Sub Rosa Pines

 

 

My breath beats weak

in holt and release

when your thought caresses my mind in orgasmic spasms

like hot air wisping in fridged winds

I’m rejecting my vocal pros

to widen my eyes and see your growth succumb me

Oye the sweet nectar your lips leak

your sound suckles my will to speak

 

can I concede that I think of you a little more than I should?

And what would you say if I told you

I would live forever waiting to hold you?

 

by your will it be upon me

only you can set me free

 

My temptress in the dark whispers flickers of your spark

and I dance to your 'on again off again' romance

with my desire in fantasy’s foreplay  

like a lonely drifting candle

rafting in stormy seas

and unforgiving winds

dimming but never extinguished

 

I will not yield in pretense

to less than you

 

I don’t want a kiss,

don’t tell me you love me..

just a slight of hand touch

just one deep look

just a piece of me you can say you took

to awaken my faith

in a humanity that shivers bare

I want you to take me there

 

To hope for something

In all this nothing

 

Do you have the world in the palm of your hand?

may I pass with curtsey bow and raised eyebrow

In a matter-of-fact fashion

a swift shift of the eye

in pragmatical glance

half heartedly laughing

while inwardly beside myself

taken aback by that

which emanates your name

 

in ink blot

liquid motions

in pencil shavings

and

erased notions

 

wonderment in slow undress

a show that will unveil

the naked truth of me wanting you

to gesture surely my way

to speak purely my name

 

like I mean something to you

more than I do

 

more than socially permissive

 

and still i surrender this

unspoken truth

I am exposed in light of your view

 

so i dip behind curtains

in silent whispers

not meant for the ear

but my own piece of mind

"All i want is to know you.."

words and silhouttes

vanish in the corridors

just like

we never were

Author's Note

ok recently changed the title.. your thoughts appreciated.

Reviews

[Pink Poison]

like a lonely drifting candle
rafting in stormy seas
and unforgiving winds
dimming but never extinguished
I will not yield in pretense
to less than you

What superb imagery! This is a stunning example of love poetry; or rather the desire for reciprocal love. I am very much taken by your words...I can't think of a thing I would change, it's perfect.

[Fran Marie]

in ink blot
liquid motion
sin pencil shavings
and erased notions
wonderment in slow undress
a show that will unveil
the naked truth of me wanting you

I like the title, but if I were to rename it~ I would call it "Unveiled Truth"

the entire piece is so well crafted~Excellent Pen my friend~Fran Marie

[Loribeth215]

Spoken,

There was not a word, or a single line here that was not pitch perfect. I can't quote everything, but here was my favorite:

can I concede that I think of you a little more than I should?
And what would you say if I told youI would live forever waiting to hold you?
by your will it be upon me
only you can set me free

[Antony]

I am in awe of this piece, just magnificent, My title for this would be, "I wonder, if you are aware" and I say this because to me, this passion that you are expressing and this need....so well written with beautiful words, it sounds to me that you are speaking to a higher power, your creator. There are certain lines that give me this impression. There is a an adorning in this piece, that I am feeling and that is my reason for my interpretation, but no matter what, this is a fabulous piece of writing, I can't say enough about it... It sings.

to awaken my faith
in a humanity that shivers bare
I want you to take me there
To hope for something
In all this nothing
Do you have the world in the palm of your hand

to gesture surely my way
to speak purely my name

only you can reach me

Antony

[Jason Nuciola]

the title should be orgasmic spasms lol the love this a women after my heart

[Michael X]

I'de called it, classic ode to masterpiece romance, it is breathtaking, and felt reciprocated under moonlight, like a serenade of desire, stunning, I loved it,

[Fantasyfairy]

I like the title, it suits the piece well. The poem is full of passion, love and saddnesss at an unrequited love. Nice writing. XX

[Rain]

I'm the first to admit I have problems sometimes with abstract poens such as this one. This is not a fault of you, but me. I read it three times, each time comprehending a little more. You have some great lines in this piece. I get angry at my limitations. It is good for me to read a poem laced with subtle metaphors. You are such a fluid writer. I noticed that others had no problems capturing your meanings, which makes me feel a little behind. I love your work, and I feel the beauty of your words, even if I need to reread it to truely grasp it. You are amazing. Rain..

[Silent Kim aka mizmetap..]

Oye the sweet nectar your lips leakyour sound suckles my will to speak

in ink blotliquid motionsin pencil shavingsanderased notions

These lines were.... uh, just perfect. The poem is smooth and sweet, I only don't like how you end with if even you care, With words like this who cares if they care or not, just let the words stand for themselves and yes a better title could be made to express the depth and beauty of this writing, it is amazing.

[Dani California]

Wow! This is incredible!

notions
of wonderment in slow undress
a show that will unveil
the naked truth of me wanting you
to gesture surely my way
to speak purely my name


The is an outstanding piece. I liked every bit of it, but I really thought these lines were revealing and awesome. The passion and emotion reflected in this entire piece caught me at the beginning and carried my throughout. To long for the affection of someone so badly, but not wanting them to know just how vulnerable you are, just how much you think about them -- in the event they don't feel the same. For that, would be crushing. So, paper and ink blots it is..... until....

Brilliant work!

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Oh my where do I start, this is absolutely astounding, chalk full of mixed emotions of wanting love but wanting nothing to do with it... I would love to pick out some of my favorite lines but the whole thing just consumes me, certainly one of the best things I have read in a while.