Sisters

In honor of the best sisters ever

 

talking and teasing

when we're supposed to be working

telling stories

true and imaginary.

when we're laughing

we can't breathe.

 

reading books

or taking walks in green woods.

discussing doctrine

bible verses, and life.

through it all

finding balance.

 

staying up late

sharing secrets and chatting about boys.

leaning on our elbows

on the bed

our feet in the air,

till we start to yawn.

 

an unbeatable team

with unconditional love

true friends

to the end

fighting each others' fights

and always there when it counts.

Reviews

[Céce]

LOVED IT! Keep this forever...show it to your kids when you grow up...or I will, lol. I wish everyone had the relationship that us four sisters have.

Most of all I remember laughing in the kitchen, doing chores, and making up "funny stories" for ya'll....me making everyone laugh till they were choking on their food and making water come out their noses!

And the boy talks....we still have those every other evening, lol. I love those.

I LOVE THIS!!! You're the best, sis. :)

[Wildecat]

This is a wonderful tribute to your sister whatever her name is lol. Nice write Renae.

[Honeypot]

I had to read this when I saw the title. It seems like you were thinking back fondly of days gone by? My favorite stanza was the third one. That one came to life to me and I could see little girls giggling and little toes wiggling. Being an older sister myself, I loved it!

[[untitled]]

This has almost a Petrarchan feel about it in the way that you describe your sister, kind of like singing the praises of an idealized person almost too perfect to even be considered human. That's not bad, of course, it's just a particular style. Or at least that is what I thought of while reading it. Are you familiar with Petrarch? If you take any British literature in college, you will without a doubt. lol. You know, as a good contrast exercise, if you're interested, try writing another poem where you include information about times when it's not as good with your sister. Sisters fight and get angry at each other too, surely it's happened with you. It's a good exercise in writing various emotions and feelings, and it's really good practice for a writer, especially a writer of poetry.

Stanza one, line two: comma at the end. Stanza two, line five: comma. Same with stanza three, line four. Stanza four, line two: period. Stanza four, line four: hyphen or a period.
Here's the thing about poetry, which you might already know - punctuation is important --UNLESS there is a meaning or intention behind not having punctuation. In poetry, even in the lines and the shapes that the stanza's create can convey some kind of meaning. For instance, a poem about pain might be written in a way so that the body of the text forms a tear drop, etc. So, when I say that you need punctuation, only take the advice if you have no intended meaning behind not having punctuation. If there is meaning behind the absence, disregard my suggestions. Poetry is kind of funny that way, in the way that everything can have some profound impact on the meaning of a poem. Also, I'm not an expert on poetry, I am geared more towards fiction and prose, so take my suggestions at face value. My reviews are just suggestions and thoughts and my reactions to what I've read that are limited to what I know thus far about the craft of poetry.

Overall, it's a good poem. I like that you express the everyday shared experiences that makes it easy for the reader to understand or relate to.