Karmah

Her crumbling smile pleased me.

 

 

 

Late Summer Bloom

(1): Karmah

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I well mis you, Blear,

Love,

Karmah.

 

 

"Blear?"

 

"Sounds more like: Blur!"

 

She sealed the letter with a small gray heart, her black eyes leveling up at me with a genuine glint. I remember how they looked brown in the sunlight.

 

I only read it to correct her out loud. I was the Spelling Queen for a week -again- "That's not how you write my name," I snatched the eraser from her desk, "You're such an idiot." It pleased me, her crumbling smile that revived in my classmates' features.

 

"Blair, that's not a very nice thing to say to your friend before you go away." A mature female voice kindly reprimanded from a higher desk further in the front.

 

"She's so gonna haunt her with her Indian powers!"

 

"Eeh! Scary!"

 

Time flew like the pages of an open book fluttered by the autumn breath. I learned to tame a few strings in my heart just like I would do with the bright-red curls of my hair every morning.

 

But Karmah was what they said she was.

 

--- --- ---

Author's Note

*Image Title: I'm Still a Child
by `BenHeine
*Link: http://benheine.deviantart.com/art/I-m-Still-a-Child-173054890?q=boost%3Apopular%20child%20at%20heart&qo=2

Reviews

[Rikkevi Rue]

setting the possible disciplines of dialogue aside, the creativity in this piece is impressive. I love the flow of it and the high level of communication which takes the reader away to another place. You have such talent!

[Libby McKeown]

This is a very interesting piece, both poem and prose. I thoroughly enjoyed it in its entirety, and I look forward to more of your work.

[kaylynnmelody♥]

this was beautifully written! thank you for the post!

[Chris]

A descriptive narration that flows nicely. I agree with what Daydreamer54 said. The second to last paragraph is especially well-written; it's got a poetic feel to it. We get a good glimpse of who Blair is as a character in this short chapter.

I was confused by the dialogue, though, because I wasn't sure who was saying what, particularly for the last two lines of dialogue. Also, how old are they during this chapter? I picture them being in primary or elementary school, but the age would be something you might want to include somewhere. That kind of information is crucial.

Hope this helps. :)

[Dante Balsote]

I don't know if Karmah refers to Karma with an additional "h", self-explained by Karmah's own writing style or to a place in Iraq. Which is it, Bler?

[Calypso]

Nice way to start things off. I'll admit though that I thought that I was reading the middle of the book. Haha

[Daydreamer54]

The "time flew by..." saying was very beautiful and poetic. i'm intrested in learning about karmah and she has an intresting name by the way.

[Coyote Poetry]

I like the photos and the description. Create a good vision and I like the story in the chapter. A strong ending to a excellent opening chapter.
Coyote