Deliverance

Just something that nature inspired the other day.

The stifling shroud that
hangs in the summer air
brings burden to even
the simplest of acts.

 

Breaths come with difficulty,
as if drawn through plastic wrap.
Suddenly, the skies darken
and bring nature's merciful fury.
 
The air cools and a breeze
rustles through the treetops,
turning leaves over, exposing
their pale underbellies.

 

This breeze, pregnant
with the scent of distant
lakes, holds the promise
of cool, wet relief.

 

Grape sized drops at first.
one, then another ... sploosh,
sploosh. Drops get smaller,
falling now in raging sheets.

 

The breeze, now a cool driving
wind, thrashes branches about
as the booming clap of Mother
Nature calls all to her relief.

 

I stand, arms outstretched
and head thrown back
in thanks as I am drenched
in her deliverance.

Reviews

[holly]

I feel so at home with this poem - like discussing the conditions of a summer afternoon with a long lost cousin - because your language is selected, not merely plopped down from of the flow of feelings, and you've obviously used a fine chisel to remove anything unnecessary to meaning. What an enjoyable piece!! Thank you for posting it.

[Sam Severn]

The imagery here is absolutely STUNNING! N' your final verse absolutely ROCKED ME to my core! Beautiful, simply beautiful....㋡

[Kristopher]

Your words are very well thought out and poetic.

I dislike a lack of rhyme scheme, sometimes that's okay, but to touch on rhyming and then ignore it later.. a broken rhyme scheme... annoys me to no end.
"breeze" "trees"
then
"pregnant" "distant"
but no others...

[Emily]

I felt this the other day too. How wonderful to feel the approach of the coming storm and to have it so inspire you. I love this feeling, and you've captured it very well here.

[Angela]

This was amazing. Its so hot right now I would love to be able to stand with my arms outstretched reveling in the fury of mother nature.

[Desert Dreamer]

A cooling rain in the summer, oh I so much love these summer storms that you have described so well.

[Emily B]

a pleasure to come back to words so expertly crafted . . . it's been too hot here lately

[Crowley]

This makes me feel refreshed and introspective. Nice images and the rhythum is superb. Nice job.

[.ronald.039.]

Stunning, man. I checked out some of your stuff and it's a refreshing change of pace from a lot of the overly depressing, overly dramatic writings circulating out there (like the kinds I tend to do). But you certainly got a handle on structure and phrasing. A really enjoyable read. And thanks for that nice review of my piece.

[Ferg]

Also a fantastic piece of writing! I am glad you reposted these now for I had not read them earlier.
I love the images and the flow is impeccable, with subtle rhyme and spot on rhythm. Nicely done!

[Ruth]

This is elegantly written friend:)
Your use of imagery is stunning in this poem xx