Curse You, Thank You and Goodbye

Curse You, Thank You and Goodbye

A Chapter by A.C. Lei

Hurt. Pain.
That's what you had inflicted on me.
I thought from the start I was someone special,
Someone you can be yourself with,
Someone to witness your genuine smile,
Your real tears,
Someone you can come to
To confide with your anger,
To share each of your laughters
Each of your dreams
I really thought I could be different to you,
Someone who stands out among the other girls that pass by,
To show you that what you see is real
Not just a facade, not just a shallow fake
But I thought wrong.
I could've shown you simple joys,
Opened your eyes to what's worth seeing,
What's worth caring,
I could've shown you what it meant,
To value something more precious
Than the expensive things that you buy
To enjoy the comfortable silence
Rather than to drink and dance the night away
Wasting yourself, the trust your parents gave you.
But you chose meaningless pleasures
That always end as the night leaves
You chose the fake scenes,
And the plastic dreams
The expensive leather
The useless clutter
You easily throw away like yesterday's trash.
I don't know what I ever saw in you
Call me vapid, call me a sucker
To be easily swayed by a pretty face
A pretty face engrossed with vanity,
Now that I can see
Looks and charm, that's all you were
I thought I saw a human inside you,
A soul within the twinkle of your eyes
Dim but still could be bright
I thought I could be the gasoline
To brighten that flame.
But I would be a fool
To believe that anymore.
You're nothing but a liar,
A duffer, a thief,
You stole my eyes,
My breath.
Now my lungs are full of smoke,
My eyes flooding with unshed tears,
My lips quivering at the thought of you,
But I know this is just normal.
To withdraw from a drug, from a habit
I welcome the pain.
They say that if you love someone you have to set them free
Only a fool would believe that,
A prose made by philosophers and romantics
But I must try, foolishness be damned.
If this is love,
I must set myself free.
If there was one thing that I'm thankful for
In meeting you,
Is that you made me remember
That I need to love myself more,
That for me to love myself,
To make myself happy,
I needed to be free.
Thank you.
Goodbye.


© 2017 A.C. Lei


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Added on January 24, 2017
Last Updated on January 24, 2017
Tags: Heartbreak, grief, anger, acceptance, moving on


Author

A.C. Lei
A.C. Lei

Philippines



About
"I'm a mystery, wrapped in an enigma, hidden by a riddle and guarded by a sphinx." I find inspiration in the darkness, in the hallowed pits of grey and the abysmal smoke of nothingness. Basically, .. more..

Writing
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A Chapter by A.C. Lei