TICK TALK

Some thoughts when my ticker takes the final curtain

TICK   TALK

tick

tick                     

tick                      dear

tick                      god

tick

tick                      not

tick                      long

tick                      now

tick

tick                      dad

tick                      there’s                          

tick                      some

tick                      thing

tick                      I

tick                      couldn’t

tick                      tell

tick                     

tick                      I ….

tick                      I ...

tick                      can't                    

tick

tick                      re

tick                      mem

tick                      ber

tick

tick                     cuddling                   

tick                     sweet

tick                     little

tick                     Tom

tick

tick                      lying

tick                      on

tick                      our

tick                      backs

tick                      watching                      

tick                      the

tick                      stars

tick

tick                      oh!

tick                      those

tick                      sweet

tick                      plums

tick               

tick                      I

tick                      do, do

tick                      love

tick                      you

tick                      Mary

tick

……..

……..

tick                      mummy

tick                      I

tick                      stole

tick                      your

tick                      purse

….                        sor…..

….

                                     

Reviews

[Lorry]

Perfect. I really would have been disappointed, after your fast burn suspense, to hear the words being completed.
As life keeps reminding us, it is fickle and time's time when last orders are called.
It does make me doubt all these great and the goods famous last words. They would be way more believable if just one of them was "AAARRGH!"
I hope my last words are "knock, knock!" and my gravestone says "get off my head!" 😀

[alanwgraham]

Thanks Lorry. Going out with a laugh sounds a great idea. I think that live for the day is a great ide
a
a
a
a
----------------------------------------------------splat-----
hear lies AWG

[H.E Watson]

I loved this format, really different. I definitely should spice up my regular rhyming format with something a bit different. A really unique poem, I loved it!

[alanwgraham]

Thanks H.E. it is good to try something different. Some of them don't work but what the hell!
All the best.
Alan

[Pete]

surprise ending as the pendulum of your creative structure leads us undeniably where you desire to take us - an aged confession of a foolish youthful memory. too bad we can't go back in time to undue the foolishness of youth with the wisdom of age. good stuff says i ... :)

[alanwgraham]

Thanks Pete. This isn't meant to be too serious as how do we even know they are our last th

[Pete]

there's a time for everything. we don't know until we arrive there. denial ain't just a river in egypt though ... :)

[alanwgraham]

Ha ha. Sorry for my warped sense of humour there. Maybe a long drawn out last thought lasting maybe ten years might be best. But when to start.?
Cheers ,
Alan

[Paul Bell]

It must be compulsory to steal mummy's purse, probably some unwritten law out there.
At the end though, probably a million things you wished you had done, probably a million things you wished you hadn't done. As long as you can walk tall, or maybe lie tall so to speak.

[alanwgraham]

Thanks Paul. You are right. We talk about last thoughts but they are probably mundane. Anyway how do you know they will be your last?
Cheers.
Alan

[jacob erin-cilberto]

so many things on our deathbed that we would remember to forget...and wished we had said...but as the Bob Seeger song said..."I wish I didn't know now what I didn't know then"

with age comes wisdom...but maybe at a price.

love the construction of this piece...
two halves...time ticking, and memory ticking away just as the reckoning comes.
j.

[alanwgraham]

Thanks Jacob. The phrase tick tock popped into my head and when I wrote it down the structure just appeared with a heart beating and final thoughts. I know it's not great poetry but it is a bit different .
All the best!
Alan

[barleygirl]

When I first opened this & saw all the ticks, I immediately zoomed back to your confessional on my Tick poem, about how you pick an average of 44 ticks off yourself after hiking!?!?! Nevermind, I've had too much coffee. I like how your sporadic thought train is believably scattered & fragmented, just as one might imagine it would be as we blink out . . . also I love how you do not complete some thoughts, but you state the thought fragment in such a way, the reader's imagination goes off to finish the idea in various ways. You've gone off the deep end with this one (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[alanwgraham]

Thanks Margie. This wasn't meant too seriously. The format just fell into place when I wrote down the title and seemed good to me. As for last words they'll probably be quite mundane - eg don't forget to feed the goldfish! What we say and do during our life is more important.
Anyway spring is on its way - and two more grandchildren!
All the best,
Alan

[barleygirl]

Congrats on the new spring growth! *wink! wink!*

[Betty Hermelee]

Very original style! You're talking to God; probably on your last legs, remembering things you want to say before he takes you; your father is already "up there" and time time is ticking away. Love the uniqueness of this poem;, go Alan, and thank you so much for your review of SPIRITS OF BORNEO, very in-depth and always helpful to a novice!! Yours , Betty

[alanwgraham]

Thanks Betty. Perhaps we need to focus on the everyday thoughts. Accentuate the positive, I think someone said, and old blue eyes said, ' regrets, I've had a few.' unfortunately we can't report back on our last words.
Probably mundane - don't forget to feed the cat!.
Thanks again.
Alan

[Betty Hermelee]

I totally agree, each day at a time, don’t look too far ahead.

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

Yes, you remind us so succinctly, and with great use of repetition "tick"), of how life"s moments flash by us. We have to say the important things before our clock on this earth stops ticking. Who knows when words will be final, or even worse - too late. Love the right-left format you use here and the perfect brevity of the lines, the dramatic pauses... Absolutely stellar work here Alan my friend!

[alanwgraham]

You are very kind Annette. I did get a bit of a buzz when the structure of the poem just seemed to appear but I was afraid there wasn't enough content. It's really a great help to get feedback.
All the best.
Alan

[DIVYA]

This is beautiful and inspirational. I could think of my own list of thoughts. They seem so unending right now and yet life is so finite.

[alanwgraham]

Apologies for missing this Divya. I agree that thoughts seem unending but I think when you are young life does stretch out. From my perspective the sands are running through my fingers.
Take care and tell us your thoughts!
Alan

[Kathy Van Kurin]

This was really a look at a line of life memory. Difficult times and easier too in history of one's life. Tick, tick. Yes I see the moments fleeting. We life in time but God made time but does not need it. Your above poem was a joy to read and just be thankful I have life.
Thanks for writing and blessings,
Kathy

[alanwgraham]

Thanks for reading this and your very perceptive thoughts. I suppose we can guess but we don't know what we might think. I suppose it depends on the circumstances. Maybe working through the regrets and mistakes before is a good idea. That sounds a bit like religion!
Regards,
Alan

[Kathy Van Kurin]

Alan,
I love to think about many things. I think it makes us more satisfied that we are understanding our own growth as people. To come to a place of acceptance and contentment. Jesus was and is my turning point.
Kathy

[Chris Shaw]

Quite unique Alan. Interesting to ponder on how our last minutes will be. I certainly hope I go out with a smile on my face and no tears, either from me or anyone else who happens to be around. Sometimes I think it would be best to be alone. I'd probably say a very quick sorry for my misdeeds and then try and concentrate on happy things. You appeared to be working backwards here. Almost like rebirth, Going back to the beginning. Food for thought. You got me pondering. A belated happy new year to you and yours.

Chris

[alanwgraham]

Ta Christine. God only knows where this came from but I got to the simple structure almost by accident. It is good to try something new. As for our last thoughts we'll never know.
Cheers, Alan
Ps I'm reading my 'To a Man' poem at a local Burns night so we'll see what the experts think

[Chris Shaw]

Well done you. I will have to refresh my memory and go back in your archives to find it again. Not long till Burns night. Is that the 24th or 25th? I can never remember.

[alanwgraham]

I wrote that one recently Chris - its old the third most recent!