Borrowed Days

A confession and a goodbye.

Years were blurs of time’s cruel jest

And past is where my smiles lived best.       .

But hour has come that you depart

When grief conspired to pierce my heart.

 

Before you leave to venture seas,

Spare me a second of true release.

To spill my thoughts, allow my pen,

Confession’s voice--untamed by then.

 

The day my eyes laid on your face,

You took my soul to a distant place                   

Where summer dwells in selfless time,

Where rainbows dance in eternal rhyme.

 

But stars forbade our paths to meet 

And stolen glances failed to heat

Desires of infatuation’s game

--We knew each other just by name.

 

For four years I withheld the facts;

I buried them beneath my acts,

Dismissed the hope of knowing you,

And wished for dreams worth coming true.

 

I caught a chance of three years late.

What sweet reward of such long wait!

You’re like an old friend--fun and kind.

Your clever words have charmed my mind.

 

But you must go as fate dictates

And earn experience across some states.

Still, I thank God for a generous grace

For brief encounters, for borrowed days…

 

 

 

Author's Note

I had this secret crush on an amazing guy for four years in high school but we never had a chance to really get to know each other because he's on the other section. The only time, I think, that we were almost close to a hello was when we represented our batch in a spelling bee when we were freshmen. Last year, I had the courage to befriend him on Facebook and I was thrilled when he messaged me with a thank-you and a follow-up "Finally, we've become friends even just on Facebook." We drop occasional hellos and how-are-you's every now and then. He was fun to talk to and I can't help but wish we had become friends way sooner.

He'll leave the country on April 19 and spend 6 months on a ship. I might never have a chance to see him again so... as my advance birthday dare to myself, I wrote him a poem. Nothing serious. :P

Reviews

[Saddam]

For four years I withheld the facts;
I buried them beneath my acts,
Dismissed the hope of knowing you,
And wished for dreams worth coming true.

It is the same story with me too but little twist, we met for some days and then she said me Goodbye for forever. Ahh... pain....

[Frieda P]

Ahh young love within hopes and formidable dreams, I remember it well. ;) Love the lines...

Where summer dwells in selfless time,
Where rainbows dance in eternal rhyme

Wish I had written those, intense rhymes of life's indulgences, albeit bittersweet.

[Nusquam Esse]

Wow, it takes some serious guts to write something like this for someone else; for someone like me who avoids writing anything personal, this is definitely bold. As for the poem itself, as always I enjoyed reading it. For the most part the flow here is good, as are the rhymes--a few could be better, but probably not without losing the meaning and sincerity of the poem, so I wouldn't touch em. ;) As for the flow, there are only a couple parts which stand out to me, all in the first stanza; the first two lines, when read aloud, the pacing between the two is awkward--there is too much of a difference in syllables between the two. And then the next two lines are just worded awkwardly, although their flow is better. Sorry that I couldn't give you a higher quality review, but my mind has been a bit foggy lately.