Stilettos

Bitterly cold November wind blows,

suppressing the sound of red stilettos

tapping a furious rhythm down a dark

barren street, defying potential danger

from black pavement slick with sleet.

 

A glint of steel appears in the streetlight,

only for an instant, then is cast into the night,

barrel forced open as it lands with a clang,

resounding down into a gutter, disappearing

out of sight.

 

On the other side of town, someone arrives

at their home to the smell of sex and

gunpowder drifting from their bedroom.

Grey smoke lingers heavily, swirling,

still in the air and tiny crimson droplets

cling randomly to walls and hair,

reflecting abandoned candlelight

on new death in the dark of night.

 

Anguished screams pierce the night

and one by one apartments light

as sleepy neighbors raise windows,

shivering as the cold wind blows.

Curious faces along the row whisper

and wonder if it’s someone they know.

 

Passion crime committed on a bitterly cold

November night. Sexy killer vanishes quickly

out of sight as the burgeoning sounds of chaos

effectively conceal the telltale hurried tapping

sound of guilt wearing stiletto heels.

Reviews

[Angelheaded Hipster]

Very cool! Hell hath no fury like a woman in stilettos! Though how shed run off in those killer shoes is beyond me....

I think it would work better in short story form, flesh out the people in the bedroom....give the stiletto woman a little bit more mystery....

but this works rather well too!

[Amor-de-angel]

I really like this, you did a good job on it.
I hope you will expand on it.

[Captain Blackheart (The..]

I can see what you mean when you say it started out as a story.....It has the feel about it. A great write, and wonderfully expressed. I really liked the piece, I really don't see why it should be changed at all. You have captured everything, suspence, mood, setting......BRILLIANT!!!

[desertraven]

Hey, I really liked this alot! if your attention can span a bit longer,lol I would like to see your story played out in a poem. Nice touch!
Sandra♥

[Michael X]

tania, i really enjoy reading your work because
you write for the pure sake of creativity as well as
combined talent, this story takes the reader on a
dramatic journey into a riveting play of suspense,
intrigue, crime, with theatrical imagery and effect, mike

[Forest Green]

The theme, the generousity provided the reader's imagination, and the cutting indifference implied of the supposed perp to the crime are good ingredients for a 'best-seller'.

It is in an early stage simply because so much more begs to be added...which means for a quick completion once you're allowed the time.

Very, very good.

FG

[Deborah Leah Krempa]

Very good poem, great story. Thank you for sharing. Debileah

[Brette Medb]

This could definitely be a great short story given some time and some background info. I loved where it's going and the red stilettos were a great touch. Keep going with it and send it to me when you're done!

Brette

[Joseph - Michael]

Early stages? short story? That is a hell of a starter on the first draft like that (If that's what it is?) and it sure is well detailed, also. Let me know what you finish the final draft, because I'd really like to read it...

Other than that, I don't really see anything that need to be fix or anything like that at all. After you're done making the final copy after the revising, I'll let you know what I really think and believe from my own options...

[Queen of the Damned]

Well, I have to say that the hairs on the back of my neck were up while reading this. I think this is an excellent start for a story. Is this poem going to be like a prelude to the story? Cause all I know is I want more details! lol