Stolen By Sunshine

Green grapes were never my choice.
She would drink the pale stuff and laugh,
"California, California, I sure do miss California."
I would swallow my burgundy and
once the cup's bottom was found,
you could always count on
one last cigarette being shared before the light went out.
She always slept rightly of me
and I would turn that direction
for the anticipatory kiss
my mind had become accustomed to receiving.
She would softly touch her lips to mine
and then suck my upper into her mouth
much like a tropical fish would
passionately suck the golden flakes of food
from the waters top.
3 am Wednesday, 4 Wednesdays ago
was the last suck of passion.
9:45 am she boarded the flight.
I call her every now and then,
She is working at her Uncle's vineyard.
34 years old and her dark hair always ponytailed.
The Sierra Foothills will never know
the passion they stole from a man
who now drinks alone filling a glass with white,
as I swallow my burgundy
and fall asleep
with nobody.
 

Reviews

[Ishan Sadwelkar]

This is beautiful. The flow was maintained so well, the poem bordered on prose and poetry for a long time, which actually kept me interested as to what would happen towards the end. Simple but convincing. Just one thing dude-

"last suck of passion."

I dn't know why but 'suck' doesn't seem to fittingly portray the sentiment you want to express. Suck sounds shallow, it could be something deeper. Just saying.

[Emily B]

this is an excellent piece of poetry and I'm glad that it came my way, looking forward to reading more o fyou

[Octob3r Star]

Two lovers, a tale of discontent from each having to separate. Very nice.

[Ask Nopf]

This is a very moving piece, mostly because it is an instinctual fear that our loved ones will leave us for something more dear to them but also because you string together words so eloquently.

[Empirik]

I love the ending! Real! This was clever. Thanks! :)

[Vivek Koshy]

must appreciate the details, but more relevant is the subtleness that lies all through the poem.
Well said, well put. A smaller size though might have had a better impact.

[The White Wolf]

hmmm...this was so subtle, so unassuming, so delicate, that you really have to let your mind wander along with this to feel the complexity of the feeling behind it. I really like that about his write. It was very much like a glass of wine, you have to taste it to know, but once you do, it is gone. Honestly, I think I am in love with it and am placing it safely in my vault. Very nice work.

[Alessander]

Great details. Wine, cigarettes, desire.

This has a sort of somber confessional undertone, very subtle without that emo melodrama of "my soul aches".

Traveling through the Cali vineyards, I can tell you, on some levels, it's idyllic. And that's what I see here. How California, or Her, represent a sort of Arcadian symbol longed for, an Eve in an Eden, and this is the lament of Adam from Paradise Lost, so to speak.

[Craig2591]

I'm not much into poetry, but I enjoyed this.

[pinpen]

Very visual read, like the detail....nicly written.