Laughing at you.

I'm waking up in a living hell,
Yet still I laugh out loud,
At the feeble bars of this cell.
Your illusions are no more,
Your smoke effects and mirror,
Are the play things of the poor.
You can no longer hold me,
No matter what you say,
No matter what you show me.
The bass is in my bones,
And your prison vibes,
Can't resonate with my tone.
So I'm breaking down the prisons door,
Waving goodbye,
You wont see my face any more.
Even beaten and bruised,
Knocked off my feet,
You couldn't hold me,
My destiny is mine to choose.

Reviews

[Aethereal]

With some polishing this poem would be perfect. Let me show you something: Which two couplets sound better when read:

So I'm breaking down the door ( Does he have you locked in? )
You won't see my face no more ( This is a double negative. )
or
Watch me as I slam the door
You won't see me any more.

[Eryn ♪]

Thanks for the advice, I have fixed those two up a bit.

[Aethereal]

Yes, I see, those two lines are much better now. Have a great day!

[Eryn ♪]

you as well

[Lucy Morningstar &heart..]

this is amaztasticawesomenificent! lol its flows really really well and i love the word choices here :D

you done good, ginge, you done good.