Forever Bonded

If you enjoy vampire poems, then this is for you.

Piercing sounds were heard by some,

The screams of something gone terribly wrong

She lays on the ground and writhes briefly in pain,

There was blood around her and a lot of shame

She arose from the dirt and shook her head,

There was a moment where she didn't know that she was undead

Then came the feeding, the man she took,

After she drank, he laid there and shook

He had transformed and now she wasn't alone,

She smiled as he was chilled to the bone

They would have one another always and forever,

She would not be alone, their bond broken never.

 

Reviews

[Twilight]

This rhymes and flows flawlessly. I like the romantic idea, of a woman and her lover finding eternal bliss - as undead creatures of the night. Indeed, they are bonded in more than one way. As lovers, vampires and trapped forever to walk on this earth.

As for weaknesses, there were only two which seemed clear to me. Firstly, the man in this vampiric relationship, could not be "chilled to the bone", if he had turned into one of the undead. Unless, you were simply trying to convey the coldness or lack of warmth, which we tend to associate with death and the undead? In addition, more imagery could have been added.

Overall, this was quite interesting to read, and a pretty good piece of poetry. Thankyou, Stacy!

[Eagle Cruagh]

Geeezz ! After the second and third
reading I began to understand.
This is an abrupt, coldly delivered piece of
frank, outspoken literature.
Very well done.
---- Eagle Cruagh

[Baby Boy]

Ha ha! I loved it! Especially the ending! It was perfect! And very witty might I add! Great job sweetie! Keep these coming! One luv gurl!

-JC-

[Joseph - Michael]

This is very interesting piece on how you made the tale of the vampirism love so short like that...

Yet, it's all still good, so no worries...