Chapter One

in which we meet our heroine

Like a stone cast into still water, the howl shattered the tranquillity of the forest as it was thrown into the sky, drifting and spiralling towards the stars. A chorus of more howls trailed after the first, rising to become a cacophony of noise before they synced and created a natural harmony which rang out into the night. Abruptly, the symphony died down; the earth seemed to hold its breath as the forest became stifled, waiting for something to happen. No one but the wolves knew what they were listening for.

Either way, Kyra wasn’t curious. She huddled in the hastily built shelter she had made, several thin woollen blankets wrapped around her shoulders, and wondered how far away the wolves were from her camp. She listened for their howling to begin again, but the forest remained silent and so eventually, Kyra decided to venture out of her shelter. She swallowed her fear and threw off the warmth of the blankets, too thirsty to be worrying about what wild animals might be lurking in the trees.

After crawling out of the shelter, Kyra crept over to the pond she’d chosen to make camp by and looked down into its moonlit depths. Her own reflection caught her eye, causing Kyra to stare as she thought: is that really me? Her curled shoulder-length chestnut hair was dirty and tangled, lifting in the breeze and falling in front of her almond shaped, yellow-green eyes. Her lips were thinner than usual, cracked and dry, and as Kyra licked them she swore she could taste blood.

Ignoring her shocking reflection, Kyra crouched and scooped cold water into her dirty palms, sipping hurriedly. She washed her hands and splashed her face, gasping at the water’s chill. Refreshed, Kyra shuffled backwards to sit against a crooked oak tree and now that she was more relaxed, Kyra’s mind began to wander back to thoughts she knew she would rather not have - although it made no use trying to shoo them away.

Every time Kyra had a free moment, doubts would creep into her mind. Had she made the right decision? Looking around at the forest, knowing she had nothing to eat and no where to go, Kyra questioned whether she had made a mistake, but knew there was no going back now.

After all, what was there to go back to? The orphanage in town where she’d spent most of her life held nothing for Kyra; she’d never had any friends there, had only felt comfortable in her own company, and eventually rebellion had become the only option. The difficulty was having no one else to turn to, and nowhere else to stay - so Kyra did the only thing she’d thought possible in those last final days. Furious with the position she felt she had been forced into, Kyra had packed her bags and run to the only sanctuary she’d ever known: the forest, foreboding and enthralling at the same time.

Surely though, Kyra thought, it’s better to be here than back at the orphanage with Fionn, Deidre and the rest of them… If not for the other girls at the orphanage constantly harassing her, Kyra reckoned that she would have been able to be quite content in town. She would have continued with her work, met a nice boy and settled down to raise a family without any need for adventure or excitement.

  As it happened, Fionn seemed have a personal vendetta against Kyra and it seemed to have become her duty to make Kyra’s life extremely difficult. Vaguely, Kyra recalled a time when Deidre, Fionn’s closest friend, had cornered her whilst she was doing her chores.

“You shouldn’t be here,” the spiteful girl had whispered.

“W-what?” Kyra spluttered, confused. She’d stared at Deidre as the other girl cackled, reminding her of the witches the Church were constantly trying to hunt down. Goose bumps had risen on Kyra’s arms.

“Shall we just say, you’re different,” Deidre had snarled, inches from Kyra’s face. “It’s no surprise your parents got rid of you-”

Kyra’s head jerked upwards and she wrenched her eyes open; she’d fallen asleep against the oak tree, the memory floating to the surface of her mind like some waking nightmare. Shivering, Kyra tried to calm her racing heart and crept back into the safety of the shelter. Tired, aching, and craving the sound of the other girls sleeping in the dormitory she’d once called home, Kyra wrapped the woollen blankets around herself and closed her eyes, falling into a fitful sleep.

 

*

 

The lonely shelter was difficult to see when looked at from afar. It was made out of large dead branches that Kyra had found scattered around the area; she’d leant the branches side by side against the crooked oak tree and covered the ‘planks’ in bark, moss and ferns to try and make it water proof. So far the shelter had proved its worth, but Kyra was beginning to realise how cramped up she was inside it.

As light filtered through the cracks in the wood above her, Kyra groggily opened her eyes. She tried to sit up and only succeeded in bashing her head against the shelter roof.

“Ouch!” she exclaimed, rubbing the back of her head and beginning to stretch out her legs " which only caused a few of the wooden supports to shift and collapse on top of her. Kyra swore, not enjoying the start to the day. Grumbling to herself, Kyra pushed the branches off her legs and crawled out of the shelter. She yawned, stumbling over to the pond and rubbing sleep out of her eyes.

This time, when Kyra looked down into the pond, she wasn’t greeted by her own grimy reflection. Instead a tiny silver fish darted away from her shadow, its scales flashing in the morning sun. An uncomfortable twisting sensation panged in Kyra’s gut, and her fears were confirmed by a growling noise that accompanied the feeling. She was very, very hungry; Kyra couldn’t remember when her last real meal had been. She’d been living off scraps and berries since fleeing into the forest.

There was just one problem. Well, it was fun while it lasted, Kyra thought to herself as she sighed. She ran her hands through her hair in desperation; Kyra had known for a while that the only way to get anything to eat would mean going back into the town. She didn’t want to have to go back and be around so many people but she had accepted the fact that it was necessary to buy supplies. However, she also hated the idea that she might suffer the possibility of being recognised by grovelling and begging for food - and that was why there was only one option left.

Stealing.

Author's Note

I understand it's a tad boring :/ Just laying the scene. Please, let me know what you think!

Reviews

[patricia]

dont know how you can describe this story as boring..it jumps straight into drama, the exposition does a great job in orientating the reader. It conjured good vivid scenes i.e. with the make shift shelter etc. It makes the reader want to know more with the clues it leaves behind.
It is not yet a polished piece...one or two more drafts to tighten up the sentences would turn this quality work into a professional chapter.
My only misgivings were that the names did not seem to fit into the time period you have chosen. Other than that...Superb!

[Storm K.]

thanks so much for the review - I know what you mean, it's not a polished piece but it's only a first draft :)

[patricia]

so sorry to have offended with my comments on 'polished piece' I have been off line a few days working, and catching up with a back log of read requests I totally missed your author's note that mentions you are just laying the scene. I am so annoyed with myself for rushing. Trish.

[Storm K.]

Oh, there was no offence taken! I agree with you, it's not a polished piece but as I posted it as a first draft I already knew that :P Don't be annoyed with yourself, it's fine :)

[Fictionborn]

Let me start by saying that the descriptions of Kyra and her environment are very well penned. This chapter was very interesting by the detail you put into this.

However, I don't quite understand the white lines between "Kyra wrapped the woollen blankets around herself and closer her eyes, falling into a fitful sleep" & "The lonely shelter was difficult to see when looked at from afar." You explain clear enough the second part that she awakes after a sleep and the two parts seem to follow one another very naturally. Sticking them back together, in my opinion, would not change the message of the story.

Furthermore, I noticed that the heroine's name is used very often to describe her actions, perhaps you can alter some more between Kyra and other references. This will make her name sound less repetitive.

May you keep writing!

[Storm K.]

Thank you very much! :) Ah, I understand what you're saying but the reason for the break is kinda because it's 'next day', so the way I show time has passed is by having the *
Thanks again for the review!

[Jonathan Biswell]

My only issue is the spacing it makes it harder to read when everyone is bunch up together other then that great work

[Storm K.]

Thank you! :)

[Bianca]

i like it its sufficient and detailed really good job on this

[Storm K.]

Thanks :)

[Bianca]

your welcome

[Bianca]

its really good

[Nick.B]

Great first chapter, love the idea of the story and the way you describe(maybe jealous a little :D....just kidding) anyway great job...I will read your other chapters as well

[Storm K.]

thanks! Much appreciated :)

[The Fallen]

This book looks awesome!!!! :D I love it so far!! Imma keep reading!! *Clicks net chapter button*

[Storm K.]

:D thanks so much!

[Anonymous Girl]

OOO! Nice start! Loved it!

[Storm K.]

Thank you! :)

[Anonymous Girl]

No problem

[Ella]

First things first:
Indent this paragraph. "Every time Kyra had a free moment, doubts would creep into her mind. Had she made the right decision? Looking around at the forest, knowing she had nothing to eat and no where to go, Kyra questioned whether she had made a mistake, but knew there was no going back now."
Remove the quotations mark in this and add correct punctuation (whatever that is XD) " The difficulty was having no one else to turn to, and nowhere else to stay " so Kyra did the only thing she’d thought possible in those last final days."
Same thing as above here " However, she also hated the idea that she might suffer the possibility of being recognised by grovelling and begging for food " and that was why there was only one option left."
Finally, I would move the word stealing into the final sentence so it would be "blah blah blah, only one option left; stealing."

Now onto good stuff XD I loved this, and trust me if I didn't I would tell you it sucked. Other than the new minor grammar errors that I noticed just readinng it, it was amazing. I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE the detail you put into this and how you took this chapter to introduce the character and give her a small look into her past. It is very well written, like a scene played before me.
I love your writing style and the obvious patients you have with your story, you can tell the time you put into this, which is why I love it so much more, I am excited to see where this story goes and I am thrilled to see other pieces of your work.
One piece of advice, DO NOT under sny circumstance rush. If someone wants another chapter of your book and they are rushing you, tell them to shove it! This is a wonderful story, keep the details, and reread your work to make sure it makes sense before you post,