Stilettos

Bitterly cold November wind blows,

suppressing the sound of red stilettos

tapping a furious rhythm down a dark

barren street, defying potential danger

from black pavement slick with sleet.

 

A glint of steel appears in the streetlight,

only for an instant, then is cast into the night,

barrel forced open as it lands with a clang,

resounding down into a gutter, disappearing

out of sight.

 

On the other side of town, someone arrives

at their home to the smell of sex and

gunpowder drifting from their bedroom.

Grey smoke lingers heavily, swirling,

still in the air and tiny crimson droplets

cling randomly to walls and hair,

reflecting abandoned candlelight

on new death in the dark of night.

 

Anguished screams pierce the night

and one by one apartments light

as sleepy neighbors raise windows,

shivering as the cold wind blows.

Curious faces along the row whisper

and wonder if it’s someone they know.

 

Passion crime committed on a bitterly cold

November night. Sexy killer vanishes quickly

out of sight as the burgeoning sounds of chaos

effectively conceal the telltale hurried tapping

sound of guilt wearing stiletto heels.

Reviews

[Angelheaded Hipster]

Very cool! Hell hath no fury like a woman in stilettos! Though how shed run off in those killer shoes is beyond me....

I think it would work better in short story form, flesh out the people in the bedroom....give the stiletto woman a little bit more mystery....

but this works rather well too!

[John Stussy]

I think it works well as a poem, nice and short while giving the same effect as a story. Besides, the way you tell it adds a bit of unique mystery to it as well that would not be accomplishable in story format.

[SM Davis]

Tania, this is perfect! It flows nicely and reads like a story only poetically. Well done my dear!

[Midnitefyrfly]

When I started reading I was expecting a prominent ryhme scheme. I was taking away from what you were saying by looking for it. Instead, I started over and just read it. It was great. I can see where you could take it into a story and think it would be a good one. It was very compelling.
cling randomly to walls and hair
that left me a chilling image and begged me to read more.
Very well done!

[Roy]

Vividly imaginative, suspenseful and intriguing! I am drawn into this, feeling the whole while like I should stay very alert and listen carefully for any sudden noises around me. I like it a lot, starting with the title.

[Twisted Words (Tom)]

Yes this does set the stage very well for a story if you had time. But just on its own it's still a captivating scene.

[Lydia Shutter]

Intriguing and suspenseful and certainly a good foundation for a full blown story. I hope you expand upon this. It's very well written. Lydia

[Lea Jane]

Well it's certainly a great prologue to a short story! This is definitely intriguing, I hope you keep going with it.

[Ice Queen of the Vampir..]

Ooh, I really like this. Wonderfully written!!!

Heather

[Papillion]

Early stages or not,it's good.