I'm Sorry

There is a fine line between reality and insanity - I can't see that line anymore

I’m not really sure when it happened,

This break in reality,

I was told that I would be fine,

I had passed the hard part,

 

But it’s getting worse, so much worse,

I tripped, and now I’m stumbling back,

The darkness is pulling me back,

And I have no ability to stop it,

 

It’s worse than before,

Than the first time I cried out,

And everyone is counting on me,

Expecting me to be healed and ready,

 

But I’m broken, more than I thought,

Falling to pieces inside this façade,

And I can’t ask anyone to help me,

Because I am already disappointing them,

 

I am fading away, not only mentally,

This sickness is getting worse,

It’s changing the way I see things,

The way I think about things,

 

It’s changing me, into something weak,

And I had gotten so strong,

I had pushed past the anxiety,

Those demons had been solved,

 

But this disease came forward,

Bringing my old demons with,

And now I am falling with no escape,

Past the point of revival,

 

I am not strong enough anymore,

Maybe I never was, maybe it was,

All just me believing my own lies,

And now it’s too late,

 

So I’m not really sure when it happened,

When my tears turned back to acid,

And my heart to crumbling stone,

But I know that my reality has broken,

 

I’m not sure how long the battle will last,

Or who the winner will be,

I don’t even know if I have the strength to fight,

So I can’t promise you anything,

 

The darkness has surrounded me completely,

Nobody can save me at this point,

I don’t think I want to save myself,

Because I really don’t like the person I am,

 

I’m sorry you thought I was better,

I’m sorry that I couldn’t tell you everything,

I’m sorry that I am so messed up,

I’m sorry that you believed my flimsy lies,

 

My lungs are filling with poisoned water,

And my heart is emptied of dreaded blood,

But that’s okay, because my soul too is done,

With this god forsaken place of earth.

Reviews

[Tashida]

OHH... MY... GOSH!!! this was such a heartbreaking read. I've seen firsthand what depression can do to a person. But I also know it is possible to push past it. Don't give up!
One of the things I love about the poetry on here is you can feel the words. You can feel the heartbreak, anguish, joy, pain, sadness that went into writing it whatever the case may be. This poem definitely does that. Loved it :)

[WillaDanvers]

Thank you so much Tashida!

[Tashida]

Again I say you are so welcome! You're a very talented writer

[Harley Quinn]

Wow, A lot of powerful emotions and thoughts. I can relate and I'm sure a lot of others can as well. Your're very talented. Thanks for sharing you great work. Bravo.

[WillaDanvers]

Thank you very much!

[Hebe]

So much emotion, it pulls you in to keep reading. It's so sad that depression can torture your soul and not let you breath the sweetness of life. This is an excellent imagery of the depth of misery! Fantastic!

[WillaDanvers]

Thank you! :)

[Somu]

Nicely written man.. keep it up

[WillaDanvers]

Thank you Somu :)