Chapter One

My soggy sneakers were running across the wet pavement, and feet were aching, but I knew I had to keep on running. Come on, Emily, you have to keep it up. I glanced across my shoulder, the agents were still after me. I guess secret agents can run fast, very fast. This was such a lousy day to be chased my secret agents from the Dark Side. It was 34 degrees, and very damp. I felt that this was probably a time to call for backup, but if I stopped once, in clear target of the agents, they were get me.

I spotted a dark alley. I supposed I could go in there to call for backup. It probably wasn’t the safest place in Retchington, but it would have to do. Once the agents were several meters behind me, I decided to take a sudden swerve into the alley as far as I could go. Once I lost sight of the Dark Side agents, I pulled out SIGNAL. It just looks like an iPhone, but . . once you looks closer, you can tell it’s not a phone. I hastily pulled off my gloves and pressed the button BACKUP. There were only two agents, but my friends, Alan and Liliana were not those two agents.

The only ones free were Morgan Adaline and Sawyer Thomas, the most arrogant and smug of junior spies. I realized I had no choice and checked off Morgan and sawyer for backup. I didn’t need to write my address, since the BACKUP attribute of the SIGNAL showed where the agent was, much to my pleasure. After I securely tucked my SIGNAL into my coat pocket and zipped it, I checked both sides for the agents. I ran out of the alley and realized  I was cornered on both sides. Why bother to pull out my taser when I had a weapon with me right then, me!

There were three agents surrounding me. I punched one in the nose and slammed him to the alley floor, and he fell to the ground, his face slightly bloody. The second I landed with I most unfortunate arm crack and a very forceful kick behind the knee. He feel to the ground in pain (I probably dislocated his elbow). The third was a bit scrawny, perfect target for a neck and stomach punch, and to top that off a smack in the face as well. Once all three agents were unconscious and slightly bloody on the ground, I saw Morgan and Sawyer running at top speed from the sidewalk across from me.

They seemed to be heading to the alley. “I’m quite sure we lost the agents.” Sawyer said, panting. “We were just running from seven agents, oh, you have three right here. What happened, car hit them? Certainly you could not be capable of this.” Morgan said smugly. “Actually I was capable of a punch on the nose, an arm crack, a kick behind the knee, another punch on the neck and the stomach and a face smack.” I said, every bit as smug and Morgan. “Well, once your bragging is done, me and Sawyer would like to held the world.” Morgan said rolling her eyes.

Me, Morgan and Sawyer ran from the alley, carefully watching for agents behind us. As much of  a know-it-all boy and superior-acting girl Sawyer and Morgan were, I had to ask them something. “Guys, what are those agents?” I asked, while we were running. “Yep, of course Emily doesn’t know anything.” Morgan rolled her eyes. Finally, Sawyer stepped in. “The agents who were just chasing us are working for CAPTAN. An agency trying to assassinate the president, and somewhat take over the country.” Sawyer said.

“Do we have more info?” I asked. That was not enough information for me. “Nope. Guess we’ll have to wait.” Sawyer said, straightening his glasses. “Should we move the bodies?” I asked. I received no answer from the two, so I left the three dead-looking bodies in the alleyway.

Reviews

[matrixmark]

Apart from some grammatical errors this was pretty damn good.
You introduced your story with a good chase scene between the agents and a 14 year old girl and it was pretty intense. I liked the name 'signal' - good use of thr imagination and it fitted well with the story.
When a new character speaks, always use a new paragraph for that talker.

Overall, i enjoyed this piece.

Mark.

[Writer-Girl]

Thanks! I always love constructive feedback

[matrixmark]

Keep writing. This story has legs

Mark.

[K.L. Ravns]

I loved the way you introduced the scene. Overall a good read.at first I wondered about some of the wording when characters are speaking but then i reminded myself that that might be how a junior spy thinks and speaks. I think you have room to expand the fight scene. It seems like taking down those three agents were a little easy considering she had just called for backup. if you want to keep it that way you might want to work it into the dialogue that she thought it was easier than expected; that they didn't stand a chance against her. overall great job. very descriptive. keep up the great work!

[Writer-Girl]

Thanks!
I think I'll work on it

[Tony Jordan]

I think you telegraphed that the bodies arent dead by using the term 'dead-looking' - it would be better served using much more subtle language.
:)

[Writer-Girl]

Yea. I couldn't really think of a more rich word. I'll edit though.