Deliverance

Just something that nature inspired the other day.

The stifling shroud that
hangs in the summer air
brings burden to even
the simplest of acts.

 

Breaths come with difficulty,
as if drawn through plastic wrap.
Suddenly, the skies darken
and bring nature's merciful fury.
 
The air cools and a breeze
rustles through the treetops,
turning leaves over, exposing
their pale underbellies.

 

This breeze, pregnant
with the scent of distant
lakes, holds the promise
of cool, wet relief.

 

Grape sized drops at first.
one, then another ... sploosh,
sploosh. Drops get smaller,
falling now in raging sheets.

 

The breeze, now a cool driving
wind, thrashes branches about
as the booming clap of Mother
Nature calls all to her relief.

 

I stand, arms outstretched
and head thrown back
in thanks as I am drenched
in her deliverance.

Reviews

[holly]

I feel so at home with this poem - like discussing the conditions of a summer afternoon with a long lost cousin - because your language is selected, not merely plopped down from of the flow of feelings, and you've obviously used a fine chisel to remove anything unnecessary to meaning. What an enjoyable piece!! Thank you for posting it.

[Mari Sloan]

I love this. I remember living in the land of liquid air, and welcoming the moment when heavy vapor became actual water. Rain is such drama in my homeland and you've captured it perfectly.
:-)

[SM Davis]

The stifling shroud that
Hangs in the summer air
Brings burden to even
The simplest of acts.

Welcome to two steps from the depths of Hell...in summer. Nicely done! Imagery is impeccable. 100 wilted roses...:0)

[Doreen]

As I read this, I can feel the weight of heat blistering. I feel the impending relief as the poem goes on to describe the storm that will bring relief. I can almost smell the rain and feel the wonder of it all. God, I love the rain and its glory. This is wonderfully written. Great word choices and imagery.

[Cherrie Palmer]

I love this poem it should do well in the contest. :) Cherrie

[Emily B]

I remember this :)

[shythatway]

This was beautiful. I love the rain too. The smell, the brighter colours, how everything seems more alive afterward. You described this wonderfully, with details like the pale bellies of leaves (amazing).. Thanks for sharing. =)

(PS: That last stanza made me imagine you as Tim Robbins on the cover of one of my favourite movies ;))

[jen]

i love the smell in the air right before a really good rain storm.... this brought that sensation... no, your poem is not smelly... i do enjoy how it brings back the memory.. very nicely done.. where i am in california we don't get that kind of storm much.

[Cherrie Palmer]

nothing better than to get caught in a summer rain after a day of being out in the heat, the image was flawless.

[Wildfleour]

I love this. I wrote a poem , not posted anymore, so similar to this. I'll send it in an email to you.

I always look at the heart of the poem - the details. So many gems here:

plastic wrap, pale bellies, wet relief, arms outstretched........lovely.

[Legion]

I like the mud it makes. :) I like it. Well done.