Together Forever (Rap)

Another piece of writing that I also posted on my TeenInk portfolio. Beat and song description in Note For Reviewers.

Verse 1- Everday I feel so near/so undear/so ready to die/I feel this fear/drown myself in this spiritual beer/just wanna fly/everyday I tear/I sear/everyday I wonder why/
             and I can't do this alone/I'd rather just moan/and tie/my own noose/I need you God/your immovable stength like a moose/because if you carry me then I refuse/to give up/to them we'll just say whatever/with you/ the only direction we can go is up/
             never gonna go down/always gonna be safe and sound/an immovable mound/staying in this fight for one more round/continue to fight/continue to pound/that punching bag/only gonna get better/never gotta get redder/
             and t will be our letter/not the mad hatter/nah/nor the angry rapper/neither the former nor the latter/the devil's flag we 're gonna tatter/because me and you God/we're together forever/a deadly adder...

x2Chorus- Forever/we're together/together and one/together/forever/you make me better/and I and all see your glory like the fiery sun/together and forever we'll always be/you, I, the Spirit, and your son/together/t our letter/forever/always together like between us is a tether/that t/that will never become undone...

 

Verse 2- My acid rain has no pain/not when you're around/but I'll gladly take it/because no pain, no gain/you told us we'll suffer as you have/so let that happen/even if it drives me insane/because in the evergrowing darkness/surrounded by it/no light/even maybe not sane/I will never, ever turn my back on your name/

             and your fiery wrath will protect me/light shining on your fiery trojan horse's mane/and together we'll fight our enemies/the devil and his legion/till everyone has been slain/fighting this present darkness/will be our quest first/it'll be our main/choice of things/top fight/at least to me/every night/

             and I will not stop/till I have been slain/even in my human frailty you make me strong/and I will not stop till I have limbed the tallest mountain/walked through every desert/crossed every ocean and sea/and proclaimed your name/I'd still let them make their own choice/not gonna force it on them/but I won't rest until everywhere I or someone else proclaim/you so everyone knows and has the choice to make/and I will not rest/till Heaven has come to Earth or for me/and at your blessed beautiful feet/I unworthy to see more than that/there I am lain...

 

x2Chorus- Forever/we're together/together and one/together/forever/you make me better/and I and all see your glory like the fiery sun/together and forever we'll always be/you, I, the Spirit, and your son/together/t our letter/forever/always together like between us is a tether/that t/that will never become undone...

Author's Note

This is just a rap I made. I make a lot, and generally are about my feelings in where I'm depressed. But this one is showing I can be happy and trust in the Lord, and we can fight together. This song is to this beat, which is not mine: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b0HzwydM9eg

Reviews

[iNSOMniAC]

Aww. :3
I love how the raps that you write aren't always about the daily things... it can be about pain, love, longing, or happiness.

[The StoryTeller]

Thank you! I mostly write whatever comes to my head, but I try to be diverse. Besides, with everything I think about, it is diverse. I haven't published all of my raps yet (no where near, I have over 50+) but as I do, you'll notice they're about public statements, past, anger, sadness, happiness, love, longing, etc, etc, the list goes on and on. It wasn't done on purpose, it was just done.

[♥ Ari Skye ♥]

Very cool!
I like how you show your spirituality in the rap. Very nice work!

[The StoryTeller]

Thank you! Although it's a new direction for me, despite how much I write in so many different areas (books, poems, songs, raps, etc.) and how I'm spiritual and a Christian, I haven't written much Christian. So I'm kind of trying it out. I still have trouble keeping my pain out of it though, as you might have noticed. Most Christian songs are happy. Anyways.... :P

[♥ Ari Skye ♥]

But that just shows you are a real person. Not some fake who acts like, just beacause you're a christian, you don't have any issues. I like that. I can't stand fake people.

[The StoryTeller]

So, you're saying go ahead and let my pain and problems fall through my raps??? So, unlike Newsboys, be more like NF and Eminem? (Eminem especially, even when not writing Christian, how he writes is exactly like you're saying.)

[♥ Ari Skye ♥]

I'm saying DO NOT hide who you are and what you feel. A real person feels pain regardless of what religion. Wether it be Christianity, Budism, Wicca, whatever, there is pain..
I don't like it when people don't write what they feel... Stop playing and be real.. That's what I feel. For me, I'll respect you more for being real...

[The StoryTeller]

Okay, so just write how I feel then. Gotcha. That's not hard, I do it all the time. The trick is listening to people's positive criticism or them saying how they like it, etc.

[♥ Ari Skye ♥]

Even if you get a negative review, it doesn't mean it's not good, it's just that person's opinon. Not everybody in the world likes everyone's work... Just remeber that!

[The StoryTeller]

Okay I will.

[♥ Ari Skye ♥]

Good. By the way, little brother, I like your pic. You're adorable!

[The StoryTeller]

Lol, thx, now if only I could figure out why when I upload from a phone it turns the picture sideways when it's uploaded. (It's not sideways on my phone) And that was me in a very academic prep this last Friday. :p

[♥ Ari Skye ♥]

It's so cute!!

[The StoryTeller]

xD Well, freshman girls DO seem to hang around me a lot. Along with some other grades...

[♥ Ari Skye ♥]

Oh, look at you being all mr. GQ.. lol

[The StoryTeller]

Lol, that's what my aunt says all the time. She says my cousin is her country kid, and I'm her GQ kid/ :p

[♥ Ari Skye ♥]

Lol. Well get your GQ on then.. lol

[The StoryTeller]

XD Ok then XD

[♥ Ari Skye ♥]

I'm sure those freshman girls are falling over themselves to get to you! Lol

[The StoryTeller]

lololololol I guess

[♥ Ari Skye ♥]

Look at you, being all modest and what not.. Lol

[The StoryTeller]

Not modest, honest. I don't see the beauty in me, etc, but hey, if others do whatever. XD

[♥ Ari Skye ♥]

Oh Good grief. Are you the male version of me? Cause you sure freaking sound like me!

[The StoryTeller]

I dunno.... o:

[♥ Ari Skye ♥]

I wouldn't be surprised if you are.. After all, Cool Girl is my psychic twin.. Lol

[The StoryTeller]

Hmmm, well, I definitely couldn't be then... XD

[♥ Ari Skye ♥]

Exactly.. I'm glad I have you two. Especially with the week I've been having...

[The StoryTeller]

Yeah, well I'm glad too. :) And lol, 21 more replies. XD

[♥ Ari Skye ♥]

LOL! Love you little brother!

[The StoryTeller]

............. :p

[Lizardo]

This is one great rap! I don't like rap, but I only hear the one the Mike shinoda (from linkin park) does, it's a good rap!

[The StoryTeller]

Lol, glad you liked it even though you don't like rap! :p

[Coyote Poetry]

Good flow of words. You need to read them. This year I will make Youtube videos when the warm days come. Verbal poetry is the future. I like the set-up and the energy in your words. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry and rap.
Coyote

[The StoryTeller]

Okay, I will do that. I'm thinking about making a Youtube account around the end of the school year and recording myself, then posting, seeing what you guys think. Anyways, glad you liked it. :)

[Coyote Poetry]

May find success. Many people find new following with verbal and visual poetry.

[The StoryTeller]

Lol, well, it seems I already have quite the following, with how many people are commenting on my works, and how many people are joining my group and sharing their deeper stuff and entrusting me with that, while also wanting to hear from me too. Almost as if when the group at 63 members they could forget about me, they haven't, even the ones who don't know me. As you and some other writers do.

[Coyote Poetry]

Writing is hard work. We need to network, create and read. Reading is give and take. We can learn from each other.

[The StoryTeller]

Agreed. I'm just kind of swamped in reading right now. :P

[Cool Girl]

I like this! Ive never really written a rap, but Ive written songs. I love how you express your feelings in this one:)

[The StoryTeller]

I'm glad you liked it! It's a little more Christian than what I generally write (in all forms of my writing, although I am Christian) but I think it's a good change.

[Cool Girl]

I'm Roman Catholic... :)

[The StoryTeller]

Hey, I don't get angry or judge others so.... Besides, at least you believe in God. :) I believe in not forcing people to have faith, or to have a certain type. The closest thing that comes to what I am is Baptists. I don't really believe in rules the Churchs' place, I mostly base my faith after the Bible, God's own word.

[Cool Girl]

That's cool:)

[The StoryTeller]

Lol, well, I believe in free will, and that everyone has a choice, and that no one can, should, or will take that away. Anyone who tries to do that (as wrong as it may be that I do this) I hate.