Sister

Upon her request, I wrote this poem for my cousin-sister who is a year younger than me.

Remember when-

We’d sit in diapers

And we’d get caught

Being overly hyper

Remember when-

We’d talk to each other

No one’d understand us

Not even our mothers

Remember when-

We were both so small

I would wobble and walk

And you’d be learning to crawl

Remember when-

The floor was dirty

So we lathered it with shampoo

And made it all purty

Remember when-

We played with each other

In our make-believe play

I’d always be your mother

Remember when-

We found the hidden treasure

We cut bangs in our hair

To our parents’ extreme displeasure

Remember when-

I thought you had lice

Using the disinfectant

I rinsed your hair thrice

Remember when-

We’d be outside the whole day

Pretending to be flower girls

And gathering bouquets

Remember when-

We’d listen to nursery rhymes

We’d even jump on the bed

And dance to ‘em sometimes

Remember when-

I got mad at you

The pillow found your head

And so did the shoe

Ah those good times,

Do you remember them too?

Oh how fast time flies,

Oh how much do I miss you!

You were that pesky cousin sister,

That has shared my smiles and tears.

We’d confide in each other,

Our secrets and worst fears.

I know you are there,

So very far away.

I hope you remember me,

In your prayers everyday.

Although we fight

Whenever we are together,

Deep down I love you,

Forever and ever.

I sometimes wonder,

What’s going to be our next feat.

Oh I really can’t wait,

Until the next time we meet!

Author's Note

This is a silly (true) poem I wrote for my cousin about our memories together. We're a year (and many miles) apart and we've been glued to each other since the moment we were born (not literally of course). She's like my twin sister I never had. Our endless plots (only a few were actually successful) inspired me to write this piece. Title is based on request, so that's unchangeable; however I still don't know whether I should include further punctuation. Suggestions?
Thanks for reviewing/commenting/offering suggestions :)

Reviews

[13ReasonsWhy]

Awhhh!!!! This was so sweet I loved it!!!! I especially loved the line "And made it all purty" it added a touch of humor into the amazingness.... loved it!

[Wren]

Wonderful! I couldnt see any grammar spelling etc, mistakes and iI dont think you need any more further punctuation. A lovely poem that made me smile the whole time and remember my childhood:) Just perfect!

[Miss Evans]

This was an awesome poem/limerick. I hope your sister found it as enjoyable as I did, it made me laugh out loud, literally, which doesn't happen very often.

I don't think you should change a single bit of it. It captures every scene perfectly, the wording flows well, and its very light hearted.

I don't see how you could make this any better than it already is!

Bravo, Nzuri, Bravo.

*100*

[The XYZ Writer]

Hahaha!! I remember u telling me about the bang cutting. That was a very funny poem. Great piece of work. No, I don't think you need any punctuation. I didn't find any grammar mistakes either, so I guess this poem can be classified as PERFECT!!
:) Good job!
Sumayya

[A. L. Allen]

This is such a sweet poem. It reminds me of me and some of my cousins. :) Your rhyme scheme is fantabulous, and it seems to just roll right off the tongue.
As always, amazing job!

[~ Stefanie ~]

This was good! I don't feel like you need to make any changes at all to it. It's perfect just the way you have it written now. I like the way you worded everything and the rhyming scheme was great. Some of those past moments you took us back to made me laugh because it reminds me of times I've had with very close friends of mine, who are more like sisters to me. Anyway you did a fantastic job with this one! It was definitely a very enjoyable read :)

[Shy Girl]

Those memories were cute, funny, nostalgic and wonderful all at once. I'm sure your cousin-sister misses you just the same. Very nice dedication you have there for us to read and enjoy. I'm not good on the punctuation parts. (high school English class just was a blur, same with college) Sorry I can offer there. But I thought that you balanced your memories wonderfully, and I loved the soft beat of your well thought out word placement. Thanks for sharing your memories :)

[Boldpen]

Beautiful. This one write combined day to day life events, brilliantly with Literature.
It Was A HATTER..... Heartfelt And Touching, True, Elegant Read.
Nicely written.

[Yoshiyuki]

I could connect to the poem a lot though I am a boy. So I did not do some of the girly stuff with my sister. But I loved the poem. My suggestion with he punctuation is that if you feel comfortable leaving it out then I would say follow what you want. In a poem its all about what you want to include. I am impressed this is a really good poem. Good job making another excellent piece!

[Jasmine Thousand]

I like it a lot!!! I LOVE the way it rhymes and all the funny plots you and your cousin/sister did. It's a cute piece, and even though I'm more of a story person, I have to say I enjoyed every word.
~Jasmine Thousand~