Why Love Is So Distant?

Why Love Is So Distant?

A Poem by Gamitsuki
"

Distance is what we make, though there is no word like 'distance' in the holy book of love.

"
----------------------------------------------------
Why Love Is So Distant?
                            -By Gamitsuki
----------------------------------------------------

Why love is so distant?
Is rue is all my heart is?
Who is the one responsible?
How much far is this?

For every moment there is,
A moment of agony is hurled deep.
Left behind only are trails of bits,
As far as where my memories last asleep.

I slept under the sleepless sky,
The world felt so distant.
I walked down the dark roads,
Pierced deep by the hollowness; I felt barely extant.

My heart became heartless,
Now and then - I never felt anything again.
Neither pain nor happiness,
Only the hollowness my heart sang in refrain.

Why love is so distant?
Is rue is all my heart is?
Who is the one responsible?
How much more there is?


© 2015 Gamitsuki


Author's Note

Gamitsuki
Hope you enjoy....:-))))
It's a sad love poetry.....

My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Featured Review

Hi, I'm from the writing forum thingy. So your poem has potential, it has a really nice meaning. The problem is the wording really. "For every moment there is, A moment of agony is casted." casted is a middle English word rarely used in this era. it just feels out of place to me That doesn't mean that I'm correct, though, I could be wrong about your wording choice. It's a nice poem!

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Gamitsuki

6 Years Ago

I know about what you are saying, i knew this fact but still wanted to give it a try......i think i .. read more
Gamitsuki

6 Years Ago

There....i did some changes in the poetry. The meaning would remain the same. I would like to hear o.. read more
MissEponine16

6 Years Ago

Your changes definitely served you well! it sounds a lot more natural now and still has it's good me.. read more



Reviews

[send message][befriend] Subscribe
mou
Really last four lines have no answer..reflection of a good poetic mind..I like your writing

Posted 5 Years Ago


Gamitsuki

5 Years Ago

Thank you mou..... :-)))) glad you liked it.....
When things go wrong, we like to blame it on love or any other reason. We need to hold something or someone responsible but ourselves. Then we lose sleep and the pain begins. Some can be blamed on those things but sometimes we need to see what have we done wrong. An excellent poem...:)......

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Gamitsuki

6 Years Ago

thank you so much sami.......:-)))
Sami Khalil

6 Years Ago

You are welcome. .....:)......
Love is relentless as it is and the distance makes it all the more unbearable- Your poem is a plaint of a heart, broken and shattered.

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Gamitsuki

6 Years Ago

thank you for your comment......i appreciate it very much....:-))))
Love is hard to find and harder to hold on to.
"Why love is so distant?
Is rue is all my heart is?
Who is the one responsible?
How much more there is?"
I enjoyed the poetry and I liked the questions asked. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Gamitsuki

6 Years Ago

thank you so much....and yeah, love is hard to find and harder to hold on to but that also makes it .. read more
Coyote Poetry

6 Years Ago

A good write and you are welcome.
Writing in English when it is not your native language is the hardest thing you can do, English has many words that sound alike but have different meanings. So I applaud your bravery for doing it, and some of your phrasing is things that get lost in translation. If I may be so bold I will send you a message with an edit critique.

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Gamitsuki

6 Years Ago

thank u very much......i appreciate your review....and thnk u for your critique again.....that helpe.. read more
Hi, I'm from the writing forum thingy. So your poem has potential, it has a really nice meaning. The problem is the wording really. "For every moment there is, A moment of agony is casted." casted is a middle English word rarely used in this era. it just feels out of place to me That doesn't mean that I'm correct, though, I could be wrong about your wording choice. It's a nice poem!

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Gamitsuki

6 Years Ago

I know about what you are saying, i knew this fact but still wanted to give it a try......i think i .. read more
Gamitsuki

6 Years Ago

There....i did some changes in the poetry. The meaning would remain the same. I would like to hear o.. read more
MissEponine16

6 Years Ago

Your changes definitely served you well! it sounds a lot more natural now and still has it's good me.. read more

Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

503 Views
6 Reviews
Rating
Added on August 27, 2015
Last Updated on August 28, 2015
Tags: love, distance, rue, sad, agony, memories, loneliness, heart, hollowness

Author

Gamitsuki
Gamitsuki

India



About
I am a boy who loves singing, poetry, athletics, writing, studying, etc. I like to make friends and sometimes I over-do it. I love my mother very very much. When I was small, I had got a neck disab.. more..

Writing

Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..


P is for Pain P is for Pain

A Poem by Devons


Karma Karma

A Story by Taylor