Will

ATTENTION: Vasts amounts of editing ahead. Enter with caution.

I break the eerie silence with the sound of snapping twigs beneath my feet as I trample over the trodden forest floor. It is soon accompanied by the hushed song of crickets, hidden behind the lush greenery. The last rays of sun shine through the dense evergreen branches. The path meanders through the bush; a labyrinth of trees.* I continue on until the wood opens up, the shrubbery coming to an abrupt halt.**

No longer am I surrounded by the rich greens of the forest. Instead, I stand enshrouded by a choking smog, trees burnt to a crisp at my feet. The air becomes cold, thick with anxiety.

I fight the urge to turn back, flee. But I'm almost there. Only one more step and the pain... the pain will go with me. I stay put, my feet planted firmly on the ash covered ground. The dark grey smoke clears, disappearing in wisps***. It reveals a blue sky dappled with fluffy**** white clouds. There are rolling hills in the distance, dipping in and out of the horizon. The sun is nudged comfortably between two bumps far off in the distance*****. Yellows mix with intense oranges, fading to a soft pink in a marvelous blend of colours flooding the magnificent navy blue sky.

I hear a voice. It's soft; coming from afar. The wind flicks golden strands of hair into my face and****** I brush it away. Once more there's a sound and once more I ignore it, let it drift away in the breeze.

I shift on my feet, knocking a pebble that had been loosely lodged into the infertile soil. Staring after it as it plummets from the cliff I think to myself, Soon. Soon it will all be over.

One last time I gaze around me, looking over my surroundings. A large bird is perched on a tree branch, safely nestled in its green leaves before the dead forest. His stare is challenging me, he doesn't believe I can - or shall - do it.

And with the certainty

and the will 

of that bird in the tree,*******

I take my last step,

Finally I am free

* I'm not really sure if this sentence makes sense :P

** This one either :)

*** I kind of want a personification here. Any suggestions?

**** Any other words? Something that sounds any better?

***** Already used this word in the sentence before and the thesaurus isn't helping. Please help :)

****** Should I use 'and' or should I separate it with a comma?

******* Commas? no commas?

Author's Note

I'm so sorry about all the asterisk-es. :P Anyway, as you can see, I need help. Please give comments that will help me improve this piece. Of course I love all reviews, but those I'll specially appreciate. :)

Reviews

[BLBrown]

A couple quick thoughts...I don't know why this is happening? It helps when you turn this into a short story to tell the reader up front why this is happening...not just what is happening. Why would she kill herself? What makes her life so terrible? One should feel sad and compassionate, but I don't know why so I can't...I just feel horrible that she has done this. That's my initial reaction.

[that-little-green-monst..]

I think you did a great job with this. I think you did a great job with the ending! I like the line "The path meanders through the bush; a labyrinth of trees."