Unuttered heart

A man unable to express his love to a woman whom he adores. As far as she knows their relationship is platonic.

You do not smile, as no smile expands
My affection for you such as the hollow seas stretch.
You do not speak, as no sound mitigates my spirit
In such a manner reminiscent of the joy of an infant's chortle.
Your eyes are alien, for no humanly character
Entrances my spirit such as yours do,
And your figure is beyond sublimity,
For your very stance is not that which can be matched.

I apologize for plethoric complement,
As I know in your good conscience you shan't concur,
And in apology I solicit your forgiveness,
As your kindness is unworthy of my faults.
Would you ever leave me for another more
Compatible of your goodness?
And if ever we do remain together,
Will my ordinary soul prove sufficing
To entertain you?

Ah! but we’re not together, as no romance
Touches upon our nearness!
We exchange smiles
Yet you know not what mine entails.
As far as your comprehension announces we're but friends,
And our love the more platonic.
As far as you remark I am distant,
For your likeness renders me anxious.
I cannot be composed around you
For I desire more than friendship,
And I will therefore be uneasy,
And hence faintheartedness
My heart shall rest unspoken.

Reviews

[Chris]

I wonder how this was be before you translated it to English... I really DO understand what you've said and even how you framed the thoughts, but the flavor of the language has THAT feel of being lost in translation rather than with intent.

Our personality doesn't always accurately reflect whom we are - as a person. Aloofness is more reflective of not feeling comfortable enough with our current (and perhaps past?) acquaintances to permit being vulnerable or at least willing to accept that we can realistically care OR be cared about. The over-reactive self (or even a public's) perception of one's social status - whether of wealth, intelligence, political or professional status can be a taught rather than a natural assumption. Anyways... The thoughts expressed in your work didn't seem unemotional nor uncaring.

[Wall Hermitt]

Thank you Cris. It means so much that you took the time and effort to review my poem with such depth. I very much appreciate it.

[Ben]

I hope you do well in the contest, I like this poem, speaks things I wasn't finding the words to speak, feels things so maturely, deals with them so delicately, things usually finding themselves only in the mind, never uttered, exactly how you un pretentiously display it

[Wall Hermitt]

Thanks so much Ben. Feel pleased you liked it and took the time to write a review. Really appreciate it.

[Ben]

Hey man, if this thing was working properly, you would have 5,000 fans soon

[Ben]

In no time

[Ben]

It's always awkward to say, you're doing great though man

[Wall Hermitt]

Waw cool. I'll forever be grateful. Thanks a lot. Guess I should continue uploading more stuff. Can't wait to check out your writing though.

[Konigin]

Wow. I love the idea behind this poem. It captured me first. Then as I started reading.... the wording was astounding. I felt the longing and love of the man. I also felt the way the woman seemed to just brush him away. Your poem is realistic and so it hit hard on the heart chords. :) I liked it. Superb write, friend.

[Wall Hermitt]

Thanks Chelsea for the thoughtful and positive review! I'm really glad you liked it.

[Konigin]

You're welcome! :) Question, What do you go by? Is it Wall or Hermitt or Wall Hermitt or...?

[Wall Hermitt]

Wall is fine. Wall Hermitt even better. Just joking - you can call me anything really. As soon as I realize you're talking to me I'll answer. How about you?

[Konigin]

Okay. Sounds good. I usually go by Chelsea.... but some people feel inclined to give me nicknames... Its all up to you Wall.

[Wall Hermitt]

Well nice to meet you Chelsea.

[Konigin]

Nice to meet you too Wall. :)

[I Am Svetlana]

I feel like this was a conversation between the man and the woman, when I read this. The woman speaking to the man first, then man apologizing and saying the second stanza, then the woman ending with the last stanza. It's hard for some to express their feelings for one another, which I'm sure is truly difficult, but possible. It's not easy to find love nowadays and people feel that expressing your emotions is a major part of it. Communication is key in any relationship. Beautiful write!

[Wall Hermitt]

Thank you for the review Svetlana. You've actually given me a couple of things to think about. The idea behind an 'exchange' between a man and a woman is very perceptive and analytical of you - not what I intended but after all poetry is literature, and literature promotes unearthing what the conscious and subconscious mind is trying to communicate. There cannot be a right or wrong answer.

Thank you - again.

[I Am Svetlana]

I'm glad that I could see it a different way then and give you new things to think about. I always like seeing things from a new perspective and giving people new things to think about. It could be read either way, but I love the idea and story behind it! Truly beautiful work!

[Robbie~xoxo~]

Nicely done!... I felt the longing for more than a friendship...
So much emotion flows from your ink... the pain of wanting to express your love
is evidently clear, yet you hold back...if only... (sigh)

Beautifully expressed!

Robbie~xoxo~:)

[Wall Hermitt]

Thanks Robbie xoxo!

[Robbie~xoxo~]

It's my pleasure! :)

[Vanessa van Gersie]

You remind me of shakespeare..in a good way.Your play with words is fascinating you keep the reader engrossed till the very last word.great write.

[Wall Hermitt]

I've never been complemented in such great way. Thank you.

[Vanessa van Gersie]

It's true :) you're welcome.