Idyll; Chapter 4

A letter for you, love.

Carys.

I wrote you a letter today.
I really didn't have a reason to. I wanted to say something, but I didn't know what, nor how. My mind flutters more than my heart, which to be quite honest is way more than you could imagine.
Did you know the brain transmits over 500,000 bits of information in a single second? Thats over 30,000,000 bits of information in a minute. Sometimes that may double or triple when induced to certain chemicals..Dopamine and adrenaline, to name a couple. There are a few things that can make your mind race this face. Fear, hate, excitement, drugs and, to be more specific, love. It becomes rather hard when I try to translate every single neuron that my brain pops off into graphite, so you can see my conundrum.
I've been sitting here for the past 5 hours, pencil in hand and sober as f**k, trying to think of what to say to you, but I have no idea how, nor what I want to say.
What we have is...complicated. What we have is...complex. What we have is...perfect.
I've wanted this for so long, so bad, so HARD..this has been so HARD for both of us.
3000 miles in between us and we still said yes. 4 very hasty parents pushing us away and 3000 miles of telephone wires keeping us attached...I guess I have to say that I should probably pray to Alexander Graham Bell for that one.
I really shouldn't write this, because we're grown so close I can say anything to you face-to-face without consequences, but somehow I still can't bring myself to open this much. Not yet.
So I'm taking my old therepists advice and writing a letter that I'll never give you..Maybe you will. I'll probably be smooth about it and just so happen to leave it on the table.
Mom always said I should've gone to college, I should've gotten a degree in something, should've never listened to my heart. Sure, she might've been right in some sense, but she was an ignorant fool. She told me I should've never given into you. That I should've stayed home and lived under dads rule..I still think she was a f*****g idiot. That m**********r threw one too many bottles at me. I said that was it. You were more important anyways.
You've always been more important. Thats why I dropped everything. Thats why I saved you.
Thats why I need you so close.
Thats why when we fall asleep, I can't seem to fall asleep first. I stay awake just to watch you sleep, in all of your natural beauty.
I know through all the drugs and bruises you were so perfect when I first saw you. When I stepped foot off of the train I knew I was done for.
F**k, from the second I first saw your face on my screen...
I still feel guilty sometimes for taking their money.

Did you know Orion was an amazing hunter in Greek mythology? He would kill for and feed entire villages...kind of an extreme Robin Hood complex, pre-Robin Hood. I guess at times I think of myself as a modern day Orion.
I still forget how that story goes.
Maybe thats for the best.

I guess the moral of this letter is to say I love you.
 

I always have.
I always will.

Don't give up on me.
Please.



You're the only person I've ever trusted, you're the only person I'll ever trust.

Remember that.
 

<3

Reviews

[Bella Cohen]

"Thats why I dropped everything. Thats why I saved you.
Thats why I need you so close.
Thats why when we fall asleep, I can't seem to fall asleep first. I stay awake just to watch you sleep, in all of your natural beauty."

BEST. EVER.
That made me tear up a little, actually.
I have to say that this has been my favourite chapter thus far. I love the relationship he has with Carys, and I love that it's so complicated that it's almost simplistic... you write this VERY well. Kudos, and WRITE MORE. I'm very impatient!

[Musicfreak on a leash]

Your writing is f*****g amazing.
I definitely can't wait to read more.
You're an insanely good writer.
It's very informative and to the point.
Makes me actually feel like I know the character and his emotions.
Amazing.
Simply amazing.