An Evening in God's Den

I said, 

great,"

looks

"heaven

but...

I wasn’t tooo

hesitant to 

make 

it 

back 

P

u

while we were wake n’ bakin’.

Baby, tell me is it a sin because 

we’re living in God’s den

and all I can think about 

is you and I naked?

Adam and Eve 

made the devil 

easy to believe,

so would you 

be shocked that 

I’m on my knees

ready to please.

Please!

Let us be at ease?

Sometimes I like to play the tease ---

fulfilling all of your fantasies.

It ain’t hard to tell ---

creating paintings with the vacant.

Space can never get in our way;

face -- ecaf

eyes never blinking

creating a for never ending ecstasy

The way you bite my neck has my lip quivering.. ..

;=-0998

They must be mistaken 

to think 

that I 

have made 

a 

mistake.

The angels will have to come and 

rip 

m

 

e 

a

 

w

a

v

/

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

You must of got lost. Not God's den.
"The way you bite my neck has my lip quivering!
They must be mistaken to think that I have made a mistake .
The angels will have to come and rip me away."
Good flow of thoughts led to the very nice ending. Thank you for sharing the outstanding poetry.
Coyote

[sinNsincerity]

It is God's den, that's the irony...
Thank you for reading!

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome.

[Willard Wells]

When I started reading I was not sure it would be something I could comment on. But quality work I have to say. Once I got passed the first few lines it rolled right along and lust does take you places others will say no. And as soon as I can't stand it anymore, I'll stop. In the mean time, Get It ON! Thanks for a fun hormonally filled piece of life in E. LA. Peace Out. Rock ON.

[sinNsincerity]

Thank you Willard. East LA was an environment that surly shaped every section and stage of my human development in all sorts of ways. The fast life supplied me with stars of wisdom and I couldn't be anymore blessed.
I'm really glad that you continued reading.

[Border]

A effortless poem, that smoothly flows with a deluge of fears and guilt, that preys the young mind on the doubts in a physical relationship.
The poem ends with regret.
A good read on a rainy gloomy day.
good job.
keep up the good writing.

[sinNsincerity]

I like your take on it, but to me, I wrote this to symbolize how when Adam and Eve disobeyed God they were consumed with shame and guilt, but I'm saying that I accept being a fallen man consumed with flaws. I am only a man and being so I'm going to have such thaoughts even if I didn't want to. My other works will show my faith in him and the bond we have created, but things aren't always peachy and this displays just a piece of me...not all of me.

[Maja]

My favorite lines:

"and eyes never blinking
creating a for never ending ecstasy."

As always, you are great with wordplay. This line, though:

"but I wasn’t too hesitant to make it back up"

Don't you mean "to back it up" instead of "to make it back up"?

Overall, I like the irony of feeling like you're in heaven because you're high but you're questioning if it's a sin to uh.. do the deed while in there. And again, great wordplay. :)

[Maja]

Ohhh wait I think I got it hahaha nevermind with the whole "to make it back up" thing

[sinNsincerity]

When I say heaven looks great, it's a recall, my vision of what it is.
God's den is the earth, so I'm saying I'm not ready to die and go to heaven because I'm enjoying myself here on Earth.

[Maja]

Ohhhh okay I get it I get it.

[sereenaoutloud]

Oh my bestie is so clever.... how ironic all this happening in gods den ... hehehe
I love how you play with words
vacant...space,...
When we are so taken with someone it is such a dreamy feeling and you capture it really well in this write SweetSin! :)

[sinNsincerity]

Yes very ironic and very real because we all do this...here on earth. Some people are not understanding that. Some think that I'm lost because I shouldn't be doing things in such a place, but they are the ones who are lost and just can't open their minds to what I'm really saying.
I love your mind because you saw something beautiful in this and I truly respect that!
Thank you Bestie!

[sereenaoutloud]

Im am a weird one...lol
It felt like the message of it being here on earth was pretty clear...right from the get go you say "
Heaven looks great but i wasn't too hesitant to make it back up"

[sinNsincerity]

I love weird!
Exactly! I'm not sure why some are not seeing that lol

[sereenaoutloud]

We are 2 Bestie Weirdo's ...hehehe

[sinNsincerity]

The Bestestest! ahahaha!!!

[sereenaoutloud]

LMSO... it keeps getting longer and longer lol

[sinNsincerity]

It it forever will grow! =D

[sereenaoutloud]

oh i am so going to have fun with this... just warning ya...heheheh

[sinNsincerity]

Do it! I dare you! =D

[sereenaoutloud]

all in due time my friend ... ..when you least expect it..then you will BAGL....sorry had to say that i just learnt it IM is educating me on all the slang my old brain dont know lol

[sinNsincerity]

What's BAGL?

[sereenaoutloud]

see thats what said... i honestly thought he was saying bagel and was like what? which he found so amusing...it means Busting A Gut Laughing lol...so i thought id be all cool like and use it hehehehe

[sinNsincerity]

I never heard that one before, but that's cool!
It's hard to keep up with all those...

[dan]

I must admit that this one confused me a bit. Talking of an evening in God's den and then making the poem read like a teenager trying to get in a girlfriend's pants just doesn't seem to mesh. I read it twice to see if I was missing something but got the same vibe both times. I think if you had left "God's den" out of the mix it would have made much more sense. The writing, however, is done very well. take care...dan

[Anél De Meyer]

Very raw and powerful. A honest piece of writing that hits you in the gut. Thoughts are structured and poetic.

[sinNsincerity]

Thank you for thinking so and reading!

[KWP]

sound like a spoken word piece - is it?

I like the way you ended a sentence with vacant and started again with Space - clever - even if unintentional.

As with all of your works I can feel the pace and flow - that's what brings it alive for me - makes it jump right off the page and play itself out in front of me - great talent to possess me thinks - I am gonna have to work on that for myself

Nicely Done you X

[sinNsincerity]

Oh, that was intentional. Every word is placed perfectly like stones with no needs for a chisel.
read moreOh, that was intentional. Every word is placed perfectly like stones with no needs for a chisel.
Sometimes it comes easily, but surly hard work indeed.
Thank you so much!

[KWP]

yeah i thought as much ya clever lad XX

[Border]

A effortless poem, that smoothly flows with a deluge of fears and guilt, that preys the young mind on the doubts in a physical relationship.
The poem ends with regret.
A good read on a rainy gloomy day.
good job.
keep up the good writing.

[TheOne&Only]

The dark side of 'Good', very well written! One of my favorites of your writings.

[sinNsincerity]

Thank you so much hon!

[Annacate]

"The angels will have to come and rip me away."

[sinNsincerity]

Yes they will!!!

[jeannemarie coulter]

well written with a good draw and flow to the end...thank you

[sinNsincerity]

Thank you!