Puppet Of My Mind

A poem about my constant struggle with the voice inside my head, OCD, mental illness, and turrets

Puppet

 

Puppet of my mind, I'm falling behind

 

My brain is not my own

 

I do not sit on my bodies’ throne

 

My mind pulls all the strings

 

Forcing me to bow my to my master, and all the torture it brings

 

I'm its servant, its slave, its puppet

 

I do what it says, or deal with the consequences of it

 

I beg for release, for a small piece of hope or dignity

 

My mind does not show mercy though, there will never be peace, and my struggle will not be brief

 

My brain and I fight, day and night, in spite of what's right, in spite of the fact that we might be one and the same, in spite of the fact that we should be on the same side.

 

It insults everything I know, latches on and never seems to let go, attacking me when I'm weak, swearing at me as we speak. Leaving me up s**t's creek, making me look like a freak.

 

The voice in my brain plays with my life like a child with a new toy, smashing it to bits.

 

Leaving me insane with pain. A puppet on tainted strings. Together we are a tangled mess. So whenever I feel my minds caress, I let it have its way with me, as it tugs on my strings, making me it's plaything, it's puppet. Even if it makes me want to vomit.

Author's Note

I'm hoping someone could review this poem


I very seldom reply to reviews, but I promise I read EVERY single one. I look forward to my next review, because it helps me learn. Even if it's just one word, I promise, I will be ecstatic to have the chance to hear what you have to say. Whenever you write something about my poems, or the themes of my poems, or criticize me it is not in vain. I will listen, learn and be thankful.

Reviews

[Bear]

Critique: (I do not sit on my bodies’ throne) this sentence is a little confusing, do you mean sitting upon his own bottom because that is how I take it but reading on it doesn't seem to fit.
(Forcing me to bow my to my master) bow to my master
(I'm its servant, its slave, a puppet) I like what this sentence says but "I am its servant, its slave, its puppet" flows better, just a thought.
(making me it's plaything, it's puppet.) making me its - the contraction "it's" should be a possessive pronoun instead.

Review: This could just as easy be titled bipolar or dementia as they also leaves one mentally imprisoned. Lingering impression on me as my mother died from Alzheimer and I am sure it was a lot like this for her. Well done with the realistic feel. Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap!

[R.J Calzonetti (SinisterPotatoe)]

I have bipolar disorder as well, but maybe I needed to be a little more detailed so I could talk about the problems I meant to without it sounding like other things that I haven't struggled with, such as dementai. I'm glad you liked it!

[Bear]

Writing from what you know and feel always adds to its clarity making it more impressionable. I am left handed and when I was a kid they made me write with my right hand until the 6th grade (don't ask me why because I still don't know) I didn't learn to write very well because I fought it all the way even today my hand writing is atrocious. I picture being bipolar is much like that, you know what is but your brain tells you other wise leaving you always in doubt forcing you to work harder to compensate. I don't envy but I do commend you how well you have over come the challenge it shows you are a true fighter :~)

[R.J Calzonetti (SinisterPotatoe)]

Thank you! Bipolar disorder is two things for me. Ups and downs in mood, and changes in perception. Bipolar disorder makes most people with it very happy for several days at a time, and full or energy. So much that some people can't sleep. This is called manic state. But it also can be debilitating depression. This is called depressive state. This can change between the two in a matter of days, and both feelings can last for weeks, usually one after the other. Also, it changes the way you views things and even think. If your in a manic state, you would perceive everything around you as good, even things you would dislike otherwise. The opposite happens in depressive state. You might like one thing one day and hate it the next. Whether you have a great day or a bad day depends on your state of mind as much as your luck, or the situations you face on that day.

[Bear]

Understanding a problem is have the battle and being able to help to talk about it with other so they understand your position is the other half of the battle or so a professor once told me :~)

[wordman]

a touching and profound write my friend

[R.J Calzonetti (SinisterPotatoe)]

I'm glad you liked it, thanks for reading!

[Surya]

Ups and downs..can make us control our mind..or else as you said it's our master..
Metaphors,...
I liked it..:)

[R.J Calzonetti (SinisterPotatoe)]

Glad you liked it Surya, your review is greatly appreciated! :D

[Najam Us Saher]

The metaphor of a puppet is very aptly used I liked it a lot. The mind is really a puppet which controls us.

[R.J Calzonetti (SinisterPotatoe)]

I agree, and I'm glad you liked it! :D

[Najam Us Saher]

You're most welcome ☺