Chapter Seven

Chapter Seven

            “You know Carrie,” she spoke suddenly and quietly into the silence, rolling onto her side to face the rodent curled up on the bed. They’d come to an unspoken consensus; today was a day off, until she’d realized, “It’s probably a good thing I keep…resetting. We don’t have enough to buy a room for another night.”
            “Don’t say that,” Carrie sounded demanding, never moving. “Don’t ever say dying is the good option.”
            She still thought it though, and went back to stroking the leaf that had plastered itself into the skin of her hand like a glove, wishing herself back to being curled in Rat-Mother’s lap in front of the living room fireplace. To die and go there, maybe wouldn’t be so bad. Why had she even left? Everything was so muddled; trying to get back to where she came from, a place she didn’t even remember and didn’t feel any connection to like she’d felt back in The Wreckage.
            “I just want to go back,” she barely said, feeling hotness well up behind her eye.
            “Well, it seems that you…re-spawn, or whatever, wherever you last lay your head, so…we should go forward if we can’t go back,” Carrie determined unhappily. They crawled out of bed and headed downstairs together.

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            “Excuse me, Stally.” The words came out quietly, but the stone girl lounging behind the bar with undone dishes heard and perked up immediately.
            “It’s the newbie! Hey, check this one out, she’s new to Slag Town and doesn’t know where she came from,” Stally laughed to a customer who spun around on his stool and made her blood run cold.
            “J--” She had to stop herself from saying his name. They hadn’t met in this timeline yet. But, what was he doing here? What had changed this time?
            “Well, well, well. Stally, you’ve been keeping secrets from me?” Judar said with a sideways glance and smile. Terra wanted to scream at Stally to get away from him, but decided silence would be the safest from escalating things. And yet Stally leaned on the counter next to him as simply as two buddies in a bar could.
            “You don’t exactly come into town often, Judy,” she teased, receiving a sharp elbow from her nervous mother who mumbled an apology to “the king”. Everyone in the bar was sort of shooting wary looks their way.
            “Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry, I meant your highness,” Stally added with an eye-roll that made Judar smirk. They were friends. They had to be.
            The thought made Terra shrink in fear. This stone-girl had held her when she cried, even if she didn’t remember it. And she was friends with a murderer, the one who enjoyed killing her.
            “Anyways, this brat got mugged in the street yesterday, but somehow managed to land a room here,” Stally laughed again, shooting the newbie a sideways glance and ignoring her mother again as she passed with a tray of undone dishes for her to do.
            “That’s great,” Judar chuckled, and his friend went on.
            “Speaking of, you’ve gotta pay up if you wanna stay another night,” Stally reminded, taking the key that the Terra had wanted to talk about.
            “Actually, I was hoping to speak to you about renting the room for another night,” Terra began quietly and waited for some help. Stally’s sideways glances were telling her enough. “You saw how I got the first key,” she was saying in silence, “Do it yourself.”
            She didn’t think she could if she wanted to.
            “I can always sleep…outside.” She meant it sincerely, only realizing how pathetic it sounded after she’d spoken. Stally and Judar shared a look before bursting out in laughter, like old friends do.
            “Man, if nothing else, this one’s funny!” Judar said, leaning back.
            “I get it--you must be one of them Wildwood hippy weirdos. But then,” Stally’s laughter died off. The two natives shared a look and dropped their voices.
            “How did she get here?”
            The question was directed to Judar, who only shrugged. “I dunno, I didn’t let her in,” he said.
            “It’s not like anyone else did!” Stally nudged him in annoyance. So, Judar must be the sole proprietor of the barrier. All the more important to befriend him.
            “You control that black wall out there?” Terra tried to ask nonchalantly, and only received a snort and an eye roll.
            “You’re joking, right? Do you even live in the Territories?” Stally said with a scoff and Judar seemed prepared for some over dramatic praise. “Judar is like a god. He connects each territory.”
            “Stally, c’mon.”
            “Okay, so he’s more like a vessel with a paranoid brother that uses him to control the barrier,” Stally went on to explain, “and we all have to stay stuck in this dark prison because none of the other lands are salvageable--so Jeremiah says.”
            “You trashin’ the way we run things?” Judar teased threateningly.
            “No, I’m trashin’ the way your dumb brother runs things. You don’t run s**t, Judy!” she corrected with a knowing smile.
            “Yeah, you’re right. I’d trash him too,” Judar agreed. “But, he is family.”
            Hearing that phrase struck a chord within Terra that had stayed silent for so long. It was an angry chord, enough to make her speak up and challenge, “So what?”
            The two turned to regard her.
            “‘He’s family’. What does that mean?” She questioned again.
            “What do you mean, ‘what does that mean’? Family’s family, dude.” And the fact that someone so sweet didn’t agree or understand that concept confused him. For some reason, his boundedness to blood (no matter how terrible) angered her.
            “I just thought…everyone hates everyone here. It’s so unhappy and mean. What if people were dedicated to people who deserved it instead of people who don’t?” She was blatantly talking about Judar, but he wouldn’t really understand. Everyone seemed to have a confidence in the way things worked in these Territories, except for her.
            “Okay…well, you try surviving out there on the goodness of strangers and see how long you last,” Stally supported Judar’s family ties, “It’s the difference between my mom throwing me out on the streets as opposed to keeping my leech-a*s around. We watch out for each other.” Stally winked, and Terra was more even confused. She couldn’t remember her family being like that. Norve have been the closest thing, Stally the second closest. Both had been there when she needed them most. Shouldn’t that be more important than family ties?
            “What about you? If your brother is so bad, why do you let him make you trap everyone inside that barrier? All of these people could be free,” Terra proposed. Judar thought for a careful moment.
            “He always says something about keeping death out and the living in--protecting the people and all that. They may hate him for it, but I’m not going to betray my own brother to make the townies happy in slaughtering him. I may not be a good person, but I’m not a complete savage.”
            “But would he do that for you?” The question popped out before she could stop it. Even Stally was caught off by the boldness.
            “Hey, newbie,” Stally whispered, “stop talking.”
            Judar visibly upset for the very first time. She had struck a chord in him as well.
            ‘Not complete savages’ he said--although she would beg to differ--how was it that they valued the one thing she despised the most: forced loyalty to blood, no matter how terrible. There was a certain resentfulness in Judar that she could recognize in herself, almost a jealously of her detachment from family ties.
            “Well, whatever--free them all from what? There ain’t nothing out there for them,” he finished, looking away to regain his bored expression.
            “Is that what your brother tells you?” she whispered, knowing his sensitive ears could pick it up. He ignored her, and Stally interrupted to break the tension.
            “Aaaanywho, listen newbie,” Stally made her way over to her. “The trash around here might have what you need if you can scrounge good enough. Try your luck there.” She leaned in close and dropped her voice to instill a bit of confidence with a quiet, “Just don’t get yourself killed.”
            So Stally was still in her corner, despite the inability to do anything. She would if she could, Terra told herself, but showing mercy in public could endanger Stally to the roughnecks and bruisers of the town.
            Together, Carrie and Terra turned to face the town with bittersweet determination. This run wasn’t going as planned, but there were worse things that could happen, right?
            “Thank you,” she said to the both of them. Stally froze, and Judar watched her carefully.
            “Haha, you are totally gonna die out there, newbie,” Stally said uncomfortably.
            “You are a weird little kid, aren’tchya?” was all he said. They both stayed quiet until she walked away to loot the trash of the town.
            “I don’t get why she doesn’t like you, she likes the nice ones and you’re one of the better ones around this stink hole,” she heard Stally murmur as she left.
            The flashbacks of her multiple deaths ran through her head and sent her into another seething rage. She’d been getting those a lot lately and didn’t like them. They weren’t her. And yet she couldn’t help it when she heard the amused irony in his voice. “Hell, no clue.”

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            Without sugar-coating it, she found nothing in the trash, but stayed optimistic. The two settled in a fort amongst the garbage for the night, staying hidden from the dark figures that crept around the town. Dark thoughts occupied the dark alley that night.
            How do you judge someone on something they haven’t done yet? Like temptation, is it really wrong if you harbor it within, but don’t act on it? And then, at what point in the action does it become wrong? Does undoing what you had been tempted to do make it right again, or is the sin stained on your skin. She considered the felines first. In one timeline, they were just a group of kids trying to fund a friend’s dream. In another, they were murderers. So, if she saw them again, would she feel anger? Fear? Pity? Would she help them if she could?
            And for Stally, who held her while she cried and in the next moment conversed alongside the enemy. Yet as she walked down the stairs of the inn and waved Terra goodbye, she knew she could feel no ill will go out to her.
            So then, Judar--just the other day she’d felt blood boiling hatred for the first time in a long time because of him. However, the next day one of her inspirations for getting up and heading straight to Judar was that for once they wouldn’t be meeting anew. She still felt the need to befriend him, and this was the first bit of hope she’d had in a while. She had already spent so much time wrestling with their relationship, trying to form a friendship, yet every time they reset, she learned a little more about him. Now was not the time to give up.
            Carrie decided to sit this one out today and scavenge for bits and buttons. Terra preferred to go alone anyways, to nix the feeling of judgment that the rat clearly had towards the boy. She approached his stand in excitement, for once not having to pretend they didn’t know each other.
            Her simple greeting of a raised hand made him smirk.
            “Good morning,” she said out of habit, and the smirk turned to a scowl.
            “What’s so good about it?” he said morosely, throwing her off. Could he still be bitter about their challenging conversation?
            “Well…we’re alive,” she tried, making Judar snort lightly and lean forward.
            “Not for long.”
            The mischief in his voice made her eyes flick nervously to the dark mountain pass, but no one came.
            “Why?” she questioned worriedly. Judar simply looked up at the glow worms hanging from the mysteriously black ceiling.
            “’Cause. Germ’s gonna fry my a*s--skipping watch duty yesterday, not lifting the barrier today,” he said with his signature shrug. Jeremiah, that name was thrown around during their conversation yesterday. It must be the brother.
            “Why did you skip yesterday?” she dared asked. Had her staying in that day somehow changed his actions during this timeline?
            “I dunno, wanted to I guess,” which wasn’t really an explanation until he jumped in remembrance. “Oh,” he started, “there was something I wanted to ask you--”
            “Judar! Again today?! I warned you that--”
            They tried to scramble apart before his brother saw, but Jeremiah’s eyes narrowed and immediately turned to Judar.
            “An intruder is here,” he began after a while. “And you’re not even bothering to stop them?”
            Judar said nothing, didn’t even slouch into his usual confident composure. He seemed…afraid.
            “Were you trying to befriend them? You disgusting weakling…”
            “No!”
            Both brothers’ heads swiveled towards her. She was surprised that the response had come from her, and now had to pipe up. “I was trying to befriend him.”
            Thank god Carrie wasn’t here to see this, or she’d be shrieking at the stupidity. Jeremiah gave a disbelieving shake in the rat’s place and turned to Judar.
            “Prove it, then. Capture them.”
            Judar blinked, slowly. “…what?”
            “Capture. Them.” Jeremiah repeated.
            “What?” They were talking in circles now, which Jeremiah quickly ended with an enrage huff.
            “They want a friend, don’t they?” he challenged. “Good friends show others how things work in The Territories.”
            The jibe sent a activated a wave of stress through her body as she looked to Judar, but he was staring at his brother. Did she imagine the worry on his forehead? Jeremiah’s sigh distracted her from it.
            “Are you actually too lazy to do it?” the elder brother snorted. “Fine, then. I’ll take care of it. Why the people of the town think so highly of you, I’ll never now. I guess I can’t have any success without you riding off it.”
            “Jeremiah,” Judar said the name dangerously, though his brother didn’t listen.
            “This is exactly why I’m the one who goes out every day. And even when the opportunity to prove yourself comes, you act all friendly and useless. What would the townspeople say if they saw that their ruler was so weak--”
            “Fine, I’ll do it.”
            Terra closed her eyes in defeat and the two boys stared each other down for a long moment before Jeremiah smiled, stepping back with a mocking bow and gesturing towards the slightly shaking child.
            “All yours, brother.”
            Judar stiffly stood up straight and approached her. She begged in silence, but the expression in his eyes made all hope flee. It was a look of determination.
            “Go ahead, brother. Prove yourself.”
            Judar said nothing, only breathed.
            “I…” he whispered, then dropped his voice to barely a whisper. “I don’t owe you anything.”
            This caused her to tilt her head in suspicious confusion.
            “You shouldn’t--…you don’t even know me,” she stated, yet the guilt in his eyes said otherwise.
            “Right,” he cleared his throat with a nervous glance to his brother and raised his fist. After a strange shifting sound came from beyond her range of vision, seven or eight thin spears pierced her body from every direction. Whatever they were, they ripped and pulled at the sinews within her, popping and splitting organs that leaked into her torso. Juices of life began to fill her cavity.
            She was still alive long enough to stare at the navy chords through her knee, opposite thigh, stomach, collar bone. There wasn’t even room for blood to seep from the tendrils’ perfect punctures, until they retracted and allowed the rivers to flow. She was left fading on the floor, wonder just what life had come to.