iceberg had not locked the door when Sassafras left.  He walked in the apartment.

The jimmy bar was heavy enough serve as a weapon in the event Iceberg wasn’t as sedated as expected.  He was.  Janus lifted the man’s arms and let them drop.  No response.  He slapped the man across the face.  Nothing.  

Janus dialed Eddie on his phone and said, “We’re ready.”  They wrestled Iceberg into the wheelchair Eddie brought in and secured his arms and legs with duct tape.  They draped a blanket over him, then hauled him to the van.

They pulled into a vacant building a few miles away.  The out of business auto parts store had a loading bay in back, big enough to drive into.  

It was hard to predict how long Iceberg would be out.  By itself, the GHB would keep him down for one to three hours.  He’d also drank quite a bit of alcohol.  That could add significantly to the effect.  

Regardless, the plan called for keeping the man out cold until at least 9 a.m.  In the event he began to wake up too early, Janus had obtained a bottle of chloroform, from a pharmacist that owed him money.  

A google search had quickly revealed a convenient way to administer the anesthetic agent.  Buy a dust mask at a hardware store, pour a teaspoon of chloroform into it, place it over the victim’s face.

Janus checked his watch.  It was 1 a.m.  The plan was to leave Iceberg in the wheelchair, in the van, until go time.  Today was May 5th. Cinco De Mayo.  In eight hours, an all day celebration would begin, in a park down the street.  There would be bands, food, and a parade.  Iceberg didn’t know it, but he was going to be part of the entertainment.    

Eddie set his phone to alarm at 5 a.m. and curled up on an air mattress.  He’d get some sleep while Janus kept an eye on Iceberg.  When Eddie awoke, the men traded places.  Janus told him,  “He’s been sleeping like a champ.  I didn’t even think about gassing him.”

When the buzzing sound woke Janus at 8, Eddie said, “I’ve had to hit him with the chloroform twice.  He moved around a bit and opened his eyes a few times, but he didn’t look like he was really awake.  After I gave him the chloroform, he was back asleep in 30 seconds.”

Janus walked down the street, to the park.  Vendors were setting up their food trucks.  Technicians sound checked the microphones on a stage.  People were filtering in, carrying coolers and folding chairs.  The festivities would begin soon.

He checked the side road, which also had an entrance to the park.  Where Iceberg would join the party.  There was a row of parking spaces on the street.  Sassafras had arrived early.  Her car was holding a spot for the van.  

She was waiting just inside the entrance.  With her were five girls from Janus’s stable.  They would play an important role in today’s plan.  

Dakota will be Iceberg’s co-star.  Tiffany, Jasmine, Luna, and Mercedes will have a much easier job.  All they have to do is block people’s view.

Janus told the ladies the plan was on target.  He would text when they were on the way.  He picked up some biscuits and coffee on the way back.

By the time Janus and Eddie finished breakfast, Iceberg was showing signs of coming out of it.  Sassafras had sent Janus a text.  Park is filling up.  Janus and Eddie cut off the duct tape from Iceberg’s arms and legs, and got him dressed for his performance.  In addition to the VR headset, he would be wearing sex slave S&M gear when he made his debut at the Cinco de Mayo festival.

Janus replied to Sassafras: On the way.  He looked at Eddie and said, “Let’s do this.”

Eddie strapped the VR equipment to Iceberg’s head.  He would control everything Iceberg would see and hear.  He powered the system up.  Janus drove the van onto the street and headed to the park. 

Janus parked in the same spot as Sassafras pulled her car out.  Before she went to the park that morning, she’d stopped by Iceberg’s apartment and planted some S&M magazines and the boxes for the VR equipment in his closet.  Later, when he told the police he had no idea what was going on, he would agree to let them search his apartment.  They didn’t buy his story.

Now, Sassafras was done with her part.  She headed to the safe house Janus had secured.  She was the one person Iceberg might suspect was involved, and would need to lay low for a while.