Earthen Green Creations

Written long, long ago. Still though, I felt the need to add it on here.

 

 

 

Swinging past earth's burly wonder,
With open arms she dove.
Into the grass was where she lay,
Into the forest her soul should stay.
A paisley swirl of Earthen Green,
Besieged her very mind's reflection.
Rumination, speculation
Taken by the green.
She touched the leaves,
She felt the bark,
She loped with open mind and soul.
The green sank in,
It seized her heart;
An antiquated, lovely sin.
Far from lucid, on she meandered
Unperceived with blessedness.
With satiation on her mind
A sitting place, she tried to find.
Upon a log was where she chose
Waning now, she soon engrossed.
Her pencil touched the crinkled paper.
On that paper she indited,
"Green, green, green"

Author's Note

And of course, I had to add another of my nature-obsessed smidgens

Reviews

[M@]

I like the rhyme scheme and patterns you use, here, patterns meaning that you had none. You rhyme when you feel the want to, which gives the piece a (good) contradictory feel to the freeverse rhyming style which doesn't exist.

There are times when I feel the same way, and you manage to capture those feelings, yet again, in your work with great wordplay. It's hard to find phrases that sound cliche in this piece; anything stated therein is originally put and well thought out.

A great piece.

[Edward Clay]

She touched the leaves,
She felt the bark,
She loped with open mind and soul.
The green sank in,
It seized her heart;
An antiquated, lovely sin.

i love the internal and unstructured rhyme here - it feels unintentional, and just natural - which adds that real, green sense of things. and the title is fascinating - earthly green. its strange, as we take for granted the earth is green, but its not, its a dark brown colour - the green is the root of its life - maybe im thinking too much into it, but its what i like doing! some good work choices as well.