Sun and Rain Clouds

Just a thought that turned into a poem

I feel depressed

Knowing that I’m not at my best

I need rest

I’m not insane, even if that’s what you guessed

 

You see I’m just a quiet dude

And I’m not in the mood

To be talked down to by you

Just because I told the truth

 

You can’t stop a bird from flying

A fish from swimming

A person from giving

Or my lips from speaking the truth until I’m dead

 

Going back to bed

My eyes are red

With black circles

My blood’s purple

But I’ll keep on taking these meds until I’m dead

 

Fed up with the hate

If this was fate

Then fate is cruel

And a fool

 

It can’t stop me from smiling through pain

Gaining the ability to be sane

Even if my ankles and knees are broken and sprained

I’ll keep walking

 

Even if you tell me to leave

I’ll keep stalking through these halls that used to feel safe

 

Even if you tell lies and talk s**t

I’ll keep mocking your false superiority

 

Even if you tell me to shut my mouth I’ll keep talking

It’s my right

You want to fight?

In spite of everything you took from me

You’re the only one who gets to shout about pain

 

I have a rotting brain

But it wasn’t always like this

You’re always angry

But I know what it feels like to be pissed

 

Your fatal death sentence missed

I kissed my life goodbye

While you tried to make me cut my wrist

 

Open hands once used to hold others turned into a fist from the pain

The effort, the strain

My main goal is to make everything better

Your goal is to screw everything up no matter the weather

It’s raining somewhere so it might as well be my fault

But rain washes away

Tears

Fears

Oil from the gears in my brain

Deceit beneath the sun

The grease from dirty faces

And soothes the souls of any nation

Makes you sane enough to be clean when you see the sun

Looking after everyone

 

Soaks the parched ground so we can grow

And I know you’d prefer sunshine or snow

But without rain, the love will dry in the sun

No gain for anyone

Author's Note

Please tell me what you think.


I very seldom reply to reviews, but I promise I read EVERY single one. I look forward to my next review, because it helps me learn. Even if it's just one word, I promise, I will be ecstatic to have the chance to hear what you have to say. Whenever you write something about my poems, or the themes of my poems, or criticize me it is not in vain. I will listen, learn and be thankful.

Reviews

[Bushra Naqshbandi]

I love the juxtaposition of pain, hope, pessimisim and positivity in the poem ! You've done a great job!

You can’t stop a bird from flying
A fish from swimming
A person from giving
Or my lips from speaking the truth until I’m dead
Absolutely beautiful lines! Hats off!

Fed up with the hate
If this was fate
Then fate is cruel
And a fool
I just love the simplicity of these lines and the way they still rage passionately at the reader.

In spite of everything you took from me
You’re the only one who gets to shout about pain
Something we've all experienced beyond a doubt. The frustration mingles with sarcasm in this one. Beautifully written!

Open hands I used to hold others turned into a fist from the pain
This line didn't really make sense to me the first time I read it. Perhaps you're trying to say open hands with which you used to hold others or others' hands in which case you ought to make the changes necessitated by grammar to make your meaning plain.

My main goal is to make everything better
Your goal is to screw everything up no matter the weather
I found this funny but it conveys a lot of emotion too. I love your use of irony and sarcasm throughout this poem.
Overall, an amazing poem and one which made me feel as if I wasn't seeing the real picture behind it. I think I'll return to it after a good night's sleep as my brain seems too cloudy to penetrate the inner layer of this poem right now. :)

[wordman]

sunshine and rain,,love and pain.there is an opposite to every thing

[Najam Us Saher]

By reading your recent poems I feel like something has been bothering you a lot and you are trying hard to be strong and to keep a smile on your face. I really like your effort. Be strong like this always.

[R.J Calzonetti (SinisterPotatoe)]

Thank you, I have been going through some tough times lately. I haven't really been responding to reviews, but I read every single one, and your always supporting me. Thank you!

[Najam Us Saher]

You are most welcome. I hope you feel better soon.....

[Jackie]

Your words are real. And you are too.
You speak truth display the proof
It is beautiful. And i love to see more. Thanks for sharing