A Poem by Ivana~

Once upon a time I was a useless little child. 
Brainless, emotionless, stupid, senseless, and thought I knew everything about the wild life. 
I thought I knew how to recover from this strife 
I thought I could be good enough. 
It wasn't okay for me to say the things I did 
But it wasn't right for you to treat me how you did 
I put up with your s**t 
I put up with the bull and the lies 
and I put up with all of it.  
But now you are literally gonna watch me fall 
not even offer a hand to help me stand 
not even offer a sense of stability to help me love. 
you said it your self you were a jerk. 
and it was obvious you were but i didn't want to believe it 
When kind of person stays with a man who just uses you to beat it 
I can't lose myself in a man who's not gonna care if I stay or go 
So I chose the hard path in this life to learn bigger lessons cause now I know
But is this even a lesson besides the obvious 
Is there even a reason besides the lessons that we undergo naturally, or is it a lesson everyone has to face. 
A boyfriend who treats you like you aren't worth his pace. 
His lifestyle, his taste, I'm nothing more than some waste of space. 
And now its his loss because it will be filled by the love of a man who is man enough to 
allow me to experience TRUE love.
He said he loved me, I could ask for what I wanted. I could tell him and he'd do it, but only materlistic things. 
Girls go off of materlistic items. But women need your love and that is better than any man made product. 
If you can't see that then,my man, you better learn, because this world is tough and you are only the starting bluff 
of my sadness and my sorrows. 
He used to make me get butterflies 
He used to make me wonder why 
I am smiling for no reason. 
He used to make my night 
He used to make my life. 
He used to be my everything 
But I have to say goodbye. 
I have to move on 
From this life we are wasting. 
Its not just me. 
Its you too. 
Don't deny it boo. 
You know its damn true. 

So here I go again. 
Repeating words like three years back for the other man named Suki. 
I thought they wouldn't do this to me. 
But only did I realize I got messed with once again. 
Aren't I smart. 
Aren't I special. 
Why does god let me go through s**t that hurts like many pebbles 
going down your throat and cutting your insides 
until you bleed out and die and scream. 

F this life. 
F him. 
I'm starting over ,cleaning the slate 
from all my damn mistakes. 
sad to say this would never be one 
but it was my mistake to allow us to get back after the stupid break. 
So Now all I have to say since the job is done.
While I'm emotionally writing off the tips of my fingers. 

Good bye. 

© 2014 Ivana~

Author's Note

I am angry, depressed and currently just typing away. Please don't mind grammatical errors.

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Added on September 5, 2014
Last Updated on September 5, 2014



~Welcome to my account. ~The flower who married my brother the traitor. The Princess of Fantasy. Simply Seventeen. ~~~~~~~~~~~Enjoy~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Enter the world of Dreams. more..