SIX OF US

six of us

such innocence

six of us

huddled tight under 

double blankets

no lights no heat

it was dark and cold

we made the best of it

there was nothing else to do

somewhere deep down inside 

there lived a fear 

that had always lain passive 

i knew it was wrong

it should not continue

but it did

the hours were slow agony 

with nowhere to escape 

when morning came 

we were still cold 

but now we could 

get up and get gone

escape this hell hole called home

school became our refuge

there was nothing to do but accept 

there was no one to tell 

no one to listen

then ...

the father came home from work

pulled in the drive

honked the horn to give notice ... 

I'M HOME!

get out hug and praise the dog 

WOOF!WHOOF! WHHHOOOOFFFF!

come inside and kick the scared subservient wifey

yes dear yes dear .... SLAP! 

i'm sorry it won't happen again ... dinner will be ready in a few minutes ... SLAP!

yesdearitwonthappenagain ... SLAP!

then comes scream at the kids

SHUT THE FUK UP! 

I"M TRYING TO READ THE PAPER!

lite up another cigarette exhale smoke 

then ring after ring after ...

like obedient pups we would tuck our tails and come sing praise in hopes of changing the mood 

if only for a while

even a small while

we grasp 

for opportunity 

to gain favor

not in selfish way 

but possibly avoid the sting 

of the yardstick's 

PAINS 

sure to be delivered 

next whipping

the sound ... the sting ... the bruises ... the welts

the embarrassment ... a need to hide the evidence

the anger growing inside

I did not trust 

my mouth to speak 

to keep all that 

filled my mind 

from spilling out into 

the light of day. 

i was too young 

to back them up

there was nothing 

to do but accept 

there was no one to tell 

it was the accepted behavior

father was king!

youngest brother once said ... let the beatings begin

they would and they did and it still stings

it was then the wifeys turn 

to take it out 

on us ...

i am glad they are gone

me and the 5 ... we don't speak

nothing to say

we were all there

nothing to say

Reviews

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

“we don't speak
nothing to say
we were all there
nothing to say”

These words exactly. Keith your emotionally-penned lines evoke states of fear, dread, abandonment, shame, self- hate- in the authentic
phrasing and speech of child and abuser. They resonate. Often childhood abuse roots deeply and stays silent to preserve life in a muted form. Like death while still alive. You voice this so perfectly that the dead raise their heads in acknowledgement. Thank you.

[keith]

it happens it is kept secret
most often it is impacted by learned behavior
now you know why i'm a childless bachelor
learned behavior i did not want to repeat
do appreciate the comment
life suks for ALL victims ...
what great beings we are ... mic drop