Lizard Show

Lizard Show

A Poem by T.S. Ulmus

Just a light dialogue.

K- hi this is Ken here with my colleague Brad
at the 47th annual lizard show,
coming to you live from the heart
of downtown Wichita.

B- the gecko class is beginning at slow walk
across the long carpet
K- eyes are all akimbo out there.
B- they have been specifically asked
not to sell insurance.
K- thanks for finding the most obvious joke Brad.

B-over to the Komodo dragon category,
Hiro Nagasaki is strutting his stuff.
K- Oh! Sassafras Bananas just killed another judge.
B- That's gonna mean a disqualification.
K- Too bad,
she was favored for a best-in-show ribbon.

B- Next up is the bearded dragon class.
K- The judges are taking a very close look,
after the scandal last year
of the taxidermied entries.
B- Whiskers doesn't seem to be moving much
... nope he's alive.

K- Now to the iguanas.
B- It's worth noting the vicious scars
on the arms of the breeders.
K- Those tails can be nasty.

B- They just announced a winner
in the chameleon division.
K- Failed Plathismagraph
pulled off a perfect paisley.
B- It was quite impressive.
K- He was just around here... somewhere.
B- It might be hard to award that ribbon.

K- I hate you Brad.
B- I hate me too Ken.

© 2021 T.S. Ulmus

My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register


Adorable! I could picture something like this on SNL.. or maybe Robot Chicken! You got giggles out of me..

Posted 1 Day Ago

I love it. whatever it was, lol clever as ever TS what a great imagination you have:) I tried to do something along this vein once about some city rats and I couldn't give it justice like this!

Posted 1 Week Ago

By far the most imaginative writing I've seen from you, off the charts into la-la land, but also staying amazingly relevant & relatable! Your premise is well-polished, tight, organized, & popping with specific examples of your various contestants. This will make cosmic writers envious (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

Posted 1 Week Ago

Why did we all know exactly how Brad and Ken sounded despite never hearing them? And who knew that I'd now be thinking "I'd watch that show" probably while secretly despising myself (and Brad and Ken) for doing so?
But most importantly of all, why do I feel the sudden urge to look out an old tape recorder and start commentating on programmes they should definitely make.
Thank you for a more tolerant understanding of the lizard family. 😊

Posted 1 Week Ago

Great comedy. Fun to read. Saturday Night Live stuff.

Posted 1 Week Ago

Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


5 Reviews
Added on January 13, 2021
Last Updated on January 14, 2021


T.S. Ulmus
T.S. Ulmus

Bennet, NE

I try to swerve into a curve that's not rutted by the thoughts of others while clearing the obstacles of the mundane. I like receiving read requests for poetry, but... ya know, good stuff. more..

Pigeons Pigeons

A Poem by T.S. Ulmus

Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..

Commuting Commuting

A Poem by Beccy