Death

The blood stained her new dress as she held her dead mother in her arms, there were at least five or six others that lay around the tavern floors bleeding out onto the wood. Her heart raised as she heard the screams erupted from out side of the tavern, people ran as blood seemed to splash against the window. She was so scared that all she could do was hold her mother and pray, she prayed that what ever was killing everyone in her town that she would be sparred.

She had heard rumors of a man who seemed human but when you touched him he was cold as ice and his eyes were red like blood, she feared these rumors to be true. Her thoughts were broken when the door creaked open and her only thought was to live, so she placed her body under her mothers and hoped she wasnt found, her heart raised and her breathing hitched as she saw the boots walking across the floor. In a blink they were gone and she cried.

Author's Note

This is very short chapter only because I am getting the feel for this site.

Reviews

[Rob Santana]

I think this a good beginning to a suspenseful story. I hope you continue it, I would love to read it.

[Matthew Smith]

Definitely not the worst thing I've ever read. Like the previous commenter mentioned, it's very short. How does it being short involve the site?

A few grammatical errors. Never a great idea to jump knee-deep into blood if you're only in the first chapter or two. It happens sometimes, but this doesn't appear to be a case in which it should. I assume you're going for a horror feel. If so, space it out some into an entire prologue (if that's what this is intended to be.) Think of a slasher flick. Similar principle. They generally go for the idea of an unstoppable murdering psychopath. That's clichéd to the point of comedy. If that's what you're going for, well, good luck, good day.

[Joan*Eckhart]

Despite being very short and having a few grammatical errors, I have to say this was quite an intriguing piece of work. Are you going to write a full chapter here? I'll be able to review it better if there is more to read.