Blue-Black Lake

Curse the lovely hands

That untied these feet,

Lifted this head, and 

Mended these broken wings!

To a hapless, uncaged bird,

The sky’s a trackless maze;

The sun’s a half-blind god’s

Infernal, merciless gaze.

Why teach a bondman

The songs of freedom?

His loveless heart’s a beast,

A slumbering dragon

Guarding a treasure trove of dreams.

But if it wakes, and

Is left alone, untamed,

It’ll rage and rage

Till it reigns supreme,

Sitting on the throne

Of an unholy kingdom of its own.

Then tender hopes are crushed

Like soft grapes in a press;

Then crimson tears fall on

Virginal white linen;

Then children weep

For the sins of men and women.

Oh, foolish, foolish hearts,

Your heaven’s a lie!

Love’s a blue-black lake

Where doleful dreamers drown.

Reviews

[Eilis]

I hope it won’t offend if I say this because I do feel you’ve worked toward this darker kind of alienated energy in the poem. I read Dante’s Inferno with my kids not too long ago and the feeling I had while reading that is very similar to the feeling your poem gives me. The disillusionment and disappointment at having been set free only to realize the limits and pain implicit in the freedom. Love is the source of pain here. I can certainly relate. The freedom and abandon that accompany the initiation of love growing into a kind of terror and internal violence. To love is you lose control of the self. To allow another to take control, as it were, with no possibility of foreseeing the outcome. Your poem says to me that love itself is a place one drowns in, and the lost lover the torturer. Once we know the freedom of letting go for another, we are never the same. But also, if that love is not the lasting connection we hoped for there is a sense of being lost to all things. As your poem shows the entirety of existence feels menacing and off-balance. This is a powerful expression of the sense of not being in control of one’s own destiny. Could be a religious connection that has been shattered or a more palpable connection lost through death, rejection or the unpredictable nature of relationships. The style lends it weight, for me. Nice work on this.

[Laz K.]

No offence at all! Everything you said in your review is spot on. I'm especially glad that you see how the message in this poem can be generalized and applied to situations other than romantic. ("Could be a religious connection that has been shattered or a more palpable connection lost through death, rejection or the unpredictable nature of relationships.")

Thank you very much for your insightful words.

[Coyote Poetry]

Powerful and strong words and thoughts shared my friend.
"Then children weep
For the sins of men and women.
Oh, foolish, foolish hearts,
Your heaven’s a lie!"
I liked the above lines. I believe Hemingway wrote. "The children pay for the sins of their father." Outstanding poetry.
Coyote

[Ruth]

Dark and profound, philosophical in it pristine articulation. The heart's doubts apparent woven within and yet such a bold thread throughout that being "free" has its costs...an incredibly powerful poem that seems to burn bridges each line :)

[Laz K.]

Freedom can be the best or the worst gift. In "Waiting for Godot," the slave is called Lucky. He doesn't want to be freed, and attacks those that threaten the happiness he finds in his bandage.
Thanks for reading and commenting. :)

[Lorry]

All hearts are or can be foolish, good and bad and come what may, it always comes, whether we are ready for it or not.
Yet the dreamers dream and at least the writer in us gets plenty of subject matter from it, no matter how many plasters it takes to hold our hearts together.
From the opening line to end and second and third reading, a very relatable nod of agreement and knowing, combined with some excellent words and phrase choice, brought back the moments that paths change in an instant, yet the constant thoughts linger of the shadows they leave behind in the darkest recesses of our minds.

[Laz K.]

Every word of your comment is gold. I love it when people are able to mirror one another's experiences. It's one of the rare instances when communication and comprehension perfectly overlapped. Amazing. I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

[Lorry]

You're very welcome.

[John the Baptist]

For something that vast numbers seek, romantic love seems to treat a lot of people badly. The speaker here now laments the thing that once gave him hope and has seemingly gone sour on love, writing it off as a place "where doleful dreamers drown." Yet beneath the jeremiad, one wonders if there does not lurk the urge to try it again.

[Laz K.]

Love, as everything else, has its own laws and rules. People get hurt because of illusions, misunderstandings, projections, expectations, past trauma that distorts their psyche, or just because of general ignorance of how they themselves and other people work. Love cannot be condemned any more than a gun that "killed" a person. Every poem is a personal, subjective take on a topic, in this case, love.

Try again? Definitely.
Make the same mistakes again? That remains to be seen.

Thanks for reading and commenting.

[Chris Shaw]

When I think of blue-black I think of bruises or crushed grapes. This poem makes me feel deep emotion. Love can sometimes feel like a losing game,. I felt that here. There is alot of pain both in and between these lines Laz.

Chris

[Laz K.]

The more intense the pleasure, the greater the pain.
I'm afraid these two go together.
read moreThe more intense the pleasure, the greater the pain.
I'm afraid these two go together.

Thanks for reading and commenting.

[Chris Shaw]

So true Laz, so true :(

[Fran Marie]

a lot a deeply felt emotions spilling
forth in this piece filled with angst
and sharp tones of anguish ..this
narrator is feeling bitter with pain
a frustration within a darkness
being left alone and hurt by love

Curse the lovely hands that untied
these feet...great lead in line
to this dark piece.. nice work

[Laz K.]

Thank you for reading and commenting! :)

[barleygirl]

Your poem is strongly & palpably expressed. This is a great example of what Jacob said upon my return, about how some writers here (including himself) are into an angry or dark mode of expression, which is why he was welcoming my typically nutty upbeat stuff. I have spent many years of my life feeling as you express in your poem & I'm just thankful I'm blissfully blind these days (((HUGS)))

[Laz K.]

Modes of expression are like taste in food: some prefer sweet, others salty. Temperaments differ. read moreModes of expression are like taste in food: some prefer sweet, others salty. Temperaments differ.

Thanks for reading and commenting.

[Delmar Cooper]

A wonderful piece of work of which you should be proud.

[Laz K.]

Thanks. I'm just glad it's out," kind of like a splinter one removes from under the skin.