Why Love Is So Distant?

Distance is what we make, though there is no word like 'distance' in the holy book of love.

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Why Love Is So Distant?
                            -By Gamitsuki
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Why love is so distant?
Is rue is all my heart is?
Who is the one responsible?
How much far is this?

For every moment there is,
A moment of agony is hurled deep.
Left behind only are trails of bits,
As far as where my memories last asleep.

I slept under the sleepless sky,
The world felt so distant.
I walked down the dark roads,
Pierced deep by the hollowness; I felt barely extant.

My heart became heartless,
Now and then - I never felt anything again.
Neither pain nor happiness,
Only the hollowness my heart sang in refrain.

Why love is so distant?
Is rue is all my heart is?
Who is the one responsible?
How much more there is?

Author's Note

Hope you enjoy....:-))))
It's a sad love poetry.....

Reviews

[MissEponine16]

Hi, I'm from the writing forum thingy. So your poem has potential, it has a really nice meaning. The problem is the wording really. "For every moment there is, A moment of agony is casted." casted is a middle English word rarely used in this era. it just feels out of place to me That doesn't mean that I'm correct, though, I could be wrong about your wording choice. It's a nice poem!

[Gamitsuki]

I know about what you are saying, i knew this fact but still wanted to give it a try......i think i will have to write it again....thank you very much for your correction.....i appreciate it very much...

[Gamitsuki]

There....i did some changes in the poetry. The meaning would remain the same. I would like to hear out what you what to say about those changes..please...

[MissEponine16]

Your changes definitely served you well! it sounds a lot more natural now and still has it's good meaning! You definitely show promise for professional writing some day!

[mou]

Really last four lines have no answer..reflection of a good poetic mind..I like your writing

[Gamitsuki]

Thank you mou..... :-)))) glad you liked it.....

[Sami Khalil]

When things go wrong, we like to blame it on love or any other reason. We need to hold something or someone responsible but ourselves. Then we lose sleep and the pain begins. Some can be blamed on those things but sometimes we need to see what have we done wrong. An excellent poem...:)......

[Gamitsuki]

thank you so much sami.......:-)))

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome. .....:)......

[Wordzika]

Love is relentless as it is and the distance makes it all the more unbearable- Your poem is a plaint of a heart, broken and shattered.

[Gamitsuki]

thank you for your comment......i appreciate it very much....:-))))

[Coyote Poetry]

Love is hard to find and harder to hold on to.
"Why love is so distant?
Is rue is all my heart is?
Who is the one responsible?
How much more there is?"
I enjoyed the poetry and I liked the questions asked. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Gamitsuki]

thank you so much....and yeah, love is hard to find and harder to hold on to but that also makes it more beautiful to fall in love and maintain it eternally.....thank you once again...

[Coyote Poetry]

A good write and you are welcome.

[Bear]

Writing in English when it is not your native language is the hardest thing you can do, English has many words that sound alike but have different meanings. So I applaud your bravery for doing it, and some of your phrasing is things that get lost in translation. If I may be so bold I will send you a message with an edit critique.

[Gamitsuki]

thank u very much......i appreciate your review....and thnk u for your critique again.....that helped me a lot.....i must keep that in my mind from next time.....:-)))