Rain

Rain

A Poem by BlueEyes
"

I like the sound of the word "tepid."

"

Tepid rain falls

and the desert comes alive

colors beneath

arise thirsty

blooming upon the sand

The desert witch

with her bells

dance a spell

dance a story

dance for the creation

springing forth from the cracks

as the tepid rain falls

and the desert comes alive

© 2011 BlueEyes


Author's Note

BlueEyes
Critiques are welcomed and appreciated!

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Featured Review

I love how you conveyed the desert coming to life as it drank in the rain, soaking in every drop, all the desert animal popped into the scene you painted for me and they were enjoying the rain, soaking in the refreshment, grateful for the tepid rain.
Beautiful.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Cute cool rain the smell is aw some..

Posted 12 Years Ago


Usually I do my best to nit pick and find errors that many overlook, but I have yet to find one in this poem-- and a great first poem it is, I say. The scenery is flawless, but the desert witch is what really changes the course of the poem, making it ever so meaningful. I would really liked it better if you had elaborated the connection the witch has with desert and perhaps the story she tells; unless the story IS the creation of the desert. "Colors beneath arise thirsty," very artsy and abstract, but the meaning isn't very clear, if there is one at all. Thank you for sharing.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I like the linking of the first and last two lines. Interesting imagery of the desert witch! Well done.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This is amazing but first and totally not on topic but nice parrots HAHA but yes this poem is great. Good visualization and everything so thanks are in order and I thank you for a wonderful poem.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Makes me think of flowers in the desert...
Odd, I know.
Nice poem

Posted 12 Years Ago


I love how you conveyed the desert coming to life as it drank in the rain, soaking in every drop, all the desert animal popped into the scene you painted for me and they were enjoying the rain, soaking in the refreshment, grateful for the tepid rain.
Beautiful.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Nice imagery here!

Posted 12 Years Ago


By your photo, you appear merely in your teens, and that makes this remarkable verse the more so, to evince such subtlety and sophistication from the pen of one so young! I can hardly wait to read more, and, of course, I invite you to do likewise!

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I love how you wrote this poem with a few words but i can still see the picture. great job!

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

i love that such a clear picture can be seen with a relatively short poem. i also love that you have used metaphors to make the real surreal! very good poem.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on October 11, 2011
Last Updated on October 11, 2011

Author

BlueEyes
BlueEyes

Santa Barbara, CA



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