Erratic

Erratic

A Poem by TamiViolet
"

dramatic verse

"

 

 Oh Poseidon, you disrupt my sea
    
Alter not your color for the likes
      
Of miserable me
       
Your mouth foams in revelry
        
As I gasp desperately for
         
One remaining breath
          
My rosary floats upon your
           Fickle friendship of fury
          For your whims leave me
         With goose flesh as
       The grapevine wraps itself
      Around my throat--
      I bear witness to antiquated
       Notes which deceive
        The tongue of my counterpart
         Scorches this bosom--
          Nevermore do I grieve
          Yet I swim vainly--
         The chastity belt on land
        It does remain
       Drowned dreams of delusion--
     Un-new
   I lurk within the shadow of
 Door number two


© 2008 TamiViolet


Author's Note

TamiViolet
Something a little different for me, folks.

My Review

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Featured Review

This is so dark and mysterious. Very well written A. I agree, it's a bit different for you, yet I still hear your voice in it. Of course, I couldn't help but think of drowning .... being strangled by seaweed on my way down... but that was just a surface interpretation of course. That sea runs quite a bit deeper and you've left it wide open for interpretation.

I'm always a fan of your work, and this is no exception. You have quite a talent my friend.. a pleasure as always :)

(love the graphic)

Posted 12 Years Ago


5 of 5 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

expressed from the muses own heart, this poem reaches its height with the supernatural supposition you intel ever so gracefully beautiful, dreamy and
artistic, and your mind is a paintbrush, the your words breeze across the
readers heart as a full color spectrum of fine details that bring this vision of
the goddess and sea to life. thus creating such a masterpiece
that i can help but fall under the hynotic effects of your enchantment
talented as you are Apollonia :)

Posted 11 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Your form and flow are just brilliant, and you bring about that mythic dreamish quality that makes reading your work simply wondrous. Deep and beautiful...

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I LOVE IT!! dark and wonderful and excellent write my dear!
I really liked the emotional picture painted within the words excellent.
I felt very drawn to this writing and have read it many times drawing from it various pictures and stories.
I loved this stanza very powerful: For your whims leave me
With goose flesh as
The grapevine wraps itself
Around my throat--
I bear witness to antiquated
Notes which deceive
The tongue of my counterpart
Scorches this bosom
Lasla


Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

i realy liked this. the flow and even the color of the words make this so cool to read. great job

Posted 12 Years Ago


Drowned dreams of delusion--
Un-new
I lurk within the shadow of
Door number two

I really enjoyed this write, especailly these lines here,
A dark write here as well as holds mystery, i like this
I like your style. I like the shape pf your poem it does
look like a mermaids tail.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

its beautifully dark....... and the mysterious touch to the whole verse makes it a wow...!! its very well crafted.. the picture, the colour of the words, the way its written, makes the whole of it so amusing! :) well done mate!

:) Smiles,
Krishna

Posted 12 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Beautiful imagery. I love the way the poem makes waves. So well written and enticing. It's dreamlike quality carries the reader into a world of dreams. XX

Posted 12 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Decent, very different from your usual. Good, none the less.

The Ocean always did hold many mysteries.

Posted 12 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

i like how you wrote the piece to follow like a wave... very creative...
great piece of writing...

Posted 12 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.


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1978 Views
28 Reviews
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Shelved in 2 Libraries
Added on December 20, 2008
Last Updated on December 22, 2008

Author

TamiViolet
TamiViolet

Somewhere behind the evening sky..., PA



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A Poem by TamiViolet



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