Tired of restarting my damaged life

Trust is like a paper, once its crumpled, it cant be perfect once again....

Expectations, Expectations, and Expectations,
It leads me to nothing but frustrations

This trust, this belief and this blind wish
Breaks me down and makes life hellish

Its hard to return from the road I've hack
But still I believe that there's always a turning back

My tears slowly became invisible to everyone
No one even realize what I've been through until
my breath reaches the last one

I'm so scared cuz my life is not all mine
I shared it with many others
and that one person who gave me shine

All I'm feeling is useless dummy
Who can make promises but never keep them

I couldn't help myself, my love, my besty of even my family
But nothing works anymore even if I regret daily

My life is over at this point, nothing's gonna restart
I'm just a rotten garbage where noble people came as a part

But no one could fix me up, cuz in this big world, I'm just a lil failure
Now all I have is questions but no answers that y am I so dull???

Author's Note

Hope u will like it......and please review...no matter if its good or bad.... I just more and more advices and suggestions......I know I have to learn more.....So, plz help me up....

Reviews

[Chaise Nicole]

There's a lot of potential here that you just need to up your game to reach. "From the road I've hack" just doesn't make sense, and I found myself stopping here to try to understand meaning rather than continuing with the flow of your piece. "everyone" and "one" is a low level rhyme and it could be stronger. "Who gave me shine" Should be changed to "Made me shine". "All I'm feeling is useless dummy" the line after it doesn't rhyme while the rest of your piece does. Consistency is key, and this line also is worded awkwardly. Change "Lil", "cuz", "y" to Little, because, and why, because using terms like this makes you sound uneducated, which you clearly are not! Your topic choice is deep and emotional, and there's a lot of potential here, it's just about reaching it. Also remove the ??? because it also makes your work seem immature. I hope these suggestions and the advice helps, as I saw in your authors note that you were looking for help to improve. :)

"ah... now this one is definitely one of your best!" The poem reads very smoothly, fitting and emphases the emotions and frustrations... So raw, allowing the emotions to actually cut threw your readers, not requesting but demanding they take notice..

[Coyote Poetry]

The poem is honest and direct.
"All I'm feeling is useless dummy
Who can make promises but never keep them"
I do my best to stay positive with kids and co-workers. Too much negative already. Many people feel the way the poem described. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Tasfia Islam]

My pleasure.....I'm glad u liked it ..:)

[Fariha Tahseen Karim]

loved it. But it seems your 'lil' pisses off many writers. So plz write little. Love you and your poem sweatheart

[Tasfia Islam]

Thank you.... and I'll fix that stupid habit for sure... :) love u too

[Fariha Tahseen Karim]

my pleasure

[Tasfia Islam]

:)

[Elizabeth La]

Beautifully written poem. It expresses the deepest parts of your hurts, pains and insecurities. Keep up the great work.

[Tasfia Islam]

Thank you.... :)

[Young&Reckless]

Whoa.. I really like the darkness of it. The very last line is perfect, very powerful ending. One piece of advice I might consider is taking the last line and using it as a refrain, rephrasing it and scattering it around the poem. It could add some structure to it. Besides that, excellent poem, very well written and deep. Keep it up.

[Tasfia Islam]

Thank you so much..... It means a lot to me.... :)

[DoormanDan]

there are a few spelling errors but even so this is great. This poem really hit home for me because i feel this way about myself most days( although i try not to). Very well written. Marvelous!

[Tasfia Islam]

Thank you.... :) I'm glad that u liked it..... And I'll surely try to avoid the mistakes from next time.... :)

[jemaral]

The entire piece screams teen angst.. Although the later half of the poem take on a slighly mature tone for me mainly the fear of losing control or that of not being in control in the first place and its effects on self worth. Yes this can still be related to teen frustrations but control issues and self worth issues are shared by adults as well its just that adults are more profecient in masking them. be it intentional or not this piece seems to call attention to a not so apparent fact that adults and teenagers are not as different as each side seems to think somewhere behind all the hormones and all the adult responsibilities there exists a common ground between them that neither party wants to admit... This piece sparked an interesting thougt for me and put a smile on my face.. On a different note the 2,2,2,3,3,2,2,2,2 uneven line structure bothers me a bit but I can be weirdly OCD sometimes so it might just be me...

[Tasfia Islam]

Teenage is actually a mixture of maturity and immaturity....Thats y i tried to make a mixture in the poem too.....but I dont know if i could..... And its interesting how a sad poem brought a smile in ur face but its good....haha.... :) Anyways, i'm glad u liked it. I have a lot to learn from u....And u r a wonderful writer I must say.... Thank you.... :)

[Nitesh Mahabal]

One Can Draw Its A Teenage Life Frustration Coming Out. I Liked That U Could Describe That Mind Set So Well

[Tasfia Islam]

Thank you so much...... I'm glad you understood what I really meant to say through the poem and I'm too happy that I became successful in expressing the perfect feeling of mind into words....

[Nitesh Mahabal]

U Did Very Well :)

[Jennie Baron]

I do like it. At your age one feels emotions and ups and downs very keenly, more than you will later, and this expresses it very well. It takes me back to when I was a teenager.

[Tasfia Islam]

Thank you.... I'm glad that u liked it and also glad my writing became enough powerful to take u to ur past.... :)