Wonder Lust

You left me breathless

when you asked,

“Do you like my

necklace?,” as

you escalated your

fingers down from

your left collar

bone towards your cleavage.

The center piece...

Heart exceeding because

a dose of you is

extremely needed!

Please my dear, I’m

in dire need

of O D-ing!

Reviews

[SleeplessVolcano]

Lovely write! Can sense the passion between the lines...

However, I'm not sure whether "escalate" is the right word for what the fingers did......yes, maybe the situation escalated.......and that is quite a pivotal verb in the poem.....so I cannot suggest an alternative, but that's what I got in my first reading.....

Towards the end of the poem, it got a "rap" vibe, where my feet started to tap, but then it stopped.....as if there was more to come....

Great work!

[sinNsincerity]

Escalate as in an escalator. They go up as well as down. Hence her fingers moving downward.
That pretty sweet that you got that vibe. I just used rhythm and pace.
But I stopped it short.
That's part of the seduction.
Always leave them wanting more.

[ranscan]

This piece giggles and staggers to its own satisfaction, yet the fight between punctuation and rhyme is a bit of a distraction. The direction of escalation and its imagery is strong in thought, but the lines surrounding the idea of center and heart could be clearer wrought. There are here in nestled lovely blossoms of poetic bliss, it could have great contentions to be more than a near kiss.

[sinNsincerity]

Maybe it that is what it was meant to be? Nothing more than a near Kiss...

[girly]

Oh that was a beautiful poem :*
You did a great job

[sinNsincerity]

Thank you, I appreciate that.

[Polly]

Aw! This is, in my opinion, the cutest poem I've read on this website so far. It really put a smile on my face, and you described 'lust' perfectly. Good job! :)

[sinNsincerity]

Why thank you Polly, I just try to describe the snapshot as close as possible and make it interesting as well.

[Polly]

Haha, that's good.

[Asante]

Women can be drugs can be women. It's something I say on occasion. Can work in reverse for men, too.
Wonder lust en route to wonder love, almost.
I dig this one as well, bro.

[sinNsincerity]

And a lot of side effects come along with them both hahaha. I'm just messing.

[M. L. F.]

Ok, you asked my opinion, so I'm gonna pull out my lady balls and give it to you. I think it's great!... here comes the but, "but" I think one word might need a small tweak. The word escalate denotes more of a rising motion, than a falling one, and since you describe her finger moving "down" from her collar bone to her cleavage, might I suggest a swap, perhaps, for a word like slid, or trailed? Just a small suggestion for a great piece. It has a lot of vibe. Nice work.
..Misty

[sinNsincerity]

Escalators travel upwards and downwards do the not?
Thank you for ready Misty, I'm glad you enjoyed it.

[M. L. F.]

Hmmm... Interesting perspective, and yes very good piece. :)

[jeannemarie coulter]

simple and clean with a clever ending that opens so many possible levels...i love it
...thank you...

[sinNsincerity]

Thank you!

[Nadia Gerassimenko]

Clever yet again! And a little kinky too!

[sinNsincerity]

hehe Thank you Nadia!

[Ana B.]

Beautiful, teasing and utterly enchanting :)

[sinNsincerity]

Why thank you for thinking so Ana!

[Crystal Overmeyer-Birmi..]

Just a moment in a life time. I really dug the relation to over dosing of a person. Being so consumed and filled with them that you feel like you're on drugs. Brilliant image and refreshing. this is one of my favorites

[sinNsincerity]

That means so much to me and made my day.
Thank you Crystal!

[sereenaoutloud]

Love this SweetSin, a simple moment captured so perfectly..the suggestive action and the reaction....
O D ing....brilliant ending !
Awesome Bestie!

[sinNsincerity]

Thank you Sereena,, You're the best!

[sereenaoutloud]

LOL...sorry i am little behind on reviews still playing catchup from being on Vaca!! :)

[sinNsincerity]

No worries, I'm the same right now...
And every time I make a dent and get it down a bit, it grows bigger. lol

[sereenaoutloud]

OMG I know right? I'm like talking to the computer screen..."stop" lol Plus i like to really read and review so it takes me longer!!

[sinNsincerity]

I feel you lol
it's all good though =D